VIDEO: SKI JUMP FAIL "As seen on
FAILBLOG.ORG" in lower left corner
A beautifull snow drift wall in the
background, with an ice ramp in the fore.
Rasvar "One more time, YAY! Oh,
there we go.."
Grating sound, then...
***
--------------------------
Back to the show, Rasvar pushes
even more buttons.
Poink "I.. I actually advertized
you as being good.." Rasvar oks, oks!
----------------------
VIDEO: PAWPET LOGO, AND TETRIS-LIKE INFO
WINDOW.
Rasvar "Wait a minute, wait a
minute.." Ezra "It plays TETRIS!"
People start humming the Tetris
music. Rasvar "Wait a minute, wait wait wait.."
Back to the show. Rasvar "Hold
on.."
VIDEO: ... NOPE, IT'S BACK TO THE TETRIS
THING
People keep humming the tune. "Hold
on.."
Mutt gets motion sickness from the
segways "BLEH..." uses the Santa Hat.
1:03 The tune gets louder. Rasvar
"Trying to figure out what I did. *OH* there we go!"
Rasvar "Ok.." Poink "Wow." Ras
"Well, what do you expect? I haven't done this in
a while :P"
--------------------
VIDEO: "IT'S A NUTSHOTZ.COM PAYBACK!"
"MERRY CHRISTMAS.. BITCH!"
Mutt "Mmmmm, Nutshotz." Poink "This
is for you.."
Wife appears at the front door. "If
these keys are the only thing you can
get me for Christmas, you can
just walk out the <BLEEPING> Door.."
She turns.. and sees a huge black
SUV with a giant bow in the front drive way.
OOOOOOH!!! Romantic music starts
playing, and The Guy appears as the Wife
goes speechless.
Luv!
The Wife looks back, the Guy gives
her the keys, and drinks from his coffee mug
as she runs out.
Sound of her getting into the
truck.
Door slams. Guy sips.
Band whispers "Merry Christmas.."
Wife waves from the truck, slams the door.
Key turns in the ignition.. and
********BOOM!***********
The truck explodes from the waiting
car bomb. The guy smiles as the reflected
light of the 50 foot flames
dance in the side windows, then goes back inside.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS (burning)
*BITCH*"
---------------------------
1:04 Mutt "Brilliant." Poink "MERRY
CHRISTMAS! ^_^ I'm done until Tuminator time, I
need oxygen and Pot." Poink
leaves. Ezra "Hey we have some Christmas TOYS
here in the His-House." Mutt "I
LOVE TOYS!"
Yappy's getting his toy ready. Mutt
"Wait a minute.. wait a minute.."
Gasoline-powered. Poink think it
uses a pull-cord.
Ezra "This is a toy, that we can
play with.. RIGHT HERE!" The magic Hydrant.
1:05 Ezra explains how to play, deck of
cards. List on the cards, Topic. Must list off
things in that topic. "Pizza
Toppings.. A> Anthovies B>Bologna C>Cheese,etc"
Mutt draws "TOWN OR CITIES ENDING
IN -VILLE" Rasvar "Oh come on.."
1:06 Mutt "Gainsville.. Emeryville...
.... ... Brooklynville.." Ras "Oh come ON!!"
"L.A.-ville.." Ezra "No
L.A.ville" "Orlando-ville.." Rasvar "Largest-City-In
The-STATE!" "Fair-vill-a.."
Ezra oks. Ras arghs. ".... Channel?"
Mutt reads the Channel. Bandit
squeeks. "Parkville.. Denmarkville.. Viagraville?"
Knoxville! Ezra "You missed
JACKSONVILLE!" "I'm not a Jacksonville fan, I
intentionally left them
out."
Mutt gets 4 points. Blitz is up
next. Mutt "That's $4,000, right?" Ezra "Well see"
1:07 Blitz "Can you hear me?" Rasvar
"Yah, we can hear you now. "...Good."
Mutt fights with his Santa-hat
again. "It looks like I've got a vagina on my head"
Blitz draws BRANDS OF SOFT
DRINKS.
"Sprite.. Coke.. R.C. .. Fresca..
Mountain Dew.. Doctor Thunder, Mr. Pibb.."
Mutt just watches with his brain
exposed. "Pepsi.. CRYSTAL Pepsi! :) Um..."
Ticking clock sound. Stagehand
slowly makes a grab for Mutt's hat. Mutt turns.
"STAGEHAND!
GROSS!"
Timer EEEEEEHS. Time's
up.
1:08 Rasvar gets "THINGS YOU CAN BUY AT
A NEWSSTAND"
Newspaper, magazine, books, coffee.
Mutt mumbers "This is easier.."
Mutt whispers bubble gum. Then
Weed. "Depends on where you go to.."
Hugh the Manatee next. Mutt
grumbles "Took my vagina off." Hugh "You had a
vagina?" "Birth
defect."
1:09 Hugh gets THINGS THAT CAN KEEP YOU
WARM.
Aersole with flame, Bondfire,
Cold-blooded killer, Dog-on-Fire, the Eurithmics
Mutt "The Eurithmics keep you
warm??" "They do, I LOVE 1984 Sex Drive.."
Flaming balls of fire. Fire itself.
GREAT balls of fire "By Jerry Lewis!"
"D..G.." Ezra "Time's up!" "I
forgot the alphabet.."
Back to Mutt. Hugh "Do another
line!" Can't believe he forgot Farting keeps warm
1:10 Mutt "It's *Methane*" Mutt gets
DESERTS!
Chocolate, Vanilla, Hazelnut, Toffee, Silly Pudding,
Macademia, Vanilla, Cherry,
"Uh... Yogurts. Oh Cake, Pie,
Ice Cream" EEEEEH, time's up. 8.
Blitz goes again.
BIRDS!
1:11 Oriel, Cardinal, Blue Jay,
Parakeet, Tocan, Eagle, Bald Eagele, Sparrow, Quail,
Whipperwille, Unbrellabill.
EEEEEEH Hugh "You forgot Cock, and Hooter!"
Rasvar is draining the lizard? Gets
THINGS HUNG ON A CHRISTMAS TREE!
1:12 Ornaments, Popcorn, Tinsel, Lights,
stars angels Santa Claus, Manettes, Foxes
Hugh "ewww.." Marshmellows,
helicopters, .. everything! Mutt "Start looking
around the room!"
Hugh arrives, covered in Bling! "My
turn?"
Technical difficulties, thing
wasn't keeping score?
1:13 Time out, Bandit has a new toy!
From Yappy.
Yappy got a REMOTE CONTROL
HELICOPTER! Flies around the kitchen like a giant
dragonfly. Checks out the
coffee machine. Mutt "We races, we race through
the building with those
things."
Falls on the floor "Bandit, get
it!" Yappy gets it first. Ezra explains that most
are metal, but this one is
plastic, designed to take falls.
1:14 Mutt tries to bite it, then it
flies down again, and Bandit take a bite at it!
Mutt "Bandit is enthralled with the
helicopter.." people start humming the
Ride of the Valkyries theme,
ala Apocalyse Now. Just smaller.
Stagehand tries using it as a fan,
flies is around the room! Rasvar "Oh now, it's
going to crash! BANDIT GET
IT!"
1:15 Flies around the stage. "Oh no it's
going down!" Bandit jumps, and grabs it out
of the air!
Putting the copter back on a bar
stool, while Bandit stares up at it intently
Bandit POUNCES, grabbit it right of
the stool! "OOOOOOH!"
Dog gets some series mixed signals
as some urge him on, while others try to save
the helicopter from
mauling.
1:16 Hugh "How much did this thing
cost..?" Rasvar ums "I'm not gonna say :)"
Copter goes around.. and around..
and around "Is the tail rotor not working
anymore?" Out of
control!
Another lauch, Bandit is
anti-aircraft! "BLACK DOG DOWN! BLACK DOG DOWN!"
1:17 Mutt keeps praising Bandit's AA
abilities, Bandit freaks out and goes into
hiding? "Bandit, come on
out.."
Camera on Bandit as he slowly
slinks out of hiding, with ears down, with a
'What did I do?' expression on
his face. Someone belches. Bandit starts
smiling after a
scritch.
Rasvar pushes more buttons, camera
goes back to stage. Hugh "While we're here,
Yappy won't hurt you, but after
we go Yappy will beat you." Mutt "Good, BOY!"
1:18 Mutt hmms "Who farted?" Rasvar "I
haven't.. yet." People in channel are doing
"Get to the
choppah!"
Guests tonight, Juno and Huskers?
Not here yet?
1:19 Hugh "I've got a question.. what is
everybody's favorite Christmas Memory?"
Hugh's Grandma would go to the
Giant Pretzel Shop in the Mall, get a pretzel,
and then bring it home and
spank Hugh with it, which taking a bite out of
the pretzel herself each swing.
"Until it was gone." Mutt AWWWWWs "She beat
you with it too?" "Yes, I loved
it." Soft pretzels are your friend. "And the
salt really made it
sting."
Ezra's Christmas Memories. 5-7. Big
Trend, wrap Christmas in Celophane paper,
translucent, going layer by
layer. Aunt Noel. Rasvar "Was she the first.. in
the family?" "She married into
the family." "So she was the First Noel.."
1:20 Another Aunt Natividad. People
almost sing the Julio Iglesias thing, then stop.
Noel wrapped all in the crinkly
celophane paper, plastic? KP crawled into the
pile of wrapping paper, looking
up at all the colorfull sheets, up at the
lights. Thinks he'll never see
a prettier sight than all those colors
sparkling up through the paper
around the Christmas Tree.
1:21 Poink "You know what's missing
then?" "No." "Heroin." "No."
Don't see that kind of wrapping
paper anymore, was very cool.
Channel people talk about doys.
Game Boys. Gay Boys? Mutt "GAME, with an -M-"
Mutt got an Atari! "It had just
came out, and I was so excited!"
1:22 Next day at school, didn't think
about anything other than "Get home and play
Atari." Mutt blinks, maybe that
was his birthday?
Favorite Atari games. JR got his
first Atari at 27 in a garage sale.
Rasvar pushes a button, and a
Christmas card hangs in space over Poink's head.
Carpor's Christmas Card. "Happy
Holidays!" Group photo, cartoony.
1:23 Art Jam, send in Christmas cards!
And Carpor's in channel!
Any William's "Happy Holidays to
you" song. "Is he still alive?"
1:24 More cards. AceRover. Yappy's Santa
Suit was turned over to Santa Paws?
Motorcycle sound... no.. what? "Was
that a FART?"
-1:24 First blood. Rasvar farted! People
picture motorcycles leaving trails of fire.
Poink "OOoooooh his Ass Cheeks
went BumBumBUM BUM...sounds just like a drum.."
1:25 Yappy "What, no Fruitcake?" reads
cards from many people, happy Xmas music plays.
Poink "Am I the only one who things
Mistletoe is a disease?" Christmas Microbes.
Bandit got a Card! "I can't read,
cause I'm a dog!"
