SHOW #441 - CHRISTMAS 2009!

Return of the Rasvar! 0:02
Simba is skiing.. or IS he?  1:00
Ezra's Fire-hydrant word game  1:04
Bandit Vs The Helicopter 1:15
TUMINATOR: Ressurrection  1:33
Happy Hacking for Christmas  1:45

Forty Minutes of Christmas Videos  2:06
White Elephant Gift Exchange 2:46
Bong-Lamps and Lincoln Berries  2:55
Yappy's New Job and Next Year's Lineup Show Lineup (Maybe) 3:06
The REAL Simba Snowboarding Video  3:22
Art Jams - OR - 5 million things to do.. IN BED!  3:32
Shout Outs - OR - 4 million MORE things to do.. IN BED!  3:39
CREDITS 3:58                            TIMELINE CREDITS

PAWPET SHOW TIMELINE #441 - THE 2009 CHRISTMAS SHOW!   Tiny URL: http://tinyurl.com/y9bp5lh
compiled by Blackfoot Ferret
<BACKGROUND MUSIC - Open in another window while reading.>
(Usually RightClick-Open In New Tap works for Newgrounds or YouTube files, OCREMIX
    music has the extra step of clicking on 'Download MP3' or 'Play Preview' to right)
0:01    Brian Reynolds art extravaganza, with Jinglebell Rock playing in BG.
        Segway to stage, covered with lights, beads, stockings, flowers, and Ezra and
            Rummage swaying to the music.
0:02    Poink shows up in a Santahat "Wow.. high folks. Wait a minute.."
        Poink looks up at the stage. "Why is -Rummage- up there?" Yappy's usually down
            with the controls.. Rummage "I haven't been up here in a long time!"
        Poink gets anxious? "Well wait a minute.. if Rummage is up there.. WHO'S RUNNING
            THE CONSOLE?" Ezra "Christmas magic.. Ah!" his hat falls off instantly.
            Rummage "Little Saint Nick?"
        The giant figure of RASVAR appears, wearing headphones, looming over Poink and
            getting in his face with a grin. Poink "H...Hi..?"
        Poink thinks fast "Wait a minute.. I'm too popular on this show.. STANDIN!"
        Rasvar waits patiently as Poink vanishes, and Hugh pops up a few moments later.
        Hugh oohs at him "Teddy!" Rasvar considers, then punchs him anyway "OWW!"
            Hugh goes flying as Rasvar goes back to the Console. Ezra "Merry Christmas
            Rasvar!" Rasvar "Merry Christmas Everyone." Cheers and HaHaHas. JR "You just
            knocked me off IRC Ras.."
0:03    Searching for missing Christmas Hats, and Krystals Hamburgers.
        Ras "(cheerfull) Yes, we DID have Krystals!" Rummage urks "I ate one too many of
            those.. I ate two.." Rasvar "We need another Krystal burger!" KP "I want
            another Krystal burger.. YAY!"
<BACKGROUND> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/86557
        Everyone "KRYSTALBURGERRRRRRRR!" Ras holds the bag high, ala The Lion King.
        JR arghs "No, we're up front, and we have to smell your GAS!" KP/Ezra "That's
            *why* I want a Krystal Burger!"
        Ras spins a burger slowly through the air like a vendor "Krystal Burger! Krystal
            Burger!" he gives one to Ezra. KP mmmms! as Poink looks up dubliously.
            KP "Oh! It smells so GROSS!.."
        Santa Poink watches as Rasvar hands out an Krystal Burger "F U, I'm going home.."
        Rummage hmms "Can Krystal eat that sandwich?" Poink "Only with Krystal Meth."
        More cheers for the Christmas show, people talking with their mouths full.
        Poink "Well, we had something ever BETTER yesterday, and we'll tell you about it
-2:45       later.." Yappy grumphnoms "Oough, thise Kristals arf going to be fugh later.."
0:04    Rummage thinks it's going to be deadly. Poink "Silent, but deadly night.."
        Rummage "I can't even imagine.." Poink "Oh yes you can! You've had parties like
            that!" "It's a good thing he didn't bring the chilli, the worst thing that
            I've ever done to myself.. and everyone around me was when Jackiedog was over
            here.." people uh huh ".. I was taking him to Traditional Americal Joints to
            eat. So I took him to a BBQ, and an All You Can Eat Buffet.. and took him to
            Krystals. So.. I said down and had me a sack full of Krystals.." Ezra uh huhs
            "... but I don't like French Fries! So I had an alternative.." Poink Oh Gods
        The Horrible, Insidious Plan B. Ezra "You had onion rings?" Poink winces "I know
            what he had, you had the Chilli didn't you?" Rummage confesses "I had the
            chilli.." Poink Oh Gods again. Rummage "I -did not realize- that there was a
            Fusion between Krystal burgers and Chilli."
        Somewhere, Goku is pleased. Rummage "That was bad.. IT was bad.. THAT was BAD for
-2:44       everyone at work the next day!"
0:05    Poink "If you go to Wendy's, or you go to Burger King, their chilli's Red?.."
            Ezra "Yeah?" "But if you go there.. it's brown. There's a reason.."
<BACKGROUND> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/91268
        Poink goes for a new headset in the other room, makes some anguished noises.
        Rummage "Did you just gas out?" ".... no ..." Rasvar "*I* didn't do anything!"
        Poink "I just remembered.. now that I'm on the other side of the stage, I'm right
            behind Rasvar's ASS!" Rasvar "Oh Yeah, Yeah Yeah!" Ezra "This was Strategic!"
        Poink "You're Patient Zero now.." Ezra "No, -you're- Patient Zero." "I will be.."
            "Yes you will!" Poink peers out from behind Rasvar "Wow, this is gonna stink."
        Rummage "Death becomes you!" Rasvar cackles evily. Ezra "You've been naughty all
            year, and no Rasvar-Claus has gifts for you!" Rasvar "And I still have another
            Krystal left up here!"
0:06    Ezra "That's not coal going in your stocking.. it's something else." Poink "Well,
            this brings that Christmas song true! I want a hippopotamus for Christmas ^_^"
        Poink goes flying from another critical hit. People start singing the Hippo song
            rinky dink. Rummage "I've got that song.." Rasvar "Do we want to START with
            THAT?.." "I showed the video earlier."
        Peggy Anders gets eaten by a hippo? "We've scared Bandit a few times today."
        Rasvar ohs! "We forgot the Most Important Thing we need to play before a Christmas
            show." "What?" Rasvar starts belching into the mic, then invokes the sound
            of dogs barking Jingle Bells.
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg
0:07    How to freak Bandit out by simulating Bangs. Ezra finds his hat, which hates him.
        Ezra "I feel like a dyslexic Smurf.." hat puffball keeps beating him in the face.
        Rummage tells Rasvar about a few allignment problems with the mixer. Ezra tells
            him just to push buttons! Rasvar "No, uh.... OK :)"
        Ezra "See the one that says 'Yappy's Personal Directory'? Go into that one!"
        Rasvar starts pushing buttons, a steam whistle plays! People cheer.
0:08    Time for Bandit's present! Only one person can give Bandit his present.. Yappy
            gets his hat on. Poink "You can't segway until the artist is dressed!"
        Bandit's got a lot of presense.. including a Krystal? Rasvar "Should we give
            Bandit a Krystal? We've got one left.." Ezra "GIVE BANDIT A KRYSTAL!"
            Poink "NO!" Ezra "BANDIT!" Poink "... *I'LL* eat it.. don't..!"
            Bandit takes the Krystal. Rasvar and Ezra "YAY!!!" Poink arghs "Now we're
            goint to have a flatulent border collie!" Yappy cackles.
0:09    Rasvar "And he just GLOMMED the whole thing down ^_^" Poink "That's the only way
            you can eat a Krystal.
0:09:11 Poink "Oh God.. he just looked at me like 'You are so F*ed..'"
        Ezra thinks Poink has cheese in his breath. "Folks, we have a fun showed planned
            for this week! We didn't plan anything.. but we have a fun show planned
0:10    Ezra's new game. Bandit starts having reactions? Poink thinks the Krystal is
            going to return looking like Meatwad from Aquateen "My- Name- Is- *Bleh*.."
        Blitz is in the kitchen, cooking. People start fliking the 'Someone's in the
            Kitchen with Dinah' song. "Someone's in the kitchen with Blit-Z!" Poink "We're
            all going to hell.." Ezra "Why?" "Bandit just ate a Krystal!"
0:11    More Christmas games, new roomate is here. Poink wants to play 'Guess the naked
        Ezra woohs. woohs. Poink blinks "You didn't poopoo that idea?"
        Rasvar is pushing more buttons, colors start to bend and change. Ezra "I'm havin
            NIGHTMARES, my whole world is starting to change colors and everything.."
        Poink "Do that again." Rasvar starts doing the A-B camera back and forth thing.
            Poink "Everybody Wang Chung tonight.. did we do that already?" Week before.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXu6QmxpJE <Background, but video is awesome too!>
        Poink has a TUMINATOR coming up? Rasvar tries to find the Tuminator music.. but
            it's buried under 'a couple of other dead computers' in his closet.
0:12    Old technology, Realplayer and you. Poink "You could run your own Realplayer
            Keyhole Cam show!" Rasvar Oh Gods. Poink "People will tune in from miles
            around to see that!"
        KP "The keyhole cam show?" Rasvar nopes "We're NOT doing the Keyhole Cam show.."
0:13    Poink "We have a preview of something.." Arghs offstage. ".. we have a preview of
            something I wasn't suppose to tell you about.. Yappy's trying to teach Rasvar
            how to use the console again." People work backstage.
        Poink "We have dug something up out of the Vaults, just for you guys tonight!"
        Rasvar wows "They can't see this at home.. but we actually decorated the stage in
            a Sane manner.. not like THIS!" People had 10 minutes before the show started,
            beads and lights hanging on white strings. Ezra notes Poink and Rasvar did the
0:14    Poink sings "It's a trailer park Christmas.." Rasvar "Do you know how HARD it was
            to get this Tree?!"
        White Elephant exchange, and more gifts, coming up.
        Rasvar "Yay! The REVENGE OF KRYSTALS!" Poink "In Hour Three, those are going to
            come back to haunt us!"
-2:35   Rasvar "Well, between that, and what we had yesterdays.." people still keep quiet
            about that.
0:15    Rasvar pushes more buttons.. giant MoooOOOOOO! sound. Ezra "Rasvar? Why did you
            do that?" "No reason at all."
0:16    Someone gets Poink a picture about something he doesn't remember? Talk of the
            Secret Project. Bedroom scene? Keyhole cam? Poink "That is NOT a keyhold cam!"
0:17    Poink "We were watching the movie.. you were trying to convince me not to be an
            evil bastard." Ezra "Which never works." Some music in the background
        Rasvar laughs! "You know, this is a really great show! We're sitting here talking
            about something THEY CAN'T SEE! I'm sure the audience is absolutely loving
            this.." Poink notes the server crashed, makes no difference.
0:18    Suspensefully Christmas music. "Maybe we should have looked at his earlier.."
        IRC is dead behind the stage? Rasvar OHS! Ezra "Welcome back Ras!" Aura of
            technological destruction is still active.
0:19    Ezra "Everyone.. welcome to Tech Talk on the Pawpet Show.. Christmas Edition!"
        Technical Difficulties. Then..
.........***TIME WARP****.......
<Background>  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6uY5-a0es8
        Christmas Past! Ezra and Poink 1.0 talking to Devinfox!
(Video keeps playing as voices from the Present keep talking in background)
        Ezra "Hey! It's Santa Frodo!" Devin "Yes, it's Santa Frodo, and I have something
            interesting I wanted to show you guys out there.."
        Poink "Poink has a big THING sticking out of him.." Devin talks about recordings
        Devin "And I recorded just a little clip of a Christmas song for you guys.. all
            Accapella, using my voice for the persussion and the base and all that.."
0:20    Ezra "This was when I was wearing purple glasses.."
        Devin pitches http://www.cimeris.com/pics/christmascard.mp3 (Doesn't work)
(tried to find the page, but wasn't able to, seems offline now, can anyone post to the
 mailing list? Couldn't find the Toxic Audio version either.)
        Poink "Ok, everyone in channel, go and see if that link still works!" Ezra "It
            does not :("
        Devin's song starts, multi-hims singing "Santa Claus is coming to town" sounds
            well produced. Devin sways, Ezra bounces. Fuzzles freaks. Poink shrugs and
            starts bouncing after a bit.
        Off stage, Forest -tries- to sway, but somehow ends up falling over and breaking
            a limb. Medic! Time for the tree surgeon. "Dah! I luved it.. I shoowned.."
0:21    Devin notes he did all the sounds, including the Sleigh Bell, and thanks Toxic
            Audio for the arraignment.
        Forest is the Christmas Tree? Sometimes, you can have too much Bling Bling..
        Rasvar peforms first aid on Forest, who still looks under the weather.
        One more replay, people sway. The bells sound real.
0:22    Devin saw TA perform once, and did the arraignment from memory.
        Poink "Well, I gotta tell you Devin, you've got a lot of talent, and you deserve
            these, because you have balls." Poink hands Devin a pair of green and red
            koosh balls. People AWWW. Devin "Thank you for letting me hold your balls,
            Poink." "Oh, I don't let just anybody do that." Poink leans on him.
        Devin takes off, waves to folks, Mutt stagedives.
0:23    Terrymouse reads the channel. Fast forward to random spot of Tod, Poink, and
            Mutt singing the Tredel song from South Park.
        Tod "But I'm not gonna play with it it 'cause Tredel's fuckin gay!' Mutt "Hey!"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xam01uaj6Vg
        Back in the Present, people go NUTS! Rasvar "WOOOOO!!!' Poink "Christmas break the
        The past FREEZES as Ras hit the panic button, all three puppets gazing at the
            audience with curious expressions. Ras "And we went to the past to break the
            rating again now!"
        DOGS BARKING JINGLE BELLS! WOO! Poink wows "You know, if we put a dollar in the
            Swear Jar back then, it would be worth two today."
        Another warp, Poink and Mutt, cheek to cheek, singing the "Mr. Grinch" song.
        Poink "Ok, this is past it, we need to back it up.."
        Past Poink ".. because Christmas.. Sucks!" Mutt "What? NO!!" opens his mouth to
            say something and gets paused.
        Strange odyseey through Clip Time Rewind. Future Poink "It's flashback with
0:24    Rasvar "Alright.. ladies and gentlemen.. boys and girls.."
        Showtime. Rasvar "(low and sinister) The Christmas Carol.."
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr1X2u4mfLk
        Four sheepdogs go nuts as the music starts.. then everything stops and Arthur
            pops up "Why that heck are we doing my song?" Ezra "(pause) Nothing! Nothing
            Tra-la-la!" "Nothing? You almost had it right!" Sheepdog slurps Arthur
            noisily "Oh, thank you.. EW! SICK!"
        Ezra wonders why Poink never participates in the Christmas Songs? Arthur "Because
            he's a Humbug." Ezra "He's not a Humbug!" Yappy "He's Jewish!" "He's part of
            our cast!" Yappy "He did the Dredel song! He's Jewish!" (?)
        Mutt "He's a Humbug!" pops up, looking very Santaish and offical "Poink, what's
            your deal with Christmas??"
0:25    Poink returns, and nips Mutt on the ear, while people sing the Grinch song.
        Poink "(serious) You wanna know why I have a problem with Christmas?"
            Dramatic look at the audience "Christmas.. SUCKS!" Mutt "NO! Bark Bark! Shame
            on you!" Poink "It SUCKS! It's all about commercialism and -buying- something
            for somebody.. worried that they bought something more expensive for you.."
        Stagehand moves in a mic so Poink can rant "It's for a bunch of Pricks!"
        Down below, Crappy starts to cry. Mutt "I'm not going to deny that that's -out
            there-.." Poink looks down "That's what Christmas is all about, the stupid
            Dog!" Crappy WHATs?! Ezra "You're gonna make Crappy cry!" Crappy "Buuuhuuu.."
            Poink "Well I LOVE that!" Ezra "Well we all do.. but that's a bad cry!"
        Mutt tries to save Christmas, points out everyone's together now!
        Poinkt turns and presents his tail. There's a MASSIVE FARTING SOUND! Yappy "Hey
            now, some of them I dont' want to get anywhere near.. UGH!"
            Was that Poink, or Dookie? Dookie "I don't.." Ezra "Your NAME is DOOKIE!"
0:26    Dookie "That's what I leave BEHIND! I don't carry them with me!" Crappy "Wow,
            you've got a different voice all the time Dad.." Mutt nods "It's weird."
        Ringing bells. Dookie/Yappy "Give me a kiss, son!" Crappy "Ok.." nom nom nom
        Mutt "Christmas is what you make of it, Man!"
        Poink sighs, and has a message for everyone. Ezra "Wait, Todd wants to talk to you
            too" Tod returns.
        Poink oks "I'll get this out of the way now.. Mutt.. Tod.. and then Crappy.."
        "Blow me." Mutt huhs? "Blow me." Tod yows! "Blow me.. I hate Christmas.
            Crappy wows! "What does that mean?" Poink "Well.. hang a piece of mistletoe..
            right below your navel."
0:27    "That will tell you what it means." Dookie whispers something into Crappy's ear,
            and crappy goes ".. (secretive) WOW!"
        Dookie whispers more, and Crappy starts looking beyond words. Poink views the
            revelry with quiet disapproval.
        Mutt notes it's about giving things away to people that need them. Poink has
            another set of gifts "Tod.. I believe you need MY FOOT, up your ASS!"
            Tod ".. No!" Crappy ".. No!" Mutt cackles. Tod is sad "That's not nice.. just
            like when you hijacked my Livejournal last week, that wasn't nice!
        Poink "Oh please.." Tod "You've got your own now, so NYA!"
0:28    Poink arghs "Go Away! All of you! GO AWAY!" Mutt "Fine! Be that way!" Tod "Fine..
            I'll go get some eggnog.." glances back to make sure he's being heard "Eggnog,
            with BUTTERSCOTCH!" leaves. Mutt "You're cranky, you need some sleep, you've
            been up all month." Tod ".. bye!"
        Poink arghs "At least I can get -something up- you stupid.. gah" he's along on
            stage now. "Finally, I can be left alone, I'll get some sleep.." dozes off.
        <MAGICAL RINGING BELLS> Screen goes black, then stage is back.
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPVNvJoljD0 <Video is awesome too>
        Front door, three mice knock on it, and Poink answers "What?"
        Mice sing a rinky-dink carol "Quistmas, Quistmas, Tyme is Gnear!"
        Poink "Time for toys.. and time to shut-the-hell-up!"
        Mice wha-? "Gmerry Quistmas Covernor!" "Dont' you need some orphans, or old
            ladies or widows you should be pastering you little -bastards?-"
0:29    Mice "Gno! We wanna pester YU!" "Cwause it's Merry Quistmas Tyme!"
        Poink "(Dignified) Ah! It's Merry Christmas. Let me put this as Succiently as
            possible.. blow me.. blow me.. blow me.. Get It?" The three mice are stunned.
        Poink "Get the hell off my porch." Mouse goes hyper "Oh my goodness.. but
            Governar! DON'T YOU HAVE CANDY FOR ME!?" Third mouse "It's now Halloween
            STUPID!" Poink "Yeah, I've got candy for you.. hang on!" turns around and
            clenches. Mice GAAHHHH and run! Poink "Get off my.." they're already off
            ".. Bastards.." closes the door.
        SCENE CHANGE. Tod Ferret is diligently typing away at a keyboard using his nose,
            in the workshow owned by Poink T. Scrooge.
        Poink pops up "Work faster!" Tod gahs and protests. "I'm wurking faster!" "No,
            you're not! Push -that- button there, push -that- button there, put that
            BOOB on her left side!"
        Tod nosetypes frantically. "But it's her right boob.." Poink "We're making
            quality PORN! And what did I tell you about the Pop-Ups? How many pop-ups do
            you have?" Tod pants "SevenTEEN?" "I TOLD YOU EIGHTEEN didn't I!? Get going!"
        Tod whimpers and nips keys franticly. Poink "Oh hell.. WHAT?" Tod stops "She's
            not supposed to have three breasts.." "You know, if we had PAID for extra
            technical ability, I'd have you open the door.. OPEN THE DOOR!"
0:30    As Tod types, another furson enters, Arthur. Poink "MY GOD, IT'S A JEHOVA'S
            WITNESS!" Arthur "... Hello? No, I'm your nephew." "... my What?" "Merry
            Christmas Uncle! How are you today?"