1:26 Mutt tries to Shazam the song
playing, but it didn't work. "What's Shazam?"
Iphone app that identifies
songs.
Usually works, uncanny. Fillyjonk's
card. Console freezes again.
1:27 Poink "And the card says.. we are
the IRS.. pay us.. or we keel you."
Freeze time. Rinky Dink voices play
for about 30 seconds. Nobody moves.
1:28 Then.. Mutt "DOES ANYBODY ELSE HEAR
THAT? IT'S NOT ME!"
Caroline wants people to knock
themselves out with eggnog. "THANK YOU CAROLINE!"
Mutt thinks there's much less
channel lag today. "Everyone in channel, I want you
to hit '4' right after I hit
'4', I'm gonna see how long the lag is.
"1...2...3......" Mutt stops, then
checks the channel "WOW! That's instant! There
was no lag!" Channel goes
444444444FORE44444FOUR4444444444FOR44444444
Mutt "There is no lag, the lag is
gone, we are totally LIVE!!" People woo!
"ALIVE! ALIVE ALIVE, like a
freaking FREAK SHOW!"
1:29 Poink "(New York) Liveh, frum nuw
Yerk.. it's.. Sundae Nite."
Ezra "I saw Saturday Night Live
last night, it was SO FUNNY!" Rasvar tells the
channel they can stop with the
4's.
Mutt notes he tried that lag thing
with Europe before. Rasvar "Ok guys.. GUYS..
if you DON'T STOP.. if you
DON'T STOP.. if you DON'T STOP I'm shutting the
show down.."
Some people are more lagged than
others. Ezra and Mutt whisper "Don'tstopdon'tstop
yay!Wegettogohome.."
Rasvar "OK! I'm shutting the show
down!"
<TOTALBLACKNESS.EEP>
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!" Screams everywhere. "Goodnite everybody!"
SINKHOLE II: YES, IT'S NOT OVER
YET. Rinky dink voices keep chirping in background
Stage returns. People Yay! Mutt
"And we're back. Happy New Year everyone!"
Poink "Wish you could have seen
the rest of the Christmas Show, it was great!"
Skunk card "You did it, HURRAY!
Here's to the sweet small of success."
1:30 Mutt "Yatta!" From Garrison
Skunk, watches since Episode 6.
Ezra wows, that was around the
year 2000?
More cards, JRek P.S. "I dare you
to sing THIS version of the song on your show"
Yappy "So I will let *POINK* start
singing it." Poink "(Scrooge) If you insist.."
Poink starts singing silk of 12
Days of Christmas on his own.
"On the 12 days of Grossmas my True
Love Gave to me.."
1:31 12 Yellow Snowballs
11 Farting Reindeer
10 Santa Buttcracks
9 Moldy Fruitcakes
8 Sweaty Longjohns
7 Frozen Boogers Poink
blinks "...(wonder) That's gross.."
6 Smelly Stockings
"And what's this one..?" 555555..
Bathroom Rings!
4 Mooning Elves
3 Chunky Eggnogs
Tinsel, Hair or Balls?
"And a.. another page.."
Flip.
Poink pauses to stare at it ".. And
a SECOND CARROT on the snow-man!.."
Chuckling, yays! Yappy catches
Rasvar checking Sports again.
Rasvar HEYS! "It's playoffs for
Fantasy Football! I had to check the score--"
Poink "--DO YOU
HAVE A TEAM NAMED THE MONGOLIAN CLUSTER-'F'S!??" "No, mine's
the Gainsville Dead
Tivos.."
Poink "By the way, don't -EVER-
-DARE ME- because I -WILL- -DO IT-!" Yappy "What,
put a second carrot on the
Snowman?" "Oh I will do that too." Mutt dares him.
1:32 Even more cards! Rasvar finishes
checking the score. "I'm up by 64 points!"
Poink "I think Carrot got it
right in channel.. it's the Cluster-Fluffs!"
(Alternate Spellings > Being PC)
Up Next.. TUMINATOR!
Poink has a warning for the Channel
"And I *MEAN THIS*.. here's the thing about
this Tuminator. Now, you're
-going to know- who did the first song, you're
going to know -what the song
is-.. but if you GONG it (ie, type the name and
artist in channel, forcing the
second song to be played in its entireity)
... the second song is *SO
HIDEOUS*.. *SO BAD*..."
1:33 ".. *SUCH A WRECK TO THIS BAND'S
CAREER*.. you will be Burned in INFAMY in the
CHANNEL..And I'm gonna LOVE IT!
So.. watch the channel.. and see who the
ASSHOLE is gonna be.. because
THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
Mutt "Modern Day Delila, by KISS."
Nope. Poink "I found worse." Mutt is shocked.
Rasvar covers the rules, name
artist and song in channel to kill it, but then you
MUST listen to ALL of the
second song. Very rarely does the first song
survive, allowing you to
mercifully kill the second one.
Rasvar "And so without further
Ado.." <TUMINATORMUSIC.MP3!!!> People jump!
Rasvar ".. it's Tuminator Time :)"
Mutt "I haven't heart that in.. forever!"
Poink "None of us have! We thought
it was lost!" Rasvar "I found it :)"
1:34 SONG #1: "I want you to Want Me" by
Cheap Trick
Poink "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!" (Huh?
What? It was someone else..) Song dead after
5 seconds of the title being in
the lyrics. Rasvar oh boys..
Poink notes the second song was
"The Death of this band's career.. goodbye!"
Rasvar "Now remember who you have
to kill here.." Poink "His name is Colbeck!"
Rasvar "... you now have to listen
to this entire thing...."
Poink "And you won't believe it
once you hear it.." Here comes the pain.
SONG #2:
"....(riff)*TRANSFORMERSSSSS!!!*(riff)*TRANSFORMERSSSSS!!!***"
The Fallen have their Revenge.
"More than meets the EEEEEEYYYYYYEEEeeeeEEE!"
1:35 Mutt moshpits. Ezra hangs himself?
Mutt "NOOOOOO!!!" "*TRANSFORMERSSS!!!!!*"
Ezra falls. The stage slowly
Transformers Mutt "So THIS is Cheat Trick?"
Rasvar starts pushing
buttons.
1:36 Camera starts following the
Helicopter again, following the flashing red and blue
lights.
Poink finally kills it, as the good
side of his nature shines throught.
Poink "That was actually in the new
movie." Mutt "The NEW movie?" "Revenge of the
Fallen
orwhateverthey'recalled.." Mutt "For REAL?" "Yep."
Mutt ".....uuuuuhhhhggg..." lists a
bit. Poink "I didn't bother to go see it."
1:37 Christmas Traditions? Mutt votes
for those little cookie things.
<TOTAL-SCREEN-COLOR-INVENSION> Everything glows with beautiful
radiation.
Mutt "We can all eat COOKIES!"
earbangs. Rasvar's pushing buttons again.
Poink looks at himself looking
at himself "I look like a goat."
Mutt enjoyed the Sparkling
Christmas Spectacular, which Disney doesn't do anymore
Radiation fades. Replaced by double
screen vision.
1:38 Ezra's story. Folks didn't have
much money, but Mom worked at the department
store called Weiners. Mutt
"..WHAT!? You MOM worked at a WEINERS?" "Yes.."
"They only sold clothes and shoes,
that's it." Mutt "Wait a minute.. what do
Weiners have to do with clothes
and shoes?" Blitz "What do DICK'S have to do
with Sporting Goods?" Poink
"What do Krystals have to do with hamburgers?"
1:39 Ezra anyways.. Mom was able to take
broken ornaments and things home.
Santa claus that looks EXACTLY
like the one burned in National Lampoon's
Christmas.
Ezra often kid Burned Santa because
he thought it looked cheap.
Mom sends care package years late
'I thought you'd want one of your old
ornaments on the tree' and in
it is the Burned Santa.
1:40 Ezra opens the box.. and all these
memories come flooding back. Burned Santa
is now a treasure.
The Helicopter flies around in
front of the stage! Ezra puts his Santa at the
top of the tree now. "Since
he's as old as I am."
Poink notes that Ezra just told the
world and YouTube that his Mom gift-wrapped
Weiners. People argh. Rasvar
cackles.
1:41 Weiner's are still open. The
helicopter is stuck behind the stage.
Mutt "I have a queston! WHY WOULD
ANYONE NAME THEIR STORE WEINERS!??" "It was
the guy's last name. OW!"
Helicopter scores a critial hit in a sensitive
spot, and Bandit pounces!
Mayhem behind the stage, people laughing.
Rasvar cackles "The humanity! Oh
the Humanity!" Mutt "Ezra's been fixed!"
Ezra "(high falsetto) I got
Neutered for Christmas!"
1:42 Falsetto chorus of "All I want for
Christmas are my two front nuts."
Tone changes at the end to
Cthuhlu-deep-voice-speak. Poink "What, do they
attach with
velcro?"
Ezra "(regular voice)I did NOT get
Bob Barkered!" Poink "No, you got Ed McManoned!
SOUND CLIP: "Good thumb! I'm a
HORNY Grapefruit!" o_O Mutt "... HUH?"
Rasvar amazes even himself "Wow.."
Gaylord Hotel. Why do parents do this to their
kids? Badcock plaza? (And what
about Handcock?)
1:43 Gapers store. Back before people
though about such things. Weiner's has been
around since the 1890's? Mutt
"Well today, Mr. Manage, it manes 'Penis'. So
you have a store named
'Penis."
The Gaylord Badcock Weiner store.
Yappy keeps playing with the helicopter.
1:44 Poink "..there's also a gay bar
called Flaming Pricks.." Ezra "And how do you
know this?" "Cuz it's owned by
Tod Flamin and Nick Pricks.."
Lawyer Associations are fun. Best
Christmas presents?
Mutt starts working on his 4th blue
vine.
Ezra votes for his Apple ][e
computer. Poink points out Rasvar got an Apple ][*c*
Poink "Which is better?" Rasvar
"(confident) The 2C is better" Ezra heys!
1:45 The E is older than the C? Which
came first, the Apple or the Windows?
Ezra gives the Progression of
Windows. Xerox Altos, purchased by Apple, became
the Lisa, which became the Mac,
which made GUI popular, Mutt "GOOEY?"
Graphical User Interface.
Microsoft constructs copycat Windows.
Mutt "Stupid Microsoft,
stealing everything.." Rasvar "Gooey??..."
1:46 Guests were expected, but aren't
here? Rasvar notes Windows 3.1 blew him off, so
he's used Linux ever
since.
YingYangs at work. Mutt notes if
folks make a No Show when supposed to be a guest,
it means that someone else had
to be turned down, so it's worse than being a
now show at work. Mutt nods
"And we slash your tires."
Juno and Huskers are late? Mutt
"You're tires are going flat." Ezra "Need to call
and let us know what's going
on!" Mutt "We hate slashing tires.. it dulls
our blades."
(Note: Later on they call and say they
planned to be there NEXT show, communications
breakdown.) "And I hate
sharpening."