        Tod addresses the camera "THIS is a screwy family" goes back to typing. Arthur
            looks at him "Thankq you very much." Poink "I'm Uncle, to a.. German cat?"
            Arthur "Ya better believe it." Poink looks at the camera "Only in America
            folks." Arthur "Right." Poink "And what can I do for YOU?"
        Arthur invites him to Christmas dinner! Poink looks at Tod "Can I come over for
            dinner with you, and HIS wife?" Arthur blinks "That would be up to him.."
        Camera changes to look at stage head on. Tod ums ".. sure, sure." Poink "Did I
            ask you to speak?" Tod types. Arthur "Everyone can come over."
        Poink declines "No." Arthur "NO?" "get out of my house" "But Merry Christmas :)"
            "the door is over there" "But I love you :)" "Blow it out your ass."
            Tod "You're leaning on my limiter." types. Poink "Don't make me get the
            pliers again."
0:31    Arthur stammers. "I figured you, you know, take a break? Maybe take the day
            off?" Tod OHS! "Can I have the day OFF?" Poink looks down, nose to nose
            at the hopefully beanie hat ferret. "Did I speak to you?" "No.. but I'm
            speaking to you?" "..... one moment.  Yo. Cat. Door. Go."
        Arthur "The door over there? Right now?" "Bah. Freaking. Humbug. Go."
        Arthur keeps leaving without leaving. Tod pleads with Poink "He's your family!"
        Poink "Are you finished with your lines? Good!" "You know what? You're MEAN!"
            "Uh Huh." "You're screwy Mr. Potter, that's what you are! In the WHOLE VAST
            CONFIGURATION of this INCREDIBLE UNIVERSE, you're nothing but a scurvey little
            spider.." Poink "Cratchet.. Cratchet..Cratchet.." "What?" ".. wrong movie."
        Tod blinks "..Shoot." Poink "You want tomorrow off, right?" "Yes!"
            Poink faceplants the keyboard. Tod "I want to spend it with my Family!"
            Poink "This is your family!!" Tod "... NO! My family doesn't have three boobs
            that I can manipulate with a SLIDESWITCH!" Poink "I wish it was that easy.."
0:32    Poink "Ok, fine! Take the day off!" Tod OHS! "YAY!" "But hold it." "What?"
            "Be here early, the next day, to make up for it." "I'm already here at 3am?"
            Poink "If you're not outta here by the counter of 5, I WILL change my mind."
            "1..2...3..." Tod seems to wake up, looks at the audience "BYE!" "...4.."
        Poink goes back to moving some slider bars on the console.
        Carrot "zawereakljkljwrewwwroiughhsadh!" Tod nods "That's right Tiny Tim
            carrot-head! That looks really good, doesn't it?"
        Carrot has a splint, although that -could- be broken is a mystery.
        Tod WOWS carrot with the inside of a pizza box. Living on a budget.
        Tod "But we can't afford it." "Aazaakwquajkafaaee?" "We can't afford the
            Christmas Pizza Slice either.."
        Carrot is sad, proposes something? Tod "Well, maybe we can afford the Pizza Slice,
            but we definitely cannot afford the Christmas Rubber Chicken."
        Carrot aws. Tod "I know it would taste good! It would be nummy."
0:33    Tod has an idea "We can buy the Pizza.. you can eat the toppings, and we can
            save the CRUST for later!" Carrot is go happy he hops. "AqkjQWressareBUSHWEE!"
        SCENE CHANGE: Poink outside by his car, ranting.
        Poink "People always complain about Christmas, about playing stupid Perry Como
            records.. what the hell else could go wrong?" A screeching squeaking dolphin
            thing approaches Poink. As well as the Seal of Approval. "I had to ask."
        Dolphin "SErWQUIEQWAKFJUHUUIH!" Seal "Ork Ork!" Poink "Ok.. you say you work for
            Give Kids the World?" "QkaQka!" "And you need money to buy food for the
            starving kids?" "OrkOrk!" "These are the same kids who haven't done a damn
            thing for me, right?" "..wQRUOK.." "Where was MY card at Christmas, huh?"
            "Qka?" "Where was somebody Caroling to me, why didn't they hobble away over
            there and sing to ME after Chrismtas, huh?"
        "OrkOrkOrkOrk!" Poink gives Seal a long look. "Uh Huh?" "QUiPKayu!" "You don't
            say?" "...Ork!" Poink "Don't EVEN talk to ME like that!.. look, let's get
            something straight here.. you say they're starving, you say they might DIE,
            well, let them die!"
0:34    Poink "Weed out.." "QQUIAKCAAA!" "..yeah, weed out the surplus population!" "ORK
            ORKURKURKURKURKURK!" Poink meets Seal's piercing gaze. "I'm gonna show you.."
        "QUIERCKQU!" "*URK!*" "..EEWEERQQREU!" "Ok, 'Flipper'?... -stupid tuna-loving
            bastard-.." they've gone.
        SCENE CHANGE: Poink arrives at home. "Worthless Kids.. No Good Charities.. what
            the hell did they ever do for me?"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie9S59ZzLFM
        Poink addresses the disembodied head in the middle of his Christmas Wreath on the
            door. "Hello, Knocker." "****PPPPOOOINNNKK!!!!*** PPOOOIIINNNNNNNNNK!!!!"
        Poink blinks "Hey.... Rummage?" "PPPOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!"
        Poink WOWS at the camera! Looks back.. and it's gone. The door is seamless
            "Wow.. don't use the brown acid.. Jesus.." he goes in
        SCENE CHANGE: Poink watching TV at home.
        Poink unwinds.. talking to his inflatible ewe. He looks up "Do you like the
            movie too?" The ewe continues to seem to give him a backrub. Poink sighs
            "Boy.. I've got to watch what the heck I'm smoking. Those hallucinations
            are just ba..."
        *SHHHSSHHHHH* The bloody ghost of Rummage glides in. Poink "WOW!" "..pppooINNK?"
0:35    Poink "...yeah?" "what are you dooooooing?"
        "Well right now I'm watching a.." "***POINK!****.... GET WITH YOUR LIFE MAN!!"
        Poink and the ewe both shiver "I AM!" "You are soooooo Screeeeeeeewwwwwed!"
        "... Not when I'm on top!" The ewe doesn't comment. Rummage searches for his
            roll again "Yooooooou are being Screeeeewed by a EEEEEEWWWEEEEE!!!"
        Poink looks up at his inflatable friend curiously. Rummage "AND THAT IS WHY YOU'RE
            GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR THE CHAINS of your burden.. just like me Iiii aaaamm."
        Poink looks at the red beads "What, those?" "Yyyyeesss." "Dude, the inflatible
            sheep got better ones at Mardi Gra for showing off her tits." "nnnNNOOOOooo.."
        Rummage laments "These have been produced for every day of my miserable life.."
            Poink nods "Well your life SUCKS!" "..and.. every time I scrreeewwed somebody
            I got another beeeead to weight me down." Poink "Well you know what Marley?"
            "wwHHHaatt?" "You're a vicious bastard, (glib) and I'm glad you're dead ^_^"
        Rummage thinks about that "Weell.. just waaaaittt.." "For?" "You've got one
            *EIGHTY TIMES LONGER THAN THIS ONE!* Long..." Poink "Genetics?" "LOOONG..."
            gonna sink to the bottom of the lake with these chains!" "No, because I've
            got the sheep filed with helium." The ewe calmly stayed mounted on Poink.
        "... It ain't gonna help." "Ok... is there a *point* you're trying to reach here?"
        "You have a WAY to change your ways!" "No shoot?" "You can avoid getting any more
            chains." "What, by kicking your narly ass out the door?" "---**POINK!***---"
        "You are going to be visited.. by threeeee spirits..." "Yeah, the Spirit of
            Hung Over, the Spirit of Having To Do to the Bathroom and the Spirit of
            Throwing Up at this rate!" pauses for breath "What?" Rummage "At one o'clock,
            you will be visited by a GHOST!" "One?" "AND ANOTHER ONE AT TWO!" "two?"
            "AND ANOTHER ONE AT THREE!" "Um?" "AND ANOTHER ONE AT FOU.. um, no, I take
            that back, just three."
        Poink tries to renegotiate "Can't we just have one at 12, and fill the sheep with
            helium at.." "NO! YOU'RE SO -SCREWED-.. you're screwed your screwd." Rummage
            farts for emphasis, visibly shaking. Poink "(small voice) but I'm out of
            lube?" Rummage "you're screwed."
0:37    Poink "ooohhh.." he tries hard not to laugh, some of the tech people snicker "I'm
            going to bed..."
        SCENE CHANGE: Poink snorning like a chainsaw in bed, watched over by his loyal
            inflatible sheep.
<Background> http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01096/
        The spectral image of a very bright red cartoony fox floats into the room, and
            goes... "YAP!YAP!YAP!YAP!YAP!YAP!YAP!" Poink "I'M UP!! Damn, you just made me
            drop my homerolled!" Yappyfox (the REAL Yappyfox) "... Poink?"
        Poink blinks "HOLY COW! I haven't seen you since Show #1!" "...I am from the
            past, yes."
        Poink "Damn straight!" "Waaaaaayy back in the past." ".. you can go back there?"
        Poink "Whatdayowant?" "It's YOU'RE past.." "Oh Great, this is 'It's Your Freakin
            Life'." "...(shrugs) Yes. Way back when, when you were an untanned ferret."
        Poink zips away, transforming into Poink 1.0, and returns, looking like Fuzzle.
            "(falsetto) I was just a little ferret, my paws don't reach my GENITALIA!
            I think I'm gonna grow up and build Porno Legacy!"
        Poink zips away to transform again. Yappy "... people.. didn't like you back then,
            did they?"
0:38    Yappy "They left you all alone.." Poink 2.0 "Like I give a damn!"
        Yappy "But those were your childhood memories?" "I know.. but.. I got older, and
            my paws learned to reach.. and I've got inflatible sheep!"
        Yappy "(soothing) But Poink.." "But what?" "Don't you cherish those past?"
            "Hell no!" "But there were with your.. invigorated youth?"
        Poink responds by opening his mouth.. and farting loudly. You simply had to be
            there. Yappy "And you smelled a lot better back then, too!" "..come a little
            closer and you can smell my lunch!" "I don't want to..no....."
        Poink "Look, do you have a point to get to?" "...I don't know."
        Pause. Poink "Look.. you can see the sheep's eyes, she's hungry for lovin."
            "Yes.. but you did not do that in your past!" "I don't have good LAYTEX in
            my past!" "But Poink.. you need to go back... and relish..on your.. childhood"
        (Don't do drugs kids) Poink "Oh, relish! I've tried whipped cream.." "Before you
            hit puberty." Poink blinks "I had no HAIR!" "...Yes. And it was a better time"
        Poink considers "No crabs either.." "So.. think about this.."
0:39    Yappy "Ponder it." Poink "...ponder ponder ponder ponder.." ".. and don't take my
            hand. Let's go.. visit.. your past.." Poink "Ok.." cartwheels over the bed.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/285961
        SCENE CHANGE: "AW.. FREAK OUT!!" Old school stage, lots of Pawpets dancing to
            disco. A shy-looking Poink 1.0 as a wallflower.
        Everyone's dancing.. except for Poink 2.0, and Yappy "So.. Poink.. this is your
            past.." Snail gets in an wicked eye-groove. Poink "Um.. why did you bring me
            -HERE-?" "To show you.." "It looks like the Muppets took Studio 54?"
        Yappy improvises "This was when.. you had a better time in  your life.." Poink
            looks at himself. "Well, if this is me, I don't look like I'm smiling.."
            Yappy "You were snorting too many lines back then."
        Poink glances at his earlier self "Are you going to finish that one?" sniffs
            "WER! I can remember it now!!" Yappy "Back in the days.. when you chose.. to
            go down.. a different path.."
        (somewhere, Shatner is drawing a phaser) Poink looks around. Yappy "You were
            having fun.. as you were.. shown here.. almost. But then you decided.. to go
            down.. the other way.."
0:40    Poink takes pity on himself. "He is a depressing little guy.. he needs some
            action?" a beautiful vixen with bling appears. Yappy "But you nearly choose
            to.. blow off the action." Poink whispers in his own ear "Go.. get her."
        Early Poink blinks as an idea pops in his head, he looks over, sees the vixen,and
            they start kissing! Vigorously actually.. Poink "Oh Yeah! That's mah boy!"
        Snail and Wolf stop and start watching the action. Poink "This isn't all bad!"
            Yappy "Yes.. but wait till you dissed her.. you chose to go down another
        Early Poink and the Vixen stop kissing, and speak silently. Vixen can't seem to
            believe it. Yappy "You choose your -CAREER- instead." Early Poink "I film
            porn.." Vixen stares. Poink "Oh come on.. it's only Three Hampsters!"
            Vixen shakes head no violently "None of them are John Holmes?.."
            Vixen shakes head. Poink "What's the matter with you? Get out of my life!"
            Vixen leaves. Poink "You brazen temptress!!..."
0:41    Yappy "And this, Poink, is where you decided to turn for the worse. You went
            down.. the wrong path.. (intones mystically) OF PORN... .. ."
        Early Poink is depressed. Poink "Yeah.. you should have gotten better acting
            lessons you little punk.."
        Poink 1.0 passes out. Poink watches. Yappy "Porn.. was bad for you.." "Check my
            bank account buster.." "So now we bring you back to bed. For the next spirit
            needs to show you.. your ways."
        Poink "Please.. let it be a girl..."
        Yappy "Dodalodalo..Dodalodalo.." Wayne's World scene transition.
        SCENE CHANGE: Poink's back in bed. "Oh.. my head.. bad acid." looks up at his
            Ewe. "Why do you have a chicken in here?"
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/156453
        "POINK!" "Huh?" "Poink..." camera turns, revealing Mutt in a purple flowery hat.
        Mutt "I am the next GHOST that is visiting you!" Poink (wearing earrings) "With
            the flowers in your hair you look like a POOF." "They are -RENTAL-" "I don't
            doubt it."
        Mutt "I am the GHOST of Christmas Present!" "Well -La-de-da-." "You've rejected
            EVERY SINGLE BROTHER before me." "Well.. what makes you think you're an
0:42    Mutt "UGH! You will LEARN that life is NOT -that bad-." Pause. Poink "...How?"
            "And you will enjoy CHRISTMAS!" "... Good Luck." "You are very Stingy, you
            must learn the.. -essense-, of Giving!"
        The phone clicks suddenly. Poink looks up. Mutt "And the phone.. BUT WE'LL IGNORE
            THAT PHONE!"
        Poink faceplants. Mutt carries on "What I have with me here is.. the.. ESSENSE..
            of Christmas Giving!" Poink "Are you done?" "So here, hold on."
        Mutt leans out the window, and returns with a giant Pixie Stick (or is it a
            Joint?) in his mouth, and takes a long puff "FfFFFFf...UGHH..."
            Poink "PERVERT!" Mutt "Pass THIS ONE!" moves to share it with Poink, but
            drops it. "Oh, it fell out the window.. Hold on!"
        Mutt retrieves it. "Take a puff of THAT BABY!" Poink inhales... and inhales...
            and INHALES... Mutt "Don't bogey! Don't bogey!" Poink spits it out at Mutt,
            then passes out from the craziness. Mutt "Bump Bump give!" Poink "I'm ok.."
        Poink passes out. Mutt "That is not Maui Wowwie." Poink sits up "It's
            Alcapolco Gold!" "It is NOT Alcapolco Gold.. it is the ESSENSE of Christmas
            Goodness.." Poink "Can I eat your flowers?" Mutt "(authority) You may NOT
            TOUCH MY FLOWERS you FREAK!!"
0:43    Mutt "What I'm going to do is show you the WORLD, cause you do not get out of the
            bedroom enough.. WHAT IS THAT THING IN YOUR BED? You need to get out more.."
        Mutt "We're going to take a look at the World Around You!" Takes Poink's ears in
            this mouth. Poink "Ugh? Owe OOH OWW!" Mutt yanks Poink right off his Stagehand
            and floats up into the air "COME WITH MEEEEEEeeeee..."
        SCENE CHANGE: Tiny Tim Carrothead's house.
<Background> http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR00493/
        Poink is still dragging on the Joint. Mutt "Yes, Poink, this is..Christmas Today!"
            "We're going to your poor, overworked, underpaid worker, TOD."
            Poink "Why did you bring me here? It's not like I care." We're gonna show
            him.. we're gonna show YOU his family! Hey your family.." Poink "Got any
            more of that stuff?" "I don't think I NEED any!" "I do.."
        Mutt and Poink share drags. "Enjoy! Accept it.. take in the Warmth of the
            Christmas Spirit.." Poink lays back with the Joint in the air like a weather
            flag. "Oh, I'm warm."
0:44    Tod "Have a Happy Holiday Carrot!" Carrot "OhGeeSoYouTooz!" "Oh Jeez, you're so
            sweet!" "Ohazerwerqinu!Mm!" carrot kisses Tod. "Awe, thank you! I wish I
            could afford medicine for you.." "Odiitwasdina..eHe..EHE..Ehah.." carrot
            starts coughing. Cutely. Tod "I wish I could afford medicine.. I know it's
            probably going to make you swell.. but.." "Eeee? Zhhhzzzz?" "You might get
            a little swollen but.."
        Carrot moves close to the camera, appearing to inflate like a balloon.
            Tod "... It'll be ok!.." "waquzinu?" "We'll always have our little family."
            "Ehe.. *EHE*.." "And we should thank Mr. Scrooge for our wonderfull slice of
            Christmas Pizza." "NottomentionitAHAzepizzasodimymmi?" "Yes, it was really
        Up above, Mutt and Poink exchange glances. Tod "YOU can have the perreroni!"
            Carrot "OOO!KBOYDIMIBUSWEE!!AndiMonie?" Tod "And remember.. save the crush
            for dinner tomorrow.." Carrot "..krust.."
        Mutt turns to Poink "They are VERY POOR.." Poink "Well I guessed -THAT- from what
            I pay him.. what's wrong with the carrot?" "Carrot is very ill.. it's what
            happens when ferrets give birth, to vegetables."
0:45    Poink "Then make him into consume and be done with it.." Tod talks to Carrot "I
            wish I could afford you more crutches, too." Carrot mumbles? Tod "I know
            they're kinda short.."
        Mutt "They can't even afford proper crutches! They have to use chopsticks that
            we stole from Yappy's kitchen!" Poink eeps? Mutt "YOU do not pay him enough,
            he works too hard, you do not pay him enough, who are you, *Michael Eisner*?"
        Tod "Carrot, please don't fall again.." Mutt "He could be well again! If.. he
            only had the money.." Carrot falls again. Tod "Awww.. Carrot? He'll be ok.."
        Poink is starting to feel bad. Maybe. Carrot cries. Poink "Gotta be a ranch."
        Mutt "You will learn the error of your ways.." Poink "Yeah, fat chance.." "And you
            will be visited by yet one more ghost.. COME WITH ME!" Poink takes another
            drag from the Joint, but Mutt tosses it away and gets him by the ears again
            Poink "Wha.. Ah, OH EEE!!'"
        Carrot and Tod work on first aid, while Mutt starts tearing at Poink and bashing
            him around like WWE. "GRRRAGH! RAWR.. COME WITH ME!!.."
        They leave. Tod "I wonder if Mr. Scrooge is having fun tonight?" Carrot quirks.
            Tod "I imagine he is.. the Jerk.."
0:46    SCENE CHANGE: Poink wakes up gasping in bed. "Huh.. Huh..THAT was some rough weed"
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/171702
        Poink looks at the camera "Ok.. I know.. I need to change my ways.. I can't..
            keep.. being this kind of a Prick..(pants) It's just too much.."
        Poink stops "Wait a minute.. didn't he say there was a third ghost?"
        A shadow appears outside the screen.. vaguely familiar.. and skeletal. "But..
            where will he come from..?"
        Scream Guy lean in close to the translucent screen. Poink isn't looking "I don't
        Scream Guy starts tapping on the glass. Tap Tap Tap. Poink "I can.. hear my heart
            beating.." Tap Tap SHAKE TIN CLAP! ".. it feels like it's going to to come
            out of my chest!!!" TapTapTapTapKnockKnockKnock! "Slow down.. deep.. breath.."
        Poink takes some deep breaths, then "WOAH!!" Scream Guy gives him a thumbs up.
        Scream Guy wishes he would open the damn window. Poink "Ok.." pushes, and opens it
        Poink eyes Scream Guy "You're a ghost, and you can't even open a damn window?"