1:47 Poink tries to remember favorite
gift.. says he doesn't get a lot? Ezra notes
he gots a lof of Matchbox Car
tracks. "I got my ass beat with those!" "And
you LOVED those!"
Mutt got a Texas Instruments
computer. Yappy "I would LOVE to see what you
programmed!" "I made the same
word go over and over and over!"
Trash80's vers Texas Instruments?
Mutt made a guy dancing. "And it took half a
day to program it
in."
1:48 Mr. Bojangles. Poink says he
remembers it? Yappy "Syntax error in 30! Syntax
error in 60! Syntax error in
80!" people shudder.
GoSub errors. Yappy "For without
each in line 30!" Poink tries to make numbers
scroll down the
screen.
1:49 Poink "I hated that." Yappy divides
by Zero. Mutt "Can I put Basic programming on
my resume?" Ezra "Illegal
if=then statement!" Poink thinks cherry phosphates
will get you higher. Mutt
"Slash / Go."
Modems and you. Ezra "My friends
were very serious hackers at the time."
Mutt "How can you be a very series
hacker when they just came out?" Ezra "They
got into systems that they
weren't supposed to be in.."
Hacking as bragging rights vs.
Hacking to steal stuff, as it is today.
1:50 Ezra "Where could you go.. what
could you get into.. and what did you have to DO
to GET there?" Poink "What
could you do with a BA in English?"
Ezra "I had a friend who hacked
into an IBM payroll system." Mutt "Are you
SERIOUS?" "Yep, and he left a
-little- -tiny- -note-." "And he is.. now in
prison?" "Nope, he's not.. he
got away with it."
(Shall. We. Play. A. Game.?) Ezra
notes it was a long time ago, statue of
limitations is your friend. Guy
helped them by telling where the security
hole was.
Mutt "A little post-it?" "Sort of."
"How nice.." "It printed out on the Vice
President's
paycheck."
Juno and Huskers are in channel,
thought they were coming next week instead of
this week? Poink remembers
looking up on the website, they're coming the
27th. Oops.
1:51 Mutt "Yappy's not checking his own
website!"
Ezra announces another castmember
is here! Mutt "YOU DON'T MEAN!?...."
Mutt and Ezra "YES WE DO!.."
Ezra "THE ONE AND ONLY..." Poink "I E CLEM!"
Blitz "Who?" Ezra "The One and
Only ITCHYBUTT is here!"
People YAY! Mutt "Got to see a
doctor about those worms.."
Yappy plays Santa! He starts giving
out gifts
"For: POINK! Because he likes
to blow things up!" Poink "This is not gonna
bode well.."
Stagehands strip away the outer
shell.. then.. "Because I like to blow things up,
you gave me a box of
CheezeIts?" Mutt "I bet there's not CheezeIts in there."
1:52 Some sort of kits? JR ohs! "These
are some of those Inflatible Animal balls.."
Instant joke. JR sighs "Hang
on, I'll show you.."
JR /Poink takes the backside of a
Frog in his mouth (o_O) and starts blowing, and
blowing, and BLOWING, as the
frog swells like a monster from Dig Dug (O_O).
Yappy starts naming names of people
'into' inflation. Mutt arghs! Yappy "Well his
character does
that!"
JR shows the doomstretched Frog to
everyone "How much more do I go?"
Mutt "In..flatiphiles in
channel.. how far should we go..?" JR shows it off.
Yappy mentions a few, including
Oz Kangaroo.
1:53 JR opens his fingers, and the thing
ALMOST jumps away, deflating.
Mutt "They want bigger.. they want
it to *POP*" JR "Do I have to blow up the tiger
too?" doesn't want to pop a
gift.
Yappy Santa returns "For Ying Yang,
in his quest to become Devin 2.0" "YAY!"
Ying Yang blinks. "Oh.. I'll be
right back." changes puppeteers?
JR blows up the tiger and then
shows everyone its ____hole.
JR starts using the hole to talk
through. Ok, that's just weird.
1:54 YingYang gets two magic tricks!
Ezra "Two magic tricks.. and a lot of blowups for
Poink!" All from Garrison? "The
third gift from Garrison.."
Yappy "TO: Mutt.." Poink "..How
many rings did you loose?.." ".. because he likes
to smell."
Fragile?
1:55 Mutt gets his gift, ask channel
"What's your favorite Christmas TV show?"
Poink picks "A Wish for Wings that
Work."
Lots chime in. "Bloom County!"
"They never rerun it, do they?" "It's all on DVD."
(Conviently ignore that Copyright
thing at the start) "It's $5 at Walmart!"
Ras finds his favorite Christmas
gift, but saves it.
Mutt gets.. OATS? But something
within which is not of the Oats.
Channel - Wonderful Life, Santa
Clause Conquers the Martians, A Chrimstas Story
aka The Red Rider Rifle
Movie.
-0:53 And Mutt gets.. FUNONIONS!! Rasvar
"FUNonions?!"
1:56 Miracle on 54th Street. "There's
something UNDER the Funonions!" Cinnamon Pecan
Bun? Scented Candle. "I can set
that on fire during the Christmas party, and
it will smell like I was making
cookies (sneaky) but I -didn't-!"
Mutt SNIFFS, gets an extreme
reaction to the candle.
Yappy "To Ezra: Who is always
Displaying" "Displaying?" "Displaying around.."
1:57 Ezra unwraps, Rasvar thinks the
Tree is going to fall.
Poink wows "I can't believe nobody
brought up Rudolph?" Yappy "I don't like him."
Poink "I like Rudolph." Mutt "I
like Rudolph! Who doens't like RUDOLPH?"
Ezra gets Toasted Oats.. which
probably aren't. Mutt "Big bag of WEED! YAY!"
1:58 Candy.. and "Star Wars PLAYING
CARDS!" Mutt hmms "You don't know Ezra at all,
do you?"
Rasvar "Did we get the named mixed
up on this?" Ezra "I -collect- playing cards!"
Poink asks Mutt if he's seen the
new gift from Lucasarts? Mutt "... the what?"
"The Ton Ton Sleeping Bag!"
"...... OH MY GOSH, REALLY!??" Poink "Find it!
Look it up
online!"
(*CAN* people make this up?) Enjoy
the warmth of your own eviserated riding beast.
Mutt "You get in through the side,
right?" Poink notes the insides are shaped
like intestines. "You SLEEP on
his head.."
Webpage warp to the TaunTaun
Sleeping Bag. Because people are geeky and sick.
1:59 Yappy "For someone's who's been
both naughty and nice in 2009.." Poink agrees.
Rasvar puts HIS favorite present on
the screen, the Tin Can Alley!
Yappy gets an Old Elpaso Soft Taco
Bake Dinner Kit! Gas alert.
The box actually contains Tacos.
Compromise between evil and good.
Mutt "Wasn't that supposed to
be kept refrigerated?" Poink "Not anymore."
One for Simba, needs delivering.
"One for.. Bandit! Because he's BanditBandit
BanditBandit!" Everyone starts
shouting Bandit, who comes, looking confused.
2:00 Bandit Cam. Box is still wrapped on
the floor, Bandit looks all around, ignoring
the wrapped box. Ezra "He says
'wait a minute, that's one of the things I'm
NOT supposed to chew
on.."
Bandit starts carefully checking it
out as stagehand opens it.
High Tea! Yappy "You put it on your
dog, and it records what your dog SEES."
Poink "It's a camera for his
collar!" People go nuts! "BANDIT CAM! BANDIT CAM!
2:01 USB, battery operated. People want
to try it right now!
Yappy "Trying to see.. what the
catch might me? Which operating system?" People
thank Garrison for more
awesomeness!
AntiCaptor Bandit-Cam. Seeing what
Bandit sees. Mutt wants one of the UP talking
dog collars.
2:02 Mutt "I'm a talking dog already!
And I don't need that stuff."
JR decodes the instructions.. then
finds the devices -charges-, and it will
take two hours, so it's not for
this show.
2:03 Mutt asks what are some things
people wanted, but never got? Rasvar "A Lamborgini"
PC or Mac, but only 5 hours of
charge. People want the World, GI JOE aircraft
carrier. Easy Bake Oven? Poink
"I want an Easy Bake Over." "Rufus wanted
a live kangaroo." Poink "..I
want a dead kangaroo. They're easier to have
stuffed."
Fursuit for Christmas?
2:04 Chubby Pony for Hobbes. Poink "Um,
why chubby?" Mutt "So he could ride it.. have
you seen Hobbes?" Poink "....
wow dude." "What? He's chubby." Rasvar "..woah"
Mutt "WHAT? Like Chubby's a Bad
Thing? Whadyasayin!?"
Poink "(trying not to laugh) I
don't know what I'm saying.. I'm saying we need
to go to video! :D" "Go to
video!"
Rasvar searches for buttons.
Channel still wants things. Motorola drive? "Give
them time to come down in
price!" People want a Poink Plushie? Poink "They
hard my last
podcast.."
Mutt "From Folksmanis!" Poink
"Actually, I go out and take a live ferret, and
hook it up with.." toys that
are too real "It runs around the cries :)"
(Traitor O_o) Marcus Noble notes
some girls LIKE chubby.
2:05 Mutt "Chubby is the new Skinny!"
Poink "So.. what's the New Skinny?" "....Beano"
Pawpet Logo. And some desktop
icons. Rasvar "How'd that get there?"
More button pushing.
Anti-technology aura is a go. "It's an -Apple-, (laughs) I
broke it :)"
-------------------
VIDEO - "RELIENT K - SLEIGH RIDE (OFFICIAL
MUSIC VIDEO)(HD)"
2:06 Band jazzes up traditional song,
but the rabbit guy really just wants to
skate with the beautiful rabbit
girl. His friends notice, and hmm.
2:07 Santa lands nearby, and the guys
have an idea.. HIJACK THE SLEIGH!
Sweet ride. She likes it! Sant
hates it, and goes into Terminator mode.
2:08 Score a hug! Oh oh.. Santa just
went Super Saiyan. Giant Snowman abomination, GO!
Girl still likes the ride. SNOWBALL
IMPACT! Falling! Save her!
Rabbit guy makes a girl Snowman.
Snowman jumps for it, dragging Evil Santa
to his doom.
2:09 Guy gets the girl! Santa is ready
to kill someone, but they hand him the reins
back and he eventually calms
down.
---------------------
---------------------
VIDEO - THE MUPPETS: RINGING OF THE BELLS
(ie Carol of the Bells. If 'mimimi' is caroling)
An evening of music with: Beaker,
Animal, and the Swedish Chef.
Beaker
"Mimimimi..mimimimi...mimimimi..mimimimii..."
Chef
"Derderderder...derderderder...derderderder...derderderder..."
Animal ".......DING! DONG....
DING! DONG....."
2:10 Animal looks at his tamboring "Ding
Dong? No, nononono.." way too small.
"mimimimimi...mimimimim...mimimimimi...mimimimi..."
"BURN Disi Burchi BURN disi Burchi
Burn disi burchi dooon deer deer.."
Animal makes some clanking noises
"mimimiMiMiMiMEMEME ME ME.." Chef wondes what's
going on.
Animal returns with dual-wielding
BIG bells
"DING! *ding* DONG! *dong* DING!
*ding* DONG! *dong* DINGDONG, DING DONGG!!!"
Hmm, still not enough. Uh
oh.
Beaker starts Mi-ing with
increasing agitation, tries to get Chef's attention,
more heavy machinery clanging
in the background.
Animal comes back, holding a giant
robe. "DING DONG!!!' Church bell, Beaker
starts to totally freak out.
Chef shrugs and keeps on going.
The bell SUCKS Animal up into the
air. Chef freaks now, and runs. Beaker turns
to watch?
*DDDDONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!* The church
bell falls, SMASHING OVER Beaker with a huge
ringing impact that distorts
space and time. Which then cracks, Libery Bell
style, to allow Beaker too
emerge, like some sort of alien from a pod. Who
then pitches forward.
Boom.
Statler and Waldorf (I can't tell
them appart) "That was so bad, it locked up
my computer!" "QUICK! Let's get
out of here before it finds the KEY!"
Hohoho! "No, I mean it." They leave
quickly.
---------------------
2:11 VIDEO - THE MUPPETS: ODE TO
JOY
Beaker gets his own recording
studio, the Andy Warhol grid treatment, and shows
how he can play the drums,
violin, and metronome all at once.
And destroy a glass. And set the
violin on fire.
2:12 And fry himself with electricity.
Cue Statler and Wardorf.
---------------------
2:13 VIDEO - CUTE ANIMAL CHRISTMAS
SONG
RL animals sings "Can you do a
thing, for me?" with human lips superimposed
onto their faces.
"Wish I had a home, for
Christmas."
"Find out about it online, yeah?"
fox leaves
---------------------
2:14 VIDEO - PARODY TRAILER FOR "THE
FLIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS"
"THe *FRIGHT* BEFORE
CHRISTMAS"
"But this Christmas.. Santa's
making something NEW to pull his sleigh.."
Rudolph's an reindeer/dinsaur
hybrid? "We must FIGHT!" "You don't understand,
SANTA'S A WEREWOLF!" Then
things get -really- interesting.
Werewolf Santa traveling through
space "HoHOHo.."
2:15 Dramatic music plays as Evil Santa
sends Rudolph out to destroy everyone else.
The End? "Ok, so that's nor real."
"Watch the real thing:"
"(colorfull) The FLIGHT Before
Christmas!" CBS
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO - FROSTY THE SNOWMAN DEALS
WITH GLOBAL WARMING
2:16 Frosty's mad as hell, and he's not
gonna take it anymore.
Another CBS Parody
trailer
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO - FROSTY THE INAPPROPRIATE
SNOWMAN (Two and a Half Men version)
"I've got a rash in my... private
area." Laugher "Private? If you get any more
traffic down there you'll have
to open a Starbucks!"
Frosty stakes out the parking lot
of Chuck E Cheese.
2:17 "Name three contributions the Roman
Empire made to Civilization."
Frosty recites "Orgies, wine,
and bulimia!"
More "Happy Holidays"! (Somewhere,
Fox News goes on Red Alert) from CBS
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: HEY YA! CHARLIE BROWN STYLE,
music video of Outkast
The Peanuts Gang shake it like a
Polaroid picture. (Do they still make those?)
2:18 Somehow, I don't see Shroeder and
Lucy as putting two and two together.
2:19 Snoppy dances on the piano. Pig Pen
on the Cello.
2:20 Charlie goes outside to plant the
freaking tree.
2:21 Shroeder and Lucy just stare at
Snoopy until he stops dancing. Then Lucy makes
her move.
Credits "Used without permission.
Please don't sue us. venisproductions.com "
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED
REINDEER - CSI NORTH POLE
The Jam gun shoots The Abominal
Snowman. "Grraaaaa... AHHHHHHH!"
2:22 Lots of blood. Intro video of the
cast. "CSI: North Pole"
Who Done it. Feline "I figure
you're the ice man, from the FBI?" Snowman "Ice man?
2:23 "Something about this little doll..
was worth dying for."
Little girl doll is jealous.. and
creepy.
2:24 Another parody trailer, from the
CBS EYELAB!
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: MINI MONSTERS DR JECKL AND
MR CLAWS
Only the first 5 seconds or so "It
has come to my attention, that..." (CUT!)
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: DANCE OF THE SUGAR PLUM
FAIRY - PIANO by BUCKTOWNTIGER
Piano performance of Pyotr Ilich
Tchaikovsky, in a fursuit!
2:25 Tetris doom music! Piano is
flawless, inspite of keying with paws.
2:26 Bucktown takes a bow, then
waves!
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO (pant) TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE
CHRISTMAS - EVEN A MIRACLE NEEDS A HAND
From the animated Christmas
Special. Cue the song.
"Don't expect a miracle.. unless
you help it.. to be.." Rankin Bass, Hobbit folks
2:27 SUDDEN CUT, on to .. the NEXT
video..
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: DAMN IT I'm VIXEN ANIMATED
CHRISTMAS CARTOON.MPG
Somewhat less traditional. Vixen (a
guy reindeer?) does a song in a stand-up
comedy bar populated by elves,
wearinly only a shirt and looking middle aged.
Rudolph's famous. "When he walks in
the place.. everyone knows his face, he always
sleeps with the prettiest
doe.."
Vixen starts to rant, holding
nothing back. "So let's get one thing clear, I'm
MORE than just a deer.. I'm
part of the Original Eight!"
"DAMN IT, I'M 'VIXEN'!" kicks over
the mic stand with a hoof. "I'm I'm FIXIN
to kick some reindeer
booty.."
2:28 "Damn it I'm Vixen.. and this
Christmas Song is for me.."
SUDDEN CUT (What? WHY?) Next
video..
-------------------------------------------
VIDEO: DOG STUCK TO A FIRE HYDRANT
(Can't find?)
Cartoon dog sees a kid with his
tongue stuck to a pole "HALP!" Dog laughs.
Dog passes a fire hydrant, blinks,
stops and looks at it, then gets a sneaky idea.
Lifts a leg, pees... "Ahhh..."
Freeze. Crunch. Blinks again. Tugs. "Ah.. NUTS!"
Chatters "Try not to freeze your
winky off this winter!"
Visit Sugarqube.com for Animated
Greeting cards, etc
(The website closed down, they're now
at:
------------------------------------------
VIDEO: "TRANSFORMERS!!!"(jk) THAT
SNOWMISER, HEATMISER THING
"I'm Mister White Christmas.. I'm
Mr. Snow.. I'm Mr. Icicle.. I'm Mr. 10 below.."
Etc.
(You know what, they came out with a new
version in 2008, for "A Miser Brother's
Christmas". It's more combat intensive.
I'll go with Obama and say Change is good.)
------------------------------------------
VIDEO: T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE
CHRISTMAS, "GIVE YOUR HEART A TRY"
Spectical nerd mouse learning
"There's more to the world that meets they eye."
2:32 Clip is accelerated, moving fast.
Believing what you can't see.
2:33 Moves from super-fast to very, very
slow. Is the console doing that?
Weird alient reverberations o_o.
Calling the mothership?
Mouse gets eaten by four-leaf
clover.
------------------------------------------
2:34 VIDEO: SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S TV
FUNHOUSE PRESENTS: A PEANUTS CHRISTMAS
(Wow, this video is being hunted down.
If you can find it anywhere, grab it!)
Warped version of the classic.
After fixing the Tree, the gang realizes they
can fix *ANYTHING* just by
surrounding it and waving their arms.
Lucy "You blockhead, this whole
time we could have been making money!"
2:35 Charlie Brown wants them to set
everything back. "What about the REAL
Meaning of
Christmas?!"
Shroeder gets turned into the
Beattles?
Linus thinks the lesbians are a bad
idea, recites some verses.
Lucy "YOU BLOCKHEAD!" Linus
calls down lighting, blasting the golden calf
by the swimming
pool.
2:36 A few things left to change. Tom
Browkaw gets turned into Brad Pitt.
Group photo "MERRY CHRISTMAS
EVERYONE!" they start singing while Brad
does the news.
-------------------------------------
VIDEO: "CHRISTMAS IS MY TIME OF
YEAR" by the Monkees.
Beattles wananbees try looking for
a tree, trying out bicycles.
2:37 Men hugging, carrying each other on
their shoulders. It gets cut.
-------------------------------------
VIDEO: VIDEO: VIDEO: Rasvar's
pushing buttons again.
-------------------------------------
2:38 VIDEO: SOME CRAZY ANIME THING?
"Chinese Christmas Song.. BUFFALAXED!"
"Jingle Bells.. In Chinese.. this
is Obviously not a translation!"
***NSFW*** lyrics as happy happy
joy joy cartoon kids enjoy a sleigh ride!
Fun with deliberate
mistranslations.
Famous tune! Everyone sing with the
Children's Chorus!
"Poop a cup of
shit!"
".. and sauce the sister
shop!.."
".. high bitch she workin
here!.."
".. watching you push
mop!.."
"Marlene shes sucking
cock!.."
".. here season low priced
ham..."
".. Come sink my bus, the chef,
i love I'm marching on a child!"
****BLUE SCREEN EMERGENCY VIDEO
CUT**** (Yep, it's very, very, very dead.)
(I did manage to find the real,
non-corrupted version. It does, however, have fewer hits.)
-------------------------------------
Rasvar tries something else..
pushes more buttons.
-------------------------------------
VIDEO: JINGLE BELLS! BIZARRE
ANIMATRONIC SHOWCASE
Robot Bear "It's
ChristsmaAAAaaAAaaaaAAASSS!" Robot snowman "WooooAH!"
Robot santa shows off his butt. Mrs
Claus is preganant?
2:39 Super frantic high-energy sugar
penguins, dwarves, kissing front lawn reindeer.
Another video cut.
-------------------------------------
VIDEO: INDIAN (as in, India) JINGLE
BELLS
A very Eastern style take on the
traditional Christmas song, even though it's
still in English. Cartoon Santa
wonders where the snow came from?
2:40 The rocking horse bull doesn't seem
pleased to have the Fat Man and 2 girls on
his back. HEY!
---------------------------------
VIDEO: DOGS DECORATING CHRISTMAS
TREE! "A DOGGY CHRISTMAS SURPRISE" from Hungary
RL dogs gets a head start on the
Christmas decorations. Sort of.
They actually do get ornaments on
the tree! Nice.
2:42 No way.. a dog climbs a LADDER to
put on some tinsel?
Dog puts the presents under the
tree, and only play with them a -LITTLE-.
Dog waits for their humans to
return, read to surprise them!
"We wish you a Merry
Christmas!"
---------------------------------
VIDEO: CAFFEINATED
XMAS
2:44 Super high-speed time-lasp
photograph of decorating a Christmas Tree.
Music "Dark Disguise" by Solar
Powered People.