            Guy points at him dramatically with a finger. Poink "I know why you're here..
            I know.. I need to change my ways.." Guy nods slowly, still pointing "I need
            to stop.. being this way.. I need to help.. people.. out.. instead of..
            being such a .. wonderful quality porn merchant.."
        Guy reaches in, and silently engulphs Poink's head in a boney hand "You're about
            to show me my future.."
0:47    Guy starts tugging. Poink "No! Wait! I can't go!" Guy lets go "I beseech you!
            Don't do this to me!" Guy gives him the middle finger, slow and dramatic.
            "TELL ME SOME GLAD TIDINGS!!!" Boney fingers reach out again "SAY SOMETHING
<Background(OPTIONAL)> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrwO8b9iq34
        Scream Guy stops, then the "IT'S NOT UNUSUAL!" song starts, and vixens start
            to dance. Poink retracts his request. "NO! NoNOnonoNO..."
        The music stops, the vixens leave, and boney fingers gesture, again, to Poink.
            Poink "(small voice) Not that.." the hand reaches out again "What do you have
            in store for me?..."
        Scream Guy pounces, rips Poink right off his Stagehand, and drags him off into
            the black of night.. as the sound of a toilet loudly plays. "I'm FLUSHING!
        SCENE CHANGE: The very same window? Poink and Scream Guy look in again.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/131077
        Poink "Why are you showing me this stuff, Spirit? I mean.. on the way here we
            passed over Cratchet's house, and Tiny Tim was gone.. granted he makes one
            hell of a Fondue.. but he's still Gone!" Guy gestures into the window, but
            Poink keeps looking at him. "Does this have to be my fate? What are you
            showing me.."
        The camera zooms out, they're looking into the bathroom as Poink looks in.
        "Oh.. WOW.." There are letters on the upraised toilet lid... R...I...P.....?
0:48    Poink is near hysterics "This is to be my fate.." zooming in.. R.I.P. *POINK*
        "To be FLUSHED like somebody's old pet?" rotten flowers decorate the lid, and
            yellow stains decorate the otherwise white enamel. "Like a HAMPSTER?"
        Zooming out. "At least I've still got my head, but I don't wanna GO!"
        Poink cries "No.. no..no.." beats his head against the windowsill.
        "Noooo, I can change.. I can change! I CAN CHANNNGGEE!" boney fingers descend
            once more.. this time carrying the ferret off gently into the night...
        One last view of The End of Poink. You always sit in the seat you make.
            And, once again, that loud flushing sound. Because they can.
        SCENE CHANGE: The stage again, it's Christmas, and Poink is waking up.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/63554
        Poink pants "I can change! I can change!"
        The camera goes black. "The camera's gone black.."
        The camera is back. "I can CHANGE! I can change.. I don't always have to be a
            little bastard.. I can change! AH! I'm awake!"
        Poink pants.. then realizes. "I feel HAPPY! I feel like my heart grew 3 sizes!"
        "I'm feeling.. CHARITABLE! Where is that stupid dolphin and seal??"
0:49    Dolphin pops up "eekeeeeequeaeeaeeaeee.." Poink "Hi Charlie!" "Eeeeuuu."
        Seal "Orkorkorkorkork! Ork Ork!" And Simbahead. Herbie "Hi Simba.."
        Poink "Hi Seal.. you want a donation, right?" "orkork.." "Well.. HERE'S RASVAR'S
            WALLET!" tosses it over the stage. "TAKE ALL YOU NEED! I *LOVE* GIVE KIDS
            THE WORLD!"
        Poink "Now, what else do I need to do.." Carrot looks in? "Ah, Tiny Veggie!"
            "Vachiminidu?Ikveggie,skimido" "You know.. I do feel your pain now."
            "Youdovime?" Carrot coughs "I know your plight.. and I know you're hungry..
            would you like that chicken you saw earlier?" "AAa!Siminstrkicken?" Poink
            hurls the rubber chicken off the stage.. HITTING CARROT. "Aaaaegrgghg!"
            "DIE! DIE CARROT DIE!" "..ggrragggh.." "DIE YOU STUPID LITTLE PRICK!!"
        Poink straightens himself up, and ohs "I didn't say I changed-all the way-,did I?"
        Carrot coughs, cutely. Mutt looks in. Poink "And a 1..2...3...4!!"
        Nothing happens. Poink looks in Rasvar's direction "Now you see what I gave them
            YOUR" MUSIC PLAYS! "wallet.."
        SONG: "THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH!" from The Christmas Carol. Group photo on
            stage, everyone dancing and singling along.
0:50    "Sing a Christmas Carol! Sing a Christmas Carol!"
0:51    Group photo! Scrooge coughs as he tries to drink the milk. Happy Ending.
0:52    Chimes and bells everywhere! Scrooge "Merry Christmas... MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
            Poink's on stage. "Merry Christmas everybody! I feel.. so much better about
            myself.. and now.. I'm going to take my friend Forest.." grabs Forest, who
            wha's? "And go find some really big rolling papers.." Arthur "Do it." "And
            have a good time." Poink starts nomnoming forest, who eeps. "Down't do it tu
            me, nuuu!" Poink exits stage right, as decorations shake from the violence
            backstage. "Hand me the blowtorch!" Arthur looks up to see what's going on.
        Forest "I hate u I hate u I hate u...
<Background> http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01684/
        Back to Christmas Present. Poink gazes at your with glowing red eyes.
        Ezra's hat is finally working "There you go folks, a blast from the past!"
            Poink "Hello..?" he's on the phone "Ah, good news! Guys, that was CBS, they
            want to start running this right after The Charlie Brown Christmas every year!
        Video feed goes back to past for a bit. Rasvar's pushing buttons again.
        Ezra "I thought they were going to run it right after the Star Wars Christmas
            Special.." Poink "Due, quality level.. go back to camera."
        Rasvar "We are on camera.. oh no we're not on camera! Sorry!" Back to present.
        Poink "You can tell Ras is in the house!" nervous laughter.
0:53    Poink "THAT was probably the most PRODUCED thing we've ever done, next to the
            Sinkhole Show. And.. God we were creative! What kind of weed.." Ras goes back
            to the Past feed. ".. were we smoking? Why are we back here again?"
            Ras "Ah sorry, wrong button!" "Why do you keep doing that??"
        Technical difficulties. Mutt's hat ball is obscuring his face. Ezra "Mutt what do
            you have a ball in  your face.. AH! I lost my hat again!"
        Mutt "I'm totally blind.. that was a good video!" Rasvar "*I* forgot how much
            funny, how much fun that was." Poink "I did too! I remember when I first
            watched it, cringing a lot.." Mutt tries in vain to pull his evil hat off.
        Mutt "One safety pin in the forehead, now I'm ksrrubblestuckinthefrontofmyface.."
        Ezra wears his hat over his muzzle like a gas mask. "Youknowwhatthegreatthingabout
            thisisthough?" Mutt "What?" "IfIPukeI'tsLIkeMyOwnAirsickBag..BLEH!"
-1:50   Mutt "That's TRUE! And you have a snack for later." People agree.
        Mutt's had another Krystal, wants more? Out of ammo.
0:54    Rasvar "We gave the last Krystals to Bandit." Ezra "Oh good."
        A new game? "Mutt, it's time for you.. to play the Hydrant of Doom!" Stagehand
            lifts red hydrant thing in the background. People call for Bandit, who's
            behind the stage.
        Roving Bandit-Cam. "You get a shoe!" New squeaky toys!
0:55    Camera follows Bandit around, who zooms from one awesome toy to the next.
        Happy Christmas! Ezra "Oh, and in honor of Rasvar.. Happy Super Bowl :)"
        Bandit has more toys than he knows what to do with! Camera also focus on Rasvar
            for a bit, who just smirks back at it.
0:56    Ezra's new toy for the show "It makes noises, and has lights!"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtGF2m102Wg
        Mutt back on stage "That video was fun! I remember making it. I remember making
            it.. and Yappy does not." Rasvar laughs "Yappy had his.. drugs.. to help him."
        Mutt notes Yappy had just broken his arm, and was on a lot of painkillers.
            Poink thinks "I don't remember.." is the funniest line in the video.
            Mutt "Do you remember moving into the house?" starts coughing "That was a
            glue-vine burp."
0:57    Arm broke in downtown Disney, freshly addicted to meds turing the move-in.
        Mutt "When Yappy fell over, and broke his arm, I was light right there, and he
            pulls his arm back.. but his hand doesn't move.. his hand stays put but his
            elbow bends back.." Poink "Wow." "It was like an Accordion Arm, it was REALLY
            CREEPY.." Poink "I remember that one." Mutt "And I threw up ALL OVER the back
            of his head..cause it was so gross."
        (That'sWhatFriendsAreFor.mp3) Rasvar "Then then we were -such good friends- and
            we kept asking him, 'Hey does it itch?' for the next few months." Fun with
            casts, and itches you can't scratch.
0:58    Cast on for about a year? Yappy's not actually in the room. Poink "He ran off,
            I think he's taking my Hydrocono." Mutt "He's outta here." "Or Oxycodo.."
            Rasvar "He's looking for that big doobie we had.." The virtue of long Wendy's
            scraws as implements.
        Poink notes people are asking if it was scripted? "I think we had a basic
            script, but most of the stuff, we just made it up as we went." Mutt "You're
            lucky you got that.. I think we filmed it an hour before the show."
            Rasvar "We did :)" laughs. Mutt "Honestly! I think we got here at 6:00 and
            the show was at 7:00." Rasvar "And it was like -- 'Let's do some really quick
        Ras notes they did that one on the Amiga. Somewhere Eric Schwartz is cheering.
        Mutt "I don't know how loud you could hear it at home, but we were laughing our
            balls off." Poink notes he grew a new set so he could laugh them off again.
        Mutt "Well Merry Christmas everybody." Poink "Merry Christmas to you." "We're all
            having a good, COLD season it'sverycold."
0:59    Cold even in Florida.
        Simba dropped in last week.Poink notes he's been snowboarding. Mutt "Snowboarding,
           is that a code word for something else?" "No, he's actually been snowboarding."
            Poink has a video of him snowboarding? Rasvar oks..
        Maine has lots of snow. JR "Here we go, this is actually footage of Simba
            snowboarding.. and I hope he's watching.. and I hope he likes the footage.."