---------------------------------
AND NOW.. BACK TO OUR REGULAR
PROGRAMMING...
2:45 Poink "And there's the kitchen!"
people wave, having received foodages.
Herbie "(deep) Everyone is
Eating..."
Back to the stage. Rasvar
"Everything is backwards from before.." Poink "I noticed
Poink Ohs! "It's Christmas." laser
eyes flash at you "Anyway :)"
Herbie thanks Blitz for the German
Stew.
Mutt "Didn't sober me up a bit,
though." KP "Do you know what TIME it is?"
Mutt "Cause it's German stew..
what time is it?" Ras votes for Howdy Doodie.
KP "I think it's time.. for a
Pawpet Gift Exchange!"
Poink "We wish you some hairy
fish nuts, we wish.."
7 Castmembers, 7 Gifts. One person
to Pick them All.
2:46 White Elephant time, take one, or
steal another! Poink "The person who gets #1
gets to go #2!"
Mutt is having a Rich Food induced
slumber. Poink "If you think it's bad now,
wait till the Holidays.." Mutt
zzzzzzz
Bandit's eating the helicopter
while people debate.
2:47 KITCHEN CAM, Yappy goes first, #4.
Ying Yang get "E!" "3" Ras "He has number E!"
Bandit hides? Rasvar "Ah, poor
Bandit.. he's hiding under the.."
Ras suddenly coughs as Herbie gets
#7 "Wha..? OH! *coughs* GOOD GOD!"
2:48 This time, it really WAS the dog?
Ras thinks it was Bandit or JR.
JR "Bandit.. GOD DAMN!
*coughs*" Escapes into the kitchen.
-0:00 KP "AH! The KRYSTAL
BURGERS!"
JR is #2 (insert joke here) Rasvar
is #6! (Insert TV's "The Prisoner" joke here)
Blitz is #1 (Sphere-inflated
animals bounce around, growling, and attack people)
2:49 Blitz goes first, while a faction
votes to get Bandit out of the house.
Mutt "He's gonna poop on the
carpet!"
Bandit returns, and sits on POINK.
JR "Get off Poink.. Get off Poink.. GET OFF
POINK...!" Ezra tells Bandit to
butt-scoot. "He has Poink in a head-lock!"
2:50 Blitz opens a bottle of Manachevitz
wine. Poink "By the way, here's what's
going on in front of the
stage."
Black screen. Then Bandit dutifully sitting on Poink, looking
up curiously.
Ras pushes more buttons. For a
moment, a Nutcracker glares back at you, evilily.
2:51 JR *IS* #2, and has the control. He
tosses the number card back to KP. KP "Ah!
Right in the mouth!" JR "That's
not the FIRST TIME that's been said!"
Yin Yang ews. JR opens a box from
Yappy.. "You have gotta be kidding me.. this
is NOT what I think it
is..?"
KP "You just got a roll of toilet
paper!" "No.. that would be useful.."
2:52 Opening the box takes some power
tools. Yappy "This is probably something that
will get stolen from you.. it's
a Kenwick D7 battery charger."
Bandit's not finished yet. Poink is
doomed. Ras OUGHS!
JR isn't impressed? Mutt "Don't you
have any D7 batteries?" "My adult toys' gottem
YinYang's puppetter Brace Bear asks
Blitz if
he's a wine drinker? Blitz
shrugs. "He doesn't know if he's a wine drinker,
so I'm going to help him out
and steal the wine."
2:53 Rasvar pushes buttons, then jumps
as LOUD applause reverberated through the stereo
Brace chugs wine for the camera.
Blitz goes for another cylinder.
Danny Dingo sends in more Christmas
Carols on a card. Blitz opens his present
to find.. "What IS that?" JR
"It's a BONG!"
Mutt "Holey Smokes! I want it!"
Nope, it's a lamp?
2:54 Chimey music plays in the
background. Sonic God says Merry Christmas in message.
Yappy's turn. Tries to figure out
of Herbie's gift is chicken bones.
Mutt "It's not chicken bones! I
swear!.. It's turkey bones!"
Yappy doesn't want any chicken
bones. "It's NOT chicken bones, it's funny!" "Funny
to you :P" "It's funny to
Everybody, and TOPICAL!"
2:55 Yappy passses, Mutt still assures
him "It's not chicken bones.. that was last
year."
Yappy suspects they're Green,
Neoprene shorts? Rasvar suddenly starts cackling
as Yappy tries to identify
it.
Lincoln-Berries, from IKEA!
Yappy "What the hell are
Lincoln-Berries?"
2:56 KP is #5. Rasvar "We made an IKEA
run yesterday."
KP takes the large, flat envelope.
"Free Buffet at CC's pizza.."
2:57 Bandit Farts AGAIN! JR "... GOD
DAMMIT!..." Rasvar "He's fartin' all over Poink!"
KP gets a Chuck Norris TShirt!
People WOO! KP "I don't need a weapon.."
Mutt "... I *AM*
one!"
Rasvar *IS* #6. "I'm taking the
charger!" A man in control of his own destiny.
JR has to go get something else. He
is now.. the New #2.
JR steals the wine. The heck
with #1. Rasvar "DARNIT!"
2:58 Brace (YinYing's puppeteer) gets to
pick something else now. Goes for a new one.
A collection of Christmas Cups,
and a Corky Rudolph.
Mutt #7 steals the booze! JR steals
the roll of quarters?
Brace gets to chose again, gets
Danish Cookies. Bottles tops you can put on
soda cans to keep the
carbonation in?
3:00 #1 has the final say. Blitz must
choose between his IKEA lamp.. and anything else.
Elects not to steal Yappy's
berries.
3:01 Christmas music intensifies for The
Final Choice. Goes for the wine.
KP "I'm glad I got that.. that
went around more than anything!"
Herbie returns from outside, to
find himself stuck with the IKEA Bong lamp.
3:02 Herbie arghs, no more wine tonight.
Yappy "Why? This lamp was MADE for you!"
Poink sings a chord of the IKEA
song.
3:03 Merry Chrismtas music of peace and
love. Hugh returns, blinged out in 60's gear?
Hugh talks about peace and love
as angels sing "It is time.. for forgiveness"
Ezra "We forgive you for existing."
(Angels sing) Hugh "Bandit, forgive me for
farting and blaming it on you."
Round of laughs. Mutt "I.. KNEW IT!"
Hugh "I was.. flatulent." Mutt "He
flippered." "Flipflipflipflip.. I look gay."
KP "You ARE gay." Ras cackles.
Hugh "I look Liberache gay!"
Ezra "You are a flaming homosexual
ManeTTE." "Yes ^_^" Man on Manette action?
(Angels keep singing) Last call for
art jams. Stagehand gives Hugh a cape.
3:04 QUESTION TO CHANNEL: FAVORITE
CHRISTMAS FOOD? And roll-call?
Rasvar "(low and sinister)
EGG-NOG..."
Mutt reads channel answers.
"turkey-minced-pie-beer-pastries-*PUSSY*-?..."
Tamales, coleslaw, lasagna,
enchaladas, cream rolls, ham, ham, ham...
Mutt "I like the green-bean
cassarole that KP makes." KP ohs "I'll make some
for Christmas Day." Hugh votes
for Sauteed mushrooms. Mutt yucks, plans to
buy pumpkin pie.
3:05 Apple pie, lemon pie. Mutt tries
out the lamp. Wow "That is.. definitely.. a
lamp." Ezra wants to put fringe
and a high-heel on it, Christmas Story style.
Tacky Xmas presents. Mutt "You
know, I've never been to Ikea?" Hugh "WE have."
Rasvar swears they went there just
for the meatballs. Mutt actually did go to
one "I wanted to buy a CUP.
They don't SELL a plastic CUP in the entire
store!" Rasvar nods "They sell
FURNITURE! They don't sell cups :)"
3:06 Others chim in, they do, but only
glass cups. Mutt "What the hell kind of IKEA
is this?.."
Rasvar sees a room at IKEA, ohs.
"This looks nice." Hugh uhuhs "This looks like
what would happen if a guy in a
trailer park got money!"
Mutt "I thought IKEA was just a
giant home department from Walmart?" Hugh "It's
not even that good." "You'd
find cups.."
Still, gotta love the meatballs. No
more hour waits either. Lincoln berries.
3:07 Hugh shows people Lincolnberries,
or threatens to.
Rasvar "Hey, I followed the rules.
Supposed to be less than ten bucks."
Ezra "Less than -$20-." Ras
ohs.. laughs maniacly.
Stagehand holds up Lincoln Berries
for your perusal.
Mutt goes into more Christmas
messages.
3:08 Lots of people say Merry Christmas.
"Steal the Kenwick D7 battery charger for me!"
Ezra has an annoucement about
Yappy's schedule. "He's solidified his schedule
for next year.." Mutt yays!
"He's employed!"
Pawpet Show will be starting one
hour later with new schedule to reflect when
Yappy can get
there.
Channel spammer gets kicked. Ezra
continues, were afraid show might have to go
off the air if Yappy had to
take a second shift, glad his new schedule
allows the show to
continue.
Working 4 to Midnight and only
having Tuesday and Wednesday off would suck.
3:10 Next year, things start at 6PM
Eastern.
Poink "(preacher-like) Everybody in
channel.. join me in a quick verse of Yappy's
favorite song.. just to
celebrate." inhales "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh
Christmas Tree.. Yappy works
for Dosh-bags."
(Angels are still singing) Mutt
"What about the Rapid T-Rabbit and Radiolawn
shows?" FPS won't be streaming
them, but something's in the works.
Mutt yays for time-slot
competition! Show still four hours long.
3:11 Mutt "So it'll go from 6 to... 10?
Whew.. almost got a 9 in there."
Ezra "SIX to NINE Dude! WEEEW!"
ducks down, taking the red hyrant with him.
Other shows pushed ahead too. Mutt
"How LONG does this show GO?" Poink "Our show
or their show?" Mutt "Well,
it's like this big network of shows.."
Poink notes they're the NBC of
Furry. Mutt "Do I need a TV Guide?.."
(That might help, I dont know the
show lineup either o_o)
6-10 Pawpet Show
10-11 The Sonic God Radio
Uniferse
Yappy "You forgot, there's like
four shows BEFORE us." Mutt "I don't know
any of these shows.. I don't
watch this show."
3:12 Wolf's radio show. Mutt "So we're
listening to.. what?" Yappy "It's just radio."
Back and forth. KP finally
calls it Wolf Radio. Mutt "Thank you KP!"
Channel doesn't all know the shows
either.
(I *think* this is the lineup before the
show, but I usually link to the FPS Watch
page, wish there was a button or
something with the whole hourly lineup)
Most channel people chime in 'No'
for knowing what shows are on and when.
3:13 Wolf's radio show. "That starts
at?" Yappy "Undetermined time."
Radiolawn. Possibly taking a break?
Undetermined.
Rapid T Rabbit, streamed by someone
else. Poink "And just for those people that
don't know, Rapid T Rapid is a
show featuring a rabbit." 5:30-6:00
Yappy notes that's up in the
air too.
All that's sure is that FPS is
moving, and the shows behind it are moving too.
Rasvar "This show is the
guerilla in the room, all the others have to move
around it."
Mutt "Nobody else matters, just
Pawpet! Shove your.. throw your computer out the
window as soon as our show is
off!"
3:14 Megaplex gets pushed around by
other cons, what goes around..
Poink "I just want to clarify
something.. Rasvar? You're the big guerilla in
the room."
Yappy notes the other shows go on
until 2am "I'm in bed by 9:30!"
Mutt keeps whispering subliminal
messages in the background "Only our show
matters.. no one
cares.."
Poink looks up "You're like a
demonic Jimminy Cricket! 'I want to donate
to the church..
-getahookergetahookergetahooker-.. I want to donate.."
Fun with subliminal messages. KP
"Buyanlcdtv! Buyanlcdtv!" Mutt "buyadvdplayer.."
"hideff..hideff.." Sound clip
"SHUT UP YOU FOOL!!" YinYang "Give it to Mach.."
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WE CAN
TRUST.......(growing drama).......**THEM**??"
Ren and Stimpy finish. Mutt
"...bluray..."
Chillimouse has a show too, lots of
shows. (Just don't know when they're on?)
3:15 Sarek DJ's. Mutt notes they still
don't know when and where to find them?
Poink "They may go to DVD
only."
Poink notes, after the comments
they made tonight, Yappy might be filling up
Pudding Cups anyway. Poink "He
may be working for Bill Cosby!"
Poink "This is probably gonna
hurt.. someone keeps asking.. what is YAP TV?"
Ezra "YAP TV is the time Yappy uses
to test BEFORE the Radio Lawn."
Rasvar "That will be
canceled.." Yappy "Well, maybe not.."
3:16 Yappy "It's Music Video, it's like
MTV." Rasvar "Are you still showing that
Bollywood kit video you used to
show all the time?" People blank.
Ezra "So Rasvar watches it!" Rasvar
"No, No! You gotta remember.. who was always
here in the house, when he was
already playing it?" Ezra "NOT ME!"
Yappy notes show would start at
six.. he MAY get home at five, but traffic is
variable.
3:17 Blitz lives there now. "He can let
us in!" Poink "You see, it's not the same as
it was with Rasvar.. *Blitz*
has already admitted that he's a human being,
and he has rights.." Rasvar
cackles. Poink "The thing with Rasvar.. it took
a long time to train him.. but
when he finally did, basically what would
happen is Yappy would leave a
sandwich on the board, and then Rasvar would
take it, it would flip a
switch, and it would start to show!" Rasvar lols.
"And Blitz has said 'I have
dignity' and he won't do it."
Rasvar's laughs sound almost
tearfull. Poink "I'm riding with Ras.. I'm SO dead."
People not. Yappy notes Rasvar
was used to Windows! Poink "And back in
Ras's day we had computers made
of Legos!"
Ezra "POINK! You still DO have a
computer made of Legos!" Yappy notes the
Amiga used to fall apart in
pieces like that if you punch the side.
(Somewhere, Eric Schwartz gathers
an army of Transformers) Rasvar "We had
THESE GUYS!" holds up an old
Amiga for ridicule.
3:18 Or is it a Compac? Poink "That's
what we had, the Compac pizza box." Rasvar "The
Com-cracks. DANG, this thing
weight a TON!"
Yappy notes that more and more of
the devices he has to repair.. "And double-side
sticky-tapped to the bottom of
these, are sheets of LEAD. They put LEAD in
devices nowadays to make them
HEAVIER! Go buy a $2 phone from Kmart, and you
think 'Wow, that's a nice
phone!' until you take it home and take it apart
and find that it has steel
plates in it, to make it HEAVY enough, so it stays
on the counter when you pick
the handset up and walk away and the cord
springs.. so you don't pull the
think off the counter!"
Poink "Simba's in channel!" Rasvar
"... OH!!" Poink "Don't. You. DARE!"
Ras "Hey SIMBA!" Poink "He's
gonna run that video.." "Hey Simba, Simba,
Simba.. we have some VIDEO!"
Poink "I'm dead.. I'm DEAD! I'm DEADI'mDEADI'm.."
3:19 Rasvar "SIMBA! *JR* says he found a
VIDEO of YOU while you were SNOWBOARDING!"
Mutt and Ezra and Ying Yang
"YEAH!!" Poink "I'M DEEEAAD!!" runs
----------------------------
VIDEO: "SIMBA" SNOWBOARD JUMPS INTO
A WALL
----------------------------
Ezra "(To Simba) JR not only said
it was you, but he ran it several times!
Mutt "We played it again, and
again.." Rasvar "Oh, we wanna do it AGAIN!!??"
Mutt "Can you loop
it? I love looping it."
Ezra has a sad annoucement to make
"I went to Target.." Mutt "That is sad."
Ezra picked up a Battleship game,
different now? Single double-sided board,
when you put pegs in one side,
it knocks out the other side.
3:21 New version of Battleship is hard
to play, pieces keep getting knocked out.
Milton Bradly goes
cheapo.
Poink assures people the Snowboard
Crasher isn't Simba.
3:22 Poink "We actualy do have a video
of Simba though.. that guy was on skis. We just
like to mess with Simba because
it's fun."
Folks want the real vid, but Rasvar
lost the video! "You just HAD it!" "I closed
everything!" Ezra "Why do you
close things you're about to open??" "You
said it was too
long!"
but find Scott in it
and show him!" Rasvar urghs. "Urrk Kay fine.."
Mutt "Two Scotts and a cup!"
Rasvar brings up the video on
Youtube.
-----------------------
VIDEO: KILLINGTON WEEKEND '09.
Ronin Otter, Simba and friends go skiing.
Halley, keyboardist a
Megaplex.
Simba gets strapped into his
snowboard. "This is your third day skiing, at all?"
Simba "Ever." "Ever?" "On a
mountain, ever." "The white stuff your sitting on?
We call that
snow."
3:23 "Snowboarder..snowboarder,
snowboarder, snowboarder, snowboarder.. Impatient
Person, and (kids ski out) and
Remote Control micro-skiers."
Ronin waves.
Skiing cam.. activated! It's all
downhill from here.
Faster.. faster... FASTER... side
to side... "You're watching, ESPN WEEKEND!"
People MST3K it "I hear wind!"
"Zzzzrrroooowwww!"
3:24 Improvised sound effects blur with
real ones.
Jess cam! "And there is Jess!"
"Yay, Jess!" Poink "Our favorite pecker!"
Simba's catching his breath,
shot of lodge in background.
Halley "You look so
Dramatical." Simba waves his arms and stuff.
Poink notes the video is pretty
long "But we did want to prove that Simba actually
does know how to
snowboard."
Mutt "What's the difference between
a Hotel and a Lodge?" Poink "Ah.. one stays
crispy in milk."
3:25 Snowboarder turns, heading right
for the tree in front of the camera on a
kamikazi run. Poink "Thank you,
Simba, for being a good sport." Mutt "BOOOSH!"
Snowboarder turns at last
second.
-------------------------
Poink gives Simba Merry Christmas
"Even though he was preoccupied, and could not
be here tonight." Mutt pops up
"He's out having FUN! Enjoying his life. He
realizes there's only two years
left.. Hey what's the date today?"
2012 is around the corner. Poink
stares "(Simba) ARE YOU IRCing on your
SNOWBOARD!?"
December 20, 2009. Mutt "So
tomorrow is the 21st? Then -tomorrow- is Two Years
Left." Nobody commissioned the
Aztec guy to make a new calendar, so everything
ends. Support the arts
people.
Poink notes channel is still
calling for Roll call "Do we have time?"
Rasvar waits "Three years!" 2010,
2011, 2012. Mutt ohs "We've got a long wait!
I can't wait that
long!"
Poink "They want roll call." Ezra
"We're not gonna DO rollcall this week, so
there, NYAH!" Mutt "Meme Me
MEEEH."
Rasvar "FINE.. you want ROLL CALL?
I'll give you Fricken ROLL CALL.."
3:26 OH NOs! Poink "You've unleashed the
Beast!" Mutt "You unleashed the Fail Whale!"
(Angels singing) Rasvar "ALRIGHT!
Here we go.."
Rasvar freezes the channel names,
then starts reading them in REVERSE. "Zorro,
Ziggy..." People
"aaAAAAHHHH!"
3:27 Rasvar hehes "I'm gonna mangle all
your names.." Yin Yang mimics him speaking.
Rasvar sees himself in channel.
"WHAT? Who the hell is using my name.."
3:28 "Kuddlepoop..." OOPS! Rasvar tries
to keep going, but keeps laughing.
3:29 Mutt "sssERVED!" "Kira, Showshaw,
'ICantreadrollcall' Yeah you're darn RIGHT.."
Rasvar finds EagleBeagle in
channel "Hey, what are you doin..?"
Don'tTaseMeBro, DominicTheDonkey
"EEE HHHAA, EE HAA!"
3:30 Finds BeagleEagle. Nice
touch.
AnthroDiceClay? "AYouAllSUCK,
ATheEnd, AItAgain, AStarWarsHollywoodSpecial,
ARasvarFailsAtRead, AChristian,
AAAzztophasgreatlegs, Pipe and Console!"
People Yay! "There yah
go."
3:31 Mutt "Roll-call's never been read
backwards before, ever!"
Art Jam time! Mutt "Let's erase all
the drawings.. do it backwards!"
Rasvar "It's Art Jam time!?
YAPpy!!" Poink "He's laying down with his dog, be nice
Rasvar "Yeah, but I don't show
how he does the Art Jams anymore." "YaPPY!"
Mutt oks "He's in bed with Bandit?
Gross!" Ras "Let's put it this way, if I
did Art Jams, I'd probably blow
up the computer."
Pros and Cons. Poink "Well Bandit
was lonely." "Yeah, but still.."
Ezra "Bandit got tired of
chewing on the helicopter!" Mutt "Bandit wasn't
THAT drunk, was he?.. to lower
himself?... sleep with YAPPY?..."
Poink "Well, you're assuming
something.." rethinkings "I'm not gonna say it, I'm
gonna get hit." Ezra "You're
gonna get hit ANYWAY!" "I'm not gonna say it.."
(Angels singing) Cold night? Poink
"It is a cold night. If you've got a pet, do
what I do.. set them on
fire."
3:32 "They'll keep you warm for days,AND
run around the house!" Mutt giggles nervously
Lighting the Christmas
Cat.
Rasvar still doesn't know why the
tree isn't falling over.
Simba reads rollcall in order
people -join- the channel. Poink "You're reading
the next time you're
here!"
Poink notes "If anybody can do it,
Simba can do it." Mutt "He can do anything!"
---------------
ART JAMS!
Bandit gets some doggies wipes.
Real item?
3:33 Poink "Do not use them on a stray
dog.. use them on a pet that knows you.