1:00    Rasvar starts pushing buttons again. Ezra "Not THAT button?" Mutt "NOT THAT
        Ezra "Oh, wait a minute, keeping doing that one, that feels pretty good!"
        Ezra starts to shiver with pleasure, while Mutt looks on "That's not really a
            fire hydrant, is it?"
        SOUND: Something grating through ice. "It's not onscreen!" Ras pushes more buttons
        Bringing up the footage of Simba dying. Ezra "Did he Die?" Mutt "Yes.. but.. he
VIDEO: SKI JUMP FAIL   "As seen on FAILBLOG.ORG" in lower left corner
        A beautifull snow drift wall in the background, with an ice ramp in the fore.
        Grating sound, then *FOOF*, a snowboarder flies off the ramp!
        Everyone shouts "SIMBA!!!" as it hurls end over end, then WHAM, into the snow
            wall, leaving a Warner Brothers style human-outlined-indent in the bank.
            WHAM! "**ooough!**" the end :)
        Mutt "Play it AGAIN! That was funny!" Ezra "One more time?" Rasvar oks, oks..
1:01    Rasvar "Get ready!" Ezra "Everyone, Simba Snowboarding!"
        Rasvar "Get ready.. it's QUICK!..."
VIDEO: SKI JUMP FAIL "As seen on FAILBLOG.ORG" in lower left corner
        A beautifull snow drift wall in the background, with an ice ramp in the fore.
        Grating sound, then *FOOF*, a snowboarder flies off the ramp!
        Everyone shouts "SIMBA!!!" as it hurls end over end, then WHAM, into the snow
            wall, leaving a Warner Brothers style human-outlined-indent in the bank.
            WHAM! "**ooough!**" the end :) Duration: 4 seconds
        Rasvar hehe "Let's show that one more time!" "YEAH!"
        Video starts to zoom out.. then zooms right back in again!
VIDEO: SKI JUMP FAIL "As seen on FAILBLOG.ORG" in lower left corner
        A beautifull snow drift wall in the background, with an ice ramp in the fore.
        Grating sound, then *FOOF*, a snowboarder flies off the ramp!
        Ezra shouts "NNooooooo!!!" as it hurls end over end, then WHAM, into the snow
            wall, leaving a Warner Brothers style human-outlined-indent in the bank.
            WHAM! "**ooough!**" the end :)
        Poink wants to do a quick tribute to Tiger Woods. Ezra gah "Nah, I'm tired of him!
        Mutt "(to Poink) I heard you slept with him, did you sleep with him too?" "Yeah."
        More people "I did." "-I- did." Ezra "I have standards.." "Everybody did."
            Mutt "I found out in the news, I did too!"
        Poink beseeches Tiger Woods to come to the Funday Pawpet Show! Since he won't
            talk to Oprah and everyone else. "Tell your story here!" Ezra "It won't cost
            you anything for air fare!" Mutt "He's not denigning anything, either."
        Poink "And honestly, we only think you made *1* mistake! You got married."
            Bandit squeeks his squeekybone for emphasis.
1:02    Poink "So.. this is a video for you.. if Rasvar can figure it out.."
        Christmas Card "Ho Ho Ho!" open it up "And this Ho, and this Ho, and this Ho.."
VIDEO:  SKI JUMP FAIL "As seen on FAILBLOG.ORG" in lower left corner
        A beautifull snow drift wall in the background, with an ice ramp in the fore.
        Rasvar "One more time, YAY! Oh, there we go.."
        Grating sound, then... ***
        Back to the show, Rasvar pushes even more buttons.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/72118
        Poink "I.. I actually advertized you as being good.." Rasvar oks, oks!
        Rasvar "Wait a minute, wait a minute.." Ezra "It plays TETRIS!"
        People start humming the Tetris music. Rasvar "Wait a minute, wait wait wait.."
        Back to the show. Rasvar "Hold on.."
        People keep humming the tune. "Hold on.."
        Mutt gets motion sickness from the segways "BLEH..." uses the Santa Hat.
1:03    The tune gets louder. Rasvar "Trying to figure out what I did. *OH* there we go!"
        Rasvar "Ok.." Poink "Wow." Ras "Well, what do you expect? I haven't done this in
            a while :P"
        Mutt "Mmmmm, Nutshotz." Poink "This is for you.."
        Wife appears at the front door. "If these keys are the only thing you can
            get me for Christmas, you can just walk out the <BLEEPING> Door.."
        She turns.. and sees a huge black SUV with a giant bow in the front drive way.
        OOOOOOH!!! Romantic music starts playing, and The Guy appears as the Wife
            goes speechless. Luv!
        The Wife looks back, the Guy gives her the keys, and drinks from his coffee mug
            as she runs out.
        Sound of her getting into the truck.
        Door slams. Guy sips.
        Band whispers "Merry Christmas.." Wife waves from the truck, slams the door.
            Key turns in the ignition.. and ********BOOM!***********
        The truck explodes from the waiting car bomb. The guy smiles as the reflected
            light of the 50 foot flames dance in the side windows, then goes back inside.
        "MERRY CHRISTMAS (burning) *BITCH*"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKZypDX9rgo
1:04    Mutt "Brilliant." Poink "MERRY CHRISTMAS! ^_^ I'm done until Tuminator time, I
            need oxygen and Pot." Poink leaves. Ezra "Hey we have some Christmas TOYS
            here in the His-House." Mutt "I LOVE TOYS!"
        Yappy's getting his toy ready. Mutt "Wait a minute.. wait a minute.."
        Gasoline-powered. Poink think it uses a pull-cord.
        Ezra "This is a toy, that we can play with.. RIGHT HERE!" The magic Hydrant.
1:05    Ezra explains how to play, deck of cards. List on the cards, Topic. Must list off
            things in that topic. "Pizza Toppings.. A> Anthovies B>Bologna C>Cheese,etc"
        Mutt draws "TOWN OR CITIES ENDING IN -VILLE" Rasvar "Oh come on.."
1:06    Mutt "Gainsville.. Emeryville... .... ... Brooklynville.." Ras "Oh come ON!!"
            "L.A.-ville.." Ezra "No L.A.ville" "Orlando-ville.." Rasvar "Largest-City-In
            The-STATE!" "Fair-vill-a.." Ezra oks. Ras arghs. ".... Channel?"
        Mutt reads the Channel. Bandit squeeks. "Parkville.. Denmarkville.. Viagraville?"
        Knoxville! Ezra "You missed JACKSONVILLE!" "I'm not a Jacksonville fan, I
            intentionally left them out."
        Mutt gets 4 points. Blitz is up next. Mutt "That's $4,000, right?" Ezra "Well see"
1:07    Blitz "Can you hear me?" Rasvar "Yah, we can hear you now. "...Good."
        Mutt fights with his Santa-hat again. "It looks like I've got a vagina on my head"
        Blitz draws BRANDS OF SOFT DRINKS.
        "Sprite.. Coke.. R.C. .. Fresca.. Mountain Dew.. Doctor Thunder, Mr. Pibb.."
        Mutt just watches with his brain exposed. "Pepsi.. CRYSTAL Pepsi! :) Um..."
        Ticking clock sound. Stagehand slowly makes a grab for Mutt's hat. Mutt turns.
            "STAGEHAND! GROSS!"
        Timer EEEEEEHS. Time's up.
        Newspaper, magazine, books, coffee. Mutt mumbers "This is easier.."
        Mutt whispers bubble gum. Then Weed. "Depends on where you go to.."
        Hugh the Manatee next. Mutt grumbles "Took my vagina off." Hugh "You had a
            vagina?" "Birth defect."
        Aersole with flame, Bondfire, Cold-blooded killer, Dog-on-Fire, the Eurithmics
        Mutt "The Eurithmics keep you warm??" "They do, I LOVE 1984 Sex Drive.."
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg
        Flaming balls of fire. Fire itself. GREAT balls of fire "By Jerry Lewis!"
        "D..G.." Ezra "Time's up!" "I forgot the alphabet.."
        Back to Mutt. Hugh "Do another line!" Can't believe he forgot Farting keeps warm
1:10    Mutt "It's *Methane*" Mutt gets DESERTS!
        Chocolate, Vanilla, Hazelnut, Toffee, Silly Pudding, Macademia, Vanilla, Cherry,
            "Uh... Yogurts. Oh Cake, Pie, Ice Cream" EEEEEH, time's up. 8.
        Blitz goes again. BIRDS!
1:11    Oriel, Cardinal, Blue Jay, Parakeet, Tocan, Eagle, Bald Eagele, Sparrow, Quail,
            Whipperwille, Unbrellabill. EEEEEEH Hugh "You forgot Cock, and Hooter!"
        Rasvar is draining the lizard? Gets THINGS HUNG ON A CHRISTMAS TREE!
1:12    Ornaments, Popcorn, Tinsel, Lights, stars angels Santa Claus, Manettes, Foxes
            Hugh "ewww.." Marshmellows, helicopters, .. everything! Mutt "Start looking
            around the room!"
        Hugh arrives, covered in Bling! "My turn?"
        Technical difficulties, thing wasn't keeping score?
1:13    Time out, Bandit has a new toy! From Yappy.
        Yappy got a REMOTE CONTROL HELICOPTER! Flies around the kitchen like a giant
            dragonfly. Checks out the coffee machine. Mutt "We races, we race through
            the building with those things."
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvmyxTm6hkg (The video is good too)
        Falls on the floor "Bandit, get it!" Yappy gets it first. Ezra explains that most
            are metal, but this one is plastic, designed to take falls.
1:14    Mutt tries to bite it, then it flies down again, and Bandit take a bite at it!
        Mutt "Bandit is enthralled with the helicopter.." people start humming the
            Ride of the Valkyries theme, ala Apocalyse Now. Just smaller.
        Stagehand tries using it as a fan, flies is around the room! Rasvar "Oh now, it's
            going to crash! BANDIT GET IT!"
1:15    Flies around the stage. "Oh no it's going down!" Bandit jumps, and grabs it out
            of the air!
        Putting the copter back on a bar stool, while Bandit stares up at it intently
        Bandit POUNCES, grabbit it right of the stool! "OOOOOOH!"
        Dog gets some series mixed signals as some urge him on, while others try to save
            the helicopter from mauling.
1:16    Hugh "How much did this thing cost..?" Rasvar ums "I'm not gonna say :)"
        Copter goes around.. and around.. and around "Is the tail rotor not working
            anymore?" Out of control!