"Poink T. Ferret FPS: A CHRISTMAS
STORY" Poink's spectral head in a tophat is
rising out of the toilet,
everything bathes in an errie red glow.
Mutt "Awesome." Poink "I was
proud of that thing ^_^"
GARRISON SKUNK'S TOP FORTY THINGS
PEOPLE SAID IN CHANNEL TODAY
Cast members take turns reading
them.
40. <Methitis_Reinskunk>
Rasvar eating, no watching channel
39. <ColinDaRedNosedFoxtail>
SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID(TM) PICTURE!
38. <Reese_Tora> Wow.. most
furries DO dance like the cast of Peanuts, all teh
basic dance moves are there
:<
37. <BassMan> Oh my God! They
killed Yeti! You bastards!
36. <Sawblade5> Gong this and
I'll beat you up
35. <Stray_Cat> You're a dude
named Vixen?
34. <DL_Leonine> seperated at birth? Heat Miser
and Coah McGirk from Home Movies.
33. <Kamikun> I preferred
Snow Miser, but Heat Miser is ok.
Poink adds ".. in
bed!"
32. <Calbeck> A Very Al Gore
Christmas.
Poink "Meaning that the
environment's screwed.."
31. <Fillyjonk> Goodbye
lesbians... Mutt "In bed."
30. <Calbeck> The Bible is
all fun and games until someone gets turned to salt.
Mutt "In bed."
29. <Mouser> The are your
Christmas decorations. These are your Christmas
decorations on drugs. Any
questions? .. in bed. "In bed."
28. <Colley> .. you skip the
Scrubs Xmas parody for THIS?" ".. in BED?"
27. <XypherWolf> You can't
gond this; it has puppies in it! "in Bed!"
26. <The_Lizard_Rat> For some
reason I can see Liesl dancing on a polt to this o.O
Mutt takes the risk "In
bed." Poink "Thank you!"
25. "That stew didn't sober me up
at all.." Ying Yang "In bed!"
24 "The guy who has #1 can go #2..
in bed!" Ying "In bed!" Mutt "EW!"
23 "Yappy just hit his
you-know-whats with the cattle prod." Poink almost isn't
able to finish the "in
bed!" part.
22 "Oh, sure, blame it on the
dog." Everyone "IN BED.."
21 "That's dog talk for "I WANT
OUT" Is he pooping, or reading the paper?
Three people "In
Bed!"
20 <Caroline> WHY AREN'T THE
PUPPIES PLAYING POKER!?! Rasvar "In bed!"
19 "DON'T YOU HAVE KENWOOD 7D
BATTERIES!?!" Laughing "In BED?"
18 "I know who sent that. Its
chicken bones and lard! It's funny and TOPICAL!
"IN BED" "..in
bed!"
17 "He wants some six.. sure it's
not nine?" "IN BED!"
16 "You can steal Yappy's
Linganberries!" "In Bed!" "In Bedhhh..(laughs)"
15 "Ok, Mutt you can pick a gift
or steal one. He's going for the booze, folks."
"In bed!"
14 "Bandit, forgive me for farting
and blaming you." "IN BED!" Hahahaha
13 "I'll trade you mu pumpkins for
your mushrooms."In bed!..well that's a bargain
12 "Yes......that's a
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamp." "In bed!"
11 "Man on Manatee action in
bed!"
10 "No plastic cups!?! What the
hell kinda IKEA is this?!?! "In bed" Weird.
9 <Hest> Danish meatballs
beat swedish meatballs. Jus' so ya'll know :P "In bed"
(The angels are STILL
SINGING!)
8 "Here, let me show Yappy's
lingenberries on camera." "In Bed!"
7 "We're like the NBC of
furries." etc
6 "Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas
tree, Oh Yappy works for douchbags."
Multiple people sing, crack
up at the In Bed.
5 "No one else matters, JUST
PAWPET!" "in bed!"
4 "So.. our show will be a 6
to.....ni-TEN! Almost got a nine in there." IN BED!
3 "You're like a demonic Jimminy
Cricket!" In bed.
2 "Just to let those who don't
know.. The Rapid T. Rabbit Show" is a show..
about a rabbit." Everyone
"IN BED!"
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ON THE
SHOW TONIGHT:
1 <Mouser> When did Chrismtas
specieal become mortal duels between D&D
elemental planes? IN BED
and..
1 "I Love Loopin it!" IN BED
"And.."
1 <A_YouAllJustLostTheGame>
You sound like a drunk jewish elder dude. "IN BED!"
Poink "AND NUMBER ONE
WAS!.."
1 "Yappy's lying down with Bandit,
leave him alone." "... IN BED!!!" "YAY!""
3:36 Poink "It's Christmas, IN
BED!"
Poink "From Milton Bradley!" "YOU
SUCK!!" "IN BED!!!!"
Kangaroo dives into a stocking,
looking for porn. "I found the porn! Sniff Sniff
Yappy?! DID YOU WASH THAT
SOCK!?" "..IN BED!!"
Ezra inflates like a giant
butterball. "XMAS DINNER WAS GOOD TO YA, HUH?"
Group photo! "Have a Merry
Christmas!!" Caroline "IN BEEEEED!!!" Bandit squeeks
Fudgy the Reindeer's Dead Air Timer
This Week: "1 min 58 seconds."
"Just blame Rasvar! :P"
Everyone "IN BED!!!"
Fudgy's Channel GONG Counter - 97
Gongs this week "IN BED!!!!"
Fugdy "The FPS Rasvar On Console
Rating:
We rated Rasvar on 3
things:
Figuring out the console:
9/10
Resolving problems:
9.5/10
General Running of Console:
9/10
Yappy or Rasvar on Console?: Yappy
but also Rasvar
Would We let him back?:
Yes!
Poink "The Funday Pawpet show..
Blah Blah o_O"
Ezra "Ok, you folks read ALL of
that..." (Drum roll) "IN BED!!!!!!!!!"
CHANNEL LAG COUNTER: LOTS "IN
BED!!!!!!!!!!"
Bandit eating the
Helicopter
"Bandit... IN
BED!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pencil drawings for A Pawpet
Christmas Carol, taking a moment to study.
"It's.." "IN BED!!!" ".. it's our
characters from the Poink Christmas!" "IN BED!"
Inked version this time. "And there
it is again!" Pause "IN BED!!!!!!!!"
A Christmas card with a barcode?
Long read. Quality Guarnateed!
LET'S PLAY: Who's that silhouette
at Yappy's Fridge? Looks like Alfred Hitchock?
"IN BED!...?"
Ezra runs hell-belt away from the
helicopter, as a manical Bitch Voop controls it
"Nooooooononononono... IN
BED!!!!!...."
A canine boy scout jumps toward
Santa's lap, while Santa holds up his hands to
shield himself. Is he going to
poot?
"No art jam tonight, trying to
finish my Christmas Comic, Here's a preview if
anyone wants to see.. "IN BED!"
..Merry Christmas FPS.. in bed."
3:39 Yappy sings "Somebody farted in
Santa's lap.." Ezra "I.. farted in Santa's lap."
Poink "I.. farted in Santa's
mouth." Ezra "In bed?" "In bed."
Kitchen Cam. Poink "That was it,
and there is Rasvar's head."
Mutt, Ezra, Poink and Ying Yang all
on stage. "So, we're almost done with the
show?" "In bed!" "And we're 5
days away from Christmas.." "In bed!"
Poink "And now we're gonna do the
shout-outs!" "IN BED!!"
Yappy "Ok.. shout outs.." "IN
BED!!!"
Yappy recites "MST3K went off the
air due to the cast's own decisions, not
because they were in the
negative side of ratings." "IN BED!"
Mutt "Then why did they do
Rifftracks?" "IN BED!!"
Who cares if it doesn't make
any sense? People are laughing. Angels sing.
People recover for a moment.
Poink "... IN BED!" they start laughting again.
Yappy "Hey guys, just wanted to
wish you a Merry CHristmas and a Happy New Year,
from Rebel Reptile." "IN
BED!!!"
3:40 Mutt considers "I'm going to go to
sleep.." "IN BED!!!"
"Hey FPS crew, this is WolfFox09's
mate saying this: He told me to tell you guys
that he's dropped under 2 feet
of snow on Long Island, and will not make
the Christmas Show. Peace to
you guys, and Ezra... 'it may be a bad idea'"
"IN BED!!!!" Ezra "WHAT
would be a bad idea..?"
Apoc says "I hope you have a very
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, to
everyone watching I wish the
same to you. PS. Dear Mr. Jackrabbit and Mr.
Yappyfox I'm wondering if it's
ok (take a breath) if I place a -link- to
Mr. Jackrabbit's Poinkcast and
to the Pawpet show on a website such as mine,
as favorite links catagory.."
"IN BED!!!!"
People nods. Poink "You are
more than welcome to do so." Mutt "In bed."
Poink "Mater of fact, send me your
informarion I'll help plug you." "In bed."
Yappy "Wishing you all Merry
Crumble and Happy New Year" Poink waits "I'm NOT
gonna -plug- this person in
bed.."
3:41 "Season's Greetings to one and
all!.." "IN BED!" Yappy continues ".. your friends
at the Walnut Gallery.." "IN
BED!"
More seasons greetings, and things
to do in bed.
Guy turns 23 on the 22nd. "IN BED!"
Mutt "Don't.. don't.." Ezra makes a show of
farting. "AAHHHHH..." In
bed.
Mutt starts beating Ezra with a
pink loofa. On stage.
"In Bed" becomes every third word.
The angels are STILL singing..
3:42 "You guys suck! Just kidding! -
Whitepaw (3..2..) Someone distanst goes "in bed."
Mutt starts.. DOING things to
Ezra.. just have to watch it.. I don't know what.
Mutt and Ezra are now both joined
at the neck by fuzzy handcuffs? They play
tug-of-war. People
cackle.
"Tiger Woods was hitting another
eight holes on the side.." Struggle continues.
Finally, at long last, THE TREE
FALLS OVER. Rasvar YAYS! Yappy "Oh MAN!"
Mutt and Ezra fall behind the
stage.
Stagehand tries to right the tree,
but it stays dead. FINISH IT! Dododo...
Yappy arghs! "I basicly have.. too
many.. shout outs to air! We're not even
through a quarter of them.. so
if you wanna see the Shout Outs, they're on
the Website!"
3:43 Mutt "SCREW YU!!!" Poink "IN
BED!!!"
Yappy hahs "Because I won't get
through them with *THIS* Cast!" "SCREW YU!!!"
"IN BED!!!!"
Mutt goes old school hiphop "You
mean NUTHIN! We dan't work for YU! You don't
own us! *I'M AN ADULT*!!!"
Laughter "IN BED!"
Ezra "And if you're an ADULT,
don't touch me there!!"
Rasvar "We killed.." Mutt "I TUUK
YOUR SHOUTOUTS AND THRUW THEM ON THE GROUND!!"