        Another lauch, Bandit is anti-aircraft! "BLACK DOG DOWN! BLACK DOG DOWN!"
1:17    Mutt keeps praising Bandit's AA abilities, Bandit freaks out and goes into
            hiding? "Bandit, come on out.."
        Camera on Bandit as he slowly slinks out of hiding, with ears down, with a
            'What did I do?' expression on his face. Someone belches. Bandit starts
            smiling after a scritch.
        Rasvar pushes more buttons, camera goes back to stage. Hugh "While we're here,
            Yappy won't hurt you, but after we go Yappy will beat you." Mutt "Good, BOY!"
1:18    Mutt hmms "Who farted?" Rasvar "I haven't.. yet." People in channel are doing
            "Get to the choppah!"
        Guests tonight, Juno and Huskers? Not here yet?
1:19    Hugh "I've got a question.. what is everybody's favorite Christmas Memory?"
            Hugh's Grandma would go to the Giant Pretzel Shop in the Mall, get a pretzel,
            and then bring it home and spank Hugh with it, which taking a bite out of
            the pretzel herself each swing. "Until it was gone." Mutt AWWWWWs "She beat
            you with it too?" "Yes, I loved it." Soft pretzels are your friend. "And the
            salt really made it sting."
        Ezra's Christmas Memories. 5-7. Big Trend, wrap Christmas in Celophane paper,
            translucent, going layer by layer. Aunt Noel. Rasvar "Was she the first.. in
            the family?" "She married into the family." "So she was the First Noel.."
1:20    Another Aunt Natividad. People almost sing the Julio Iglesias thing, then stop.
        Noel wrapped all in the crinkly celophane paper, plastic? KP crawled into the
            pile of wrapping paper, looking up at all the colorfull sheets, up at the
            lights. Thinks he'll never see a prettier sight than all those colors
            sparkling up through the paper around the Christmas Tree.
1:21    Poink "You know what's missing then?" "No." "Heroin." "No."
        Don't see that kind of wrapping paper anymore, was very cool.
        Channel people talk about doys. Game Boys. Gay Boys? Mutt "GAME, with an -M-"
        Mutt got an Atari! "It had just came out, and I was so excited!"
1:22    Next day at school, didn't think about anything other than "Get home and play
            Atari." Mutt blinks, maybe that was his birthday?
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/119243
        Favorite Atari games. JR got his first Atari at 27 in a garage sale.
        Rasvar pushes a button, and a Christmas card hangs in space over Poink's head.
        Carpor's Christmas Card. "Happy Holidays!" Group photo, cartoony.
1:23    Art Jam, send in Christmas cards! And Carpor's in channel!
        Any William's "Happy Holidays to you" song. "Is he still alive?"
1:24    More cards. AceRover. Yappy's Santa Suit was turned over to Santa Paws?
        Motorcycle sound... no.. what? "Was that a FART?"
-1:24   First blood. Rasvar farted! People picture motorcycles leaving trails of fire.
            Poink "OOoooooh his Ass Cheeks went BumBumBUM BUM...sounds just like a drum.."
1:25    Yappy "What, no Fruitcake?" reads cards from many people, happy Xmas music plays.
        Poink "Am I the only one who things Mistletoe is a disease?" Christmas Microbes.
        Bandit got a Card! "I can't read, cause I'm a dog!"
1:26    Mutt tries to Shazam the song playing, but it didn't work. "What's Shazam?"
            Iphone app that identifies songs.
http://www.shazam.com/music/web/pages/iphone.html (I just picked this up, thanks!)
        Usually works, uncanny. Fillyjonk's card. Console freezes again.
1:27    Poink "And the card says.. we are the IRS.. pay us.. or we keel you."
        Freeze time. Rinky Dink voices play for about 30 seconds. Nobody moves.
        Caroline wants people to knock themselves out with eggnog. "THANK YOU CAROLINE!"
        Mutt thinks there's much less channel lag today. "Everyone in channel, I want you
            to hit '4' right after I hit '4', I'm gonna see how long the lag is.
        "1...2...3......" Mutt stops, then checks the channel "WOW! That's instant! There
            was no lag!" Channel goes 444444444FORE44444FOUR4444444444FOR44444444
        Mutt "There is no lag, the lag is gone, we are totally LIVE!!" People woo!
            "ALIVE! ALIVE ALIVE, like a freaking FREAK SHOW!"
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/149284
1:29    Poink "(New York) Liveh, frum nuw Yerk.. it's.. Sundae Nite."
        Ezra "I saw Saturday Night Live last night, it was SO FUNNY!" Rasvar tells the
            channel they can stop with the 4's.
        Mutt notes he tried that lag thing with Europe before. Rasvar "Ok guys.. GUYS..
            if you DON'T STOP.. if you DON'T STOP.. if you DON'T STOP I'm shutting the
            show down.."
        Some people are more lagged than others. Ezra and Mutt whisper "Don'tstopdon'tstop
        Rasvar "OK! I'm shutting the show down!"
        <TOTALBLACKNESS.EEP> "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!" Screams everywhere. "Goodnite everybody!"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJIi57bT5Wg
        SINKHOLE II: YES, IT'S NOT OVER YET. Rinky dink voices keep chirping in background
        Stage returns. People Yay! Mutt "And we're back. Happy New Year everyone!"
            Poink "Wish you could have seen the rest of the Christmas Show, it was great!"
        Skunk card "You did it, HURRAY! Here's to the sweet small of success."
1:30        Mutt "Yatta!" From Garrison Skunk, watches since Episode 6.
            Ezra wows, that was around the year 2000?
        More cards, JRek P.S. "I dare you to sing THIS version of the song on your show"
        Yappy "So I will let *POINK* start singing it." Poink "(Scrooge) If you insist.."
        Poink starts singing silk of 12 Days of Christmas on his own.
        "On the 12 days of Grossmas my True Love Gave to me.."
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd8pgeNhIso
1:31    12 Yellow Snowballs
        11 Farting Reindeer
        10 Santa Buttcracks
        9  Moldy Fruitcakes
        8  Sweaty Longjohns
        7  Frozen Boogers        Poink blinks "...(wonder) That's gross.."
        6  Smelly Stockings
        "And what's this one..?" 555555.. Bathroom Rings!
        4  Mooning Elves
        3  Chunky Eggnogs
        Tinsel, Hair or Balls?
        "And a.. another page.." Flip.
        Poink pauses to stare at it ".. And a SECOND CARROT on the snow-man!.."
        Chuckling, yays! Yappy catches Rasvar checking Sports again.
        Rasvar HEYS! "It's playoffs for Fantasy Football! I had to check the score--"
            Poink "--DO YOU HAVE A TEAM NAMED THE MONGOLIAN CLUSTER-'F'S!??" "No, mine's
            the Gainsville Dead Tivos.."
        Poink "By the way, don't -EVER- -DARE ME- because I -WILL- -DO IT-!" Yappy "What,
            put a second carrot on the Snowman?" "Oh I will do that too." Mutt dares him.
1:32    Even more cards! Rasvar finishes checking the score. "I'm up by 64 points!"
            Poink "I think Carrot got it right in channel.. it's the Cluster-Fluffs!"
        (Alternate Spellings > Being PC) Up Next.. TUMINATOR!
        Poink has a warning for the Channel "And I *MEAN THIS*.. here's the thing about
            this Tuminator. Now, you're -going to know- who did the first song, you're
            going to know -what the song is-.. but if you GONG it (ie, type the name and
            artist in channel, forcing the second song to be played in its entireity)
            ... the second song is *SO HIDEOUS*.. *SO BAD*..."
1:33    ".. *SUCH A WRECK TO THIS BAND'S CAREER*.. you will be Burned in INFAMY in the
            CHANNEL..And I'm gonna LOVE IT! So.. watch the channel.. and see who the
            ASSHOLE is gonna be.. because THAT'S WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN, MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
        Mutt "Modern Day Delila, by KISS." Nope. Poink "I found worse." Mutt is shocked.
        Rasvar covers the rules, name artist and song in channel to kill it, but then you
            MUST listen to ALL of the second song. Very rarely does the first song
            survive, allowing you to mercifully kill the second one.
        Rasvar "And so without further Ado.." <TUMINATORMUSIC.MP3!!!> People jump!
        Rasvar ".. it's Tuminator Time :)" Mutt "I haven't heart that in.. forever!"
        Poink "None of us have! We thought it was lost!" Rasvar "I found it :)"
1:34    SONG #1: "I want you to Want Me" by Cheap Trick
        Poink "ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!" (Huh? What? It was someone else..) Song dead after
            5 seconds of the title being in the lyrics. Rasvar oh boys..
        Poink notes the second song was "The Death of this band's career.. goodbye!"
        Rasvar "Now remember who you have to kill here.." Poink "His name is Colbeck!"
        Rasvar "... you now have to listen to this entire thing...."
            Poink "And you won't believe it once you hear it.." Here comes the pain.
(CUE at 0:35! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSgnhCmwIfo )
        SONG #2: "....(riff)*TRANSFORMERSSSSS!!!*(riff)*TRANSFORMERSSSSS!!!***"
        The Fallen have their Revenge. "More than meets the EEEEEEYYYYYYEEEeeeeEEE!"
1:35    Mutt moshpits. Ezra hangs himself? Mutt "NOOOOOO!!!" "*TRANSFORMERSSS!!!!!*"
        Ezra falls. The stage slowly Transformers Mutt "So THIS is Cheat Trick?"
        Rasvar starts pushing buttons.
1:36    Camera starts following the Helicopter again, following the flashing red and blue
        Poink finally kills it, as the good side of his nature shines throught.
        Poink "That was actually in the new movie." Mutt "The NEW movie?" "Revenge of the
            Fallen orwhateverthey'recalled.." Mutt "For REAL?" "Yep."
        Mutt ".....uuuuuhhhhggg..." lists a bit. Poink "I didn't bother to go see it."
(NSFW!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFuTdCmCgcc
1:37    Christmas Traditions? Mutt votes for those little cookie things.
        <TOTAL-SCREEN-COLOR-INVENSION> Everything glows with beautiful radiation.
        Mutt "We can all eat COOKIES!" earbangs. Rasvar's pushing buttons again.
            Poink looks at himself looking at himself "I look like a goat."