Rasvar "YOU KILLED *FOREST* YOU
BASTARDS!!" Mutt "(quiet) yay..."
People cough, recover. Poink "I
will say THIS, this is one of the funniest
shows we've done in years!"
Ying Yang nods, then blinks, turning "In bed."
Poink "You know, we did kick it off
with the Acid Flashback, which seemed to
light a lot of people up. And
something we were discussing during the
dinner break.." "..in bed?.."
"..us getting togther and producing something
else?" "..in bed?" "In
Bed!"
The "In Bed" project. Mutt "I
thought we just did that? (Strong Bad) We did et
to deeeeath.." Poink nods. Ezra
holds up a huge cane "Mutt has licked this
candy cane
stripeless!"
3:44 Poink "That's not the only thing he
licked the stripes off of!" Mutt "....in bed."
Forest is ressurrected as Mutt
disappears "Der's twu much BED guing on!"
Ezra "For-EST!" "Nah whut's with da
BED?" "It's CHRISTMAS TIME!" ".. en BED?"
Ezra "That's our newest Christmas
Carol! Instead of 'Christmastime in Hell', it's
Christmastime in
BED!"
Forest understands about people
decorating him so he looks gay "But Hoonestly,
Luuk at MI! I luuk like someune
drunk and gay, decurated mi.."
Ezra "You look like you came
right out of that BB store at the mall!"
Forest doesn't like electric
lights? "I'm on a LEESH. *tug tugs* I can't muve..
anywhure.. it's like I'm stuck
to the wall.." Ezra pees on him "AH YOU BITCH!"
Forest lays down and stabs Ezra
with his crown. Ezra laughs, tickled.
3:45 Forest "I'll Keeeeell Yuuu!" Ezra
"You don't even look like a BB, you look like
you came from Claire's!" Stab.
Ezra ducks, then pops back up "You are the
-ghettoest- Christmas
Tree.."
Forest "But I'm da Christmas Twee!
And you wanna Bee me!" Ezra "I don't wanna BE
you, I wanna (leg lifts) PEE
you!" ".. if you DU you're wonna DIE cause I'm
electwick!"
SONG! "I WANNA HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR
CHRISTMAS!" Poink "Music from Weiners.. I'll lead
the chorus.."
------------------
VIDEO: I WANT A HIPPO FOR
CHRISTMAS
"I want a hippopotamus for
Christmas.." Poink "In bed.."
"To play with and Enjoy.." "IN
BED!"
"I don't think Santa Claus will
mind.." "IN BED!"
Cast keeps add "IN BED" to
everything!
3:46 Dual-screen mode, video AND the
stage playing at once.
"IN BED!" "IN BED!" "IN BED!" Mutt
"We're going to get our tires slashed if we
keep doing this.."
"I only want.. Hippopotammusses.."
"IN BED!" Stick figure girl rides the hippo,
yeehah.
VIDEO CUT.
--------------------
3:47 VIDEO: ELVIS PRESLEY SINGS "BLUE
CHRISTMAS"
Poink "ELVIS!" Mutt "I *HATE* this
song!" "Let me give you my panties!!!"
Everyone except Mutt keeps singing.
"Elvis don't smile.. you don't deserve to
smile.. this song sucks!" Ezra
mimes kissing Mutt
Pan out to the supporting band.
Mutt "I gotta gun, I'm gonna kill the background
singers!" ducks under. Yappy
whats? "Those were the Gordanaires!"
Bluuuuuuuuuuueeee Christmassssss
without Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... "I don't CARE!"
Mutt mimics using a bazooka, while
the others augment the background singers.
"Pppppp!" "ooOOOAAAAoooo.." "PPPP!"
"oooOOOAAAAoooo.." "PP PP PP PP!!!!!"
Mutt scores repeated headshots on
Ezra with the legs of a held naked Barbie.
The angels have finally stopped
singing.
3:48 Poink tries out being Elvis for a
while. It works. "WHY DO I SOUND THAT CLOSE!??"
Poink goes to Hugh to remove the
curse.
Video cut.
--------------------
VIDEO: DOMINIC THE DONKEY! Poink
"You've been asking for it! Here it is..."
"HEY! ChingaitChing HEE-HAA HEE-HAA
It's Dominic the Donkey!"
Grown men cavort down the street.
Mutt "Oh my GAWD.."
3:49 The Mario Brothers reveal their new
secret weapon for Christmas.
"La..La..LA..LalaLalalalalaa...La..La..LAAA..lalaalalalalALALALaaaa.."
Mutt "Is this like.. the REAL
video?" Poink "YES."
Donkey with a
mustache.
Santa uses Dominic "Because the
reindeer cannot climb the hills of I-taly! HEY!"
Playing leapfrog with a donkey
(risky?) do-see-doing with a donkey.
3:50 The important thing is about being
happy, really. And they are.
3:51 Chorus of Hee-Haas.
Cut
---------------------
Poink "Well.. Forest just tries to
hang himself." Tipped over, not moving.
"I cowldn't taqe the sung no
mooor.." agonizing sounds.
Donkey puppet pops up
"HeeHaaHeeHaaHeeHaaHeeHaa.." "I COWLDn'T Shtop watchig
It! It twas like watching my
brothers BURNNNN..."
Forest hates the show. Poink
"Amen." YingYang "A-men!" Donkey tries to kick Mutt.
Mutt "Are you.. Dominic?"
Donkey gives Goofy laugh "I cowld bee.."
Poink "We just brought
Christmas to a screeching halt."
Mutt "What video's worse than that,
EVER?"
Poink ".. you GOTTA ask that?"
Rasvar "REALLY! Do you REALLY want to go there?"
Mutt "For Offical Music
Videos?" Poink "Not sure how Offical that was.."
Donkey "Apache!"
Long pause. Mutt "That was
WORSE!"
-----------------------------
3:52 YAPPY'S REVENGE: CHRISTMAS AT
GROUND ZERO BY WEIRD AL!
Mutt nos "This is Weird Al! It
ain't gonna be bad, it's gonna be good!"
Fun with Stock Footage, Black and
White Bomb Test videos and Christmas Shows.
3:53 "Everywhere the Atom Bombs are
droppin! (Sax riff) It's the end of all Humanity!"
"No more time for Last-minute
shoppin! (Sax RIFF) It's time to face your final
destiny!"
30 seconds of musical interlude as
people caught in everyday tasks duck and
cover to ward off The
Bomb.
Mutt "JUMP UNDERNEATH THE TRACTOR
BLADES!"
Ronald Reagan "(serene) Well.. the
Big Day's only a few hours away now.. I'm
sure you're all looking forward
to it as much as we are (smile)."
"You might hear reindeer on your
roof top (Sax riff) Or Jack Frost on your
windowsill.."
"But if someone's climbin down your
chimney.. (Sax RIFF) You better load your
GUN and shoot to
kill!"
3:54 Girl swoons, and is kissed by five
guys in a group hug. "HEY! WOOO!"
Al Grins up from his carol book.
Mutt "I miss Al with a mustache."
----------------------------
3:55 Mutt "That was a lot of guys
kissing.." Poink "Well when you think about it,
when the Bomb drops.. it's no
holds barred."
Donkey "HEY MUTT?" Mutt looks
"Hey?" Donkey kisses him and runs. "Aw! Shmoopie."
Ezra ayucks "You just got
KISSED byan ASS!"
Pause. Mutt "ALRIGHT! No one said
it." Poink "What?" Mutt "Score.. we're done."
(IN BED!!) "It.. they're dead, they're
gone."
Mutt still thinks Dominic sucks.
"Four minutes of my life I can never return.."
Ezra "Four minutes that will
come back to HAUNT you!"
Poink "What are you TALKIN
about? It's FOUR HOURS of your life!"
Mutt "(resigned) Even THIS
show's better than that VIDEO.."
Stagehand puts a penguin puppet
over Poink's head. Poink just looks at you, beaky
Ezra "Poink actually looks cute
now!" Mutt "It's an Owl!" "No, it's a Penguin!
3:56 Poink starts WHOOOOing. No joke yet
about where his head is.
Ying "Poink?" Poink "WHO." "Poink?"
"WHO." "Poink.." "WHO?" "Poink." "Hooters!"
Poink tosses the puppet off "Oh
the hell with it.. TITTIES!"
Yappy fires up some music "Now we
have to close up the show now!"
--------------------
THE TWELVE PAINS OF
CHRISTMAS!
"The first thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me.. is finding a Christmas
Tree.." *ding*
"The Second thing at Christmas
that's such a pain to me.." "Rigging up the Lights"
"And finding a Christmas
treee!" *ding*
Pawpets mime the voices, one by
one
Ezra tries to rig up Forest's
lights, but it's no use.
3:57 9 puppets on stage! "5 MONTHS OF
BILLS!!!" Hugh "EW!"
Frankie the evil waiter from
Rainforest Cafe (Teddy with long arms)
"Salvation Army!"
11 puppets on stage!
"I want a Transformer.. for
Christmas!!" Mutt "CARROT! CARROT!"
-------------------------------
FUNDAY PAWPET SHOW #441
STARRING:
Yappy Fox Herbie Kuddlepup
Brace Bear Jakrabbit Blitz
"WHAT WE HAVE NO EXTENSION CORDS??"
SPECIAL GUESTS:
Rasvar
Big Carrot "DADDY I WANT SOME
CANDY!" Mut "YAY!"
COPYRIGHT 2009, RANDY FOX
Ezra "NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY
BLINKING!?!"
3:59 TWELVE Puppets on
stage!
"And finding a Christmas Tree..."
*DING*
"The 12th thing at Christmas That's
such a pain to me..."
"SINGING CHRISTMAS
CAROLS!"
"Stale TV Specials!"
"Batteries not
included?"
"No parking!?"
Carrot just starts
crying.
"CHAAAARITIES!!"
"Gotta makem DINNER!"
"(chorus) FIVE MONTHS OF
BILLS!!!!!"
"I'm not sending them this year,
that's it!"
"Shut up YOU..."
"FINE! *YOU'RE SO SMART*, **YOU**
RIG UP THESE LIGHTS!"
"(chorus) And FiiinndING a
Christtttmasssss... TREEEEEEEEEEeeeeee.e..e.eeEEEEEE.."
Hugh "Why am I the
Girl?"
*END OF SHOW #441 -
CHRISTMAS!*
*****TIMELINE
CREDITS********
MUSIC AND VIDEOS!
---A PAWPET CHRISTMAS CAROL
---
-------------
EXTRA - MORE LINKS, JUST
BECAUSE
FAILBLOG - Because it's so awesomely
funny.
Map of IKEA consuming the world. The
Superpowers are already neutralized.
What eating IKEA Lincoln Berries eventually
does to people.
SKI JUMP FAIL aka THE SIMBA VIDEO (I spent
3 hours trying to find this, searching for snowboarding. When you folks
mentioned the guy had skis, it took 30 seconds. Thankx)
A WISH FOR WINGS THAT WORK - Youtube 3 part edition
**** MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
**** (Wishes for a brain that works)