        Mutt enjoyed the Sparkling Christmas Spectacular, which Disney doesn't do anymore
        Radiation fades. Replaced by double screen vision.
1:38    Ezra's story. Folks didn't have much money, but Mom worked at the department
            store called Weiners. Mutt "..WHAT!? You MOM worked at a WEINERS?" "Yes.."
        "They only sold clothes and shoes, that's it." Mutt "Wait a minute.. what do
            Weiners have to do with clothes and shoes?" Blitz "What do DICK'S have to do
            with Sporting Goods?" Poink "What do Krystals have to do with hamburgers?"
1:39    Ezra anyways.. Mom was able to take broken ornaments and things home.
            Santa claus that looks EXACTLY like the one burned in National Lampoon's
        Ezra often kid Burned Santa because he thought it looked cheap.
        Mom sends care package years late 'I thought you'd want one of your old
            ornaments on the tree' and in it is the Burned Santa.
1:40    Ezra opens the box.. and all these memories come flooding back. Burned Santa
            is now a treasure.
        The Helicopter flies around in front of the stage! Ezra puts his Santa at the
            top of the tree now. "Since he's as old as I am."
        Poink notes that Ezra just told the world and YouTube that his Mom gift-wrapped
            Weiners. People argh. Rasvar cackles.
1:41    Weiner's are still open. The helicopter is stuck behind the stage.
        Mutt "I have a queston! WHY WOULD ANYONE NAME THEIR STORE WEINERS!??" "It was
            the guy's last name. OW!" Helicopter scores a critial hit in a sensitive
            spot, and Bandit pounces! Mayhem behind the stage, people laughing.
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qIQxV2Bpmg
        Rasvar cackles "The humanity! Oh the Humanity!" Mutt "Ezra's been fixed!"
        Ezra "(high falsetto) I got Neutered for Christmas!"
1:42    Falsetto chorus of "All I want for Christmas are my two front nuts."
        Tone changes at the end to Cthuhlu-deep-voice-speak. Poink "What, do they
            attach with velcro?"
        Ezra "(regular voice)I did NOT get Bob Barkered!" Poink "No, you got Ed McManoned!
        SOUND CLIP: "Good thumb! I'm a HORNY Grapefruit!"   o_O   Mutt "... HUH?"
        Rasvar amazes even himself "Wow.." Gaylord Hotel. Why do parents do this to their
            kids? Badcock plaza? (And what about Handcock?)
1:43    Gapers store. Back before people though about such things. Weiner's has been
            around since the 1890's? Mutt "Well today, Mr. Manage, it manes 'Penis'. So
            you have a store named 'Penis."
        The Gaylord Badcock Weiner store. Yappy keeps playing with the helicopter.
1:44    Poink "..there's also a gay bar called Flaming Pricks.." Ezra "And how do you
            know this?" "Cuz it's owned by Tod Flamin and Nick Pricks.."
        Lawyer Associations are fun. Best Christmas presents?
        Mutt starts working on his 4th blue vine.
        Ezra votes for his Apple ][e computer. Poink points out Rasvar got an Apple ][*c*
        Poink "Which is better?" Rasvar "(confident) The 2C is better" Ezra heys!
<Background> http://www2.b3ta.com/heyhey16k/ (Video is AWESOME!)
1:45    The E is older than the C? Which came first, the Apple or the Windows?
        Ezra gives the Progression of Windows. Xerox Altos, purchased by Apple, became
            the Lisa, which became the Mac, which made GUI popular, Mutt "GOOEY?"
            Graphical User Interface. Microsoft constructs copycat Windows.
            Mutt "Stupid Microsoft, stealing everything.." Rasvar "Gooey??..."
1:46    Guests were expected, but aren't here? Rasvar notes Windows 3.1 blew him off, so
            he's used Linux ever since.
        YingYangs at work. Mutt notes if folks make a No Show when supposed to be a guest,
            it means that someone else had to be turned down, so it's worse than being a
            now show at work. Mutt nods "And we slash your tires."
        Juno and Huskers are late? Mutt "You're tires are going flat." Ezra "Need to call
            and let us know what's going on!" Mutt "We hate slashing tires.. it dulls
            our blades."
(Note: Later on they call and say they planned to be there NEXT show, communications
    breakdown.) "And I hate sharpening."
1:47    Poink tries to remember favorite gift.. says he doesn't get a lot? Ezra notes
            he gots a lof of Matchbox Car tracks. "I got my ass beat with those!" "And
            you LOVED those!"
        Mutt got a Texas Instruments computer. Yappy "I would LOVE to see what you
            programmed!" "I made the same word go over and over and over!"
        Trash80's vers Texas Instruments? Mutt made a guy dancing. "And it took half a
            day to program it in."
1:48    Mr. Bojangles. Poink says he remembers it? Yappy "Syntax error in 30! Syntax
            error in 60! Syntax error in 80!" people shudder.
        GoSub errors. Yappy "For without each in line 30!" Poink tries to make numbers
            scroll down the screen.
1:49    Poink "I hated that." Yappy divides by Zero. Mutt "Can I put Basic programming on
            my resume?" Ezra "Illegal if=then statement!" Poink thinks cherry phosphates
            will get you higher. Mutt "Slash / Go."
        Modems and you. Ezra "My friends were very serious hackers at the time."
        Mutt "How can you be a very series hacker when they just came out?" Ezra "They
            got into systems that they weren't supposed to be in.."
        Hacking as bragging rights vs. Hacking to steal stuff, as it is today.
1:50    Ezra "Where could you go.. what could you get into.. and what did you have to DO
            to GET there?" Poink "What could you do with a BA in English?"
        Ezra "I had a friend who hacked into an IBM payroll system." Mutt "Are you
            SERIOUS?" "Yep, and he left a -little- -tiny- -note-." "And he is.. now in
            prison?" "Nope, he's not.. he got away with it."
        (Shall. We. Play. A. Game.?) Ezra notes it was a long time ago, statue of
            limitations is your friend. Guy helped them by telling where the security
            hole was.
        Mutt "A little post-it?" "Sort of." "How nice.." "It printed out on the Vice
            President's paycheck."
        Juno and Huskers are in channel, thought they were coming next week instead of
            this week? Poink remembers looking up on the website, they're coming the
            27th. Oops.
1:51    Mutt "Yappy's not checking his own website!"
        Ezra announces another castmember is here! Mutt "YOU DON'T MEAN!?...."
            Mutt and Ezra "YES WE DO!.." Ezra "THE ONE AND ONLY..." Poink "I E CLEM!"
            Blitz "Who?" Ezra "The One and Only ITCHYBUTT is here!"
        People YAY! Mutt "Got to see a doctor about those worms.."
        Yappy plays Santa! He starts giving out gifts
            "For: POINK! Because he likes to blow things up!" Poink "This is not gonna
            bode well.."
        Stagehands strip away the outer shell.. then.. "Because I like to blow things up,
            you gave me a box of CheezeIts?" Mutt "I bet there's not CheezeIts in there."
1:52    Some sort of kits? JR ohs! "These are some of those Inflatible Animal balls.."
            Instant joke. JR sighs "Hang on, I'll show you.."
        JR /Poink takes the backside of a Frog in his mouth (o_O) and starts blowing, and
            blowing, and BLOWING, as the frog swells like a monster from Dig Dug (O_O).
        Yappy starts naming names of people 'into' inflation. Mutt arghs! Yappy "Well his
            character does that!"
        JR shows the doomstretched Frog to everyone "How much more do I go?"
            Mutt "In..flatiphiles in channel.. how far should we go..?" JR shows it off.
            Yappy mentions a few, including Oz Kangaroo.
1:53    JR opens his fingers, and the thing ALMOST jumps away, deflating.
        Mutt "They want bigger.. they want it to *POP*" JR "Do I have to blow up the tiger
            too?" doesn't want to pop a gift.
        Yappy Santa returns "For Ying Yang, in his quest to become Devin 2.0" "YAY!"
            Ying Yang blinks. "Oh.. I'll be right back." changes puppeteers?
        JR blows up the tiger and then shows everyone its ____hole.
        JR starts using the hole to talk through. Ok, that's just weird.
1:54    YingYang gets two magic tricks! Ezra "Two magic tricks.. and a lot of blowups for
            Poink!" All from Garrison? "The third gift from Garrison.."
        Yappy "TO: Mutt.." Poink "..How many rings did you loose?.." ".. because he likes
            to smell." Fragile?
1:55    Mutt gets his gift, ask channel "What's your favorite Christmas TV show?"
        Poink picks "A Wish for Wings that Work."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5QI4ESioUM Opus the Penguin! Chapter 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7T70O7GgwU&feature=channel Chapter 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3emUZ64OeY&feature=channel Chapter 3
        Lots chime in. "Bloom County!" "They never rerun it, do they?" "It's all on DVD."
        (Conviently ignore that Copyright thing at the start) "It's $5 at Walmart!"
        Ras finds his favorite Christmas gift, but saves it.
        Mutt gets.. OATS? But something within which is not of the Oats.
        Channel - Wonderful Life, Santa Clause Conquers the Martians, A Chrimstas Story
            aka The Red Rider Rifle Movie.
-0:53   And Mutt gets.. FUNONIONS!! Rasvar "FUNonions?!"
1:56    Miracle on 54th Street. "There's something UNDER the Funonions!" Cinnamon Pecan
            Bun? Scented Candle. "I can set that on fire during the Christmas party, and
            it will smell like I was making cookies (sneaky) but I -didn't-!"
        Mutt SNIFFS, gets an extreme reaction to the candle.
        Yappy "To Ezra: Who is always Displaying" "Displaying?" "Displaying around.."
1:57    Ezra unwraps, Rasvar thinks the Tree is going to fall.
        Poink wows "I can't believe nobody brought up Rudolph?" Yappy "I don't like him."
            Poink "I like Rudolph." Mutt "I like Rudolph! Who doens't like RUDOLPH?"
        Ezra gets Toasted Oats.. which probably aren't. Mutt "Big bag of WEED! YAY!"
1:58    Candy.. and "Star Wars PLAYING CARDS!" Mutt hmms "You don't know Ezra at all,
            do you?"
        Rasvar "Did we get the named mixed up on this?" Ezra "I -collect- playing cards!"
        Poink asks Mutt if he's seen the new gift from Lucasarts? Mutt "... the what?"
            "The Ton Ton Sleeping Bag!" "...... OH MY GOSH, REALLY!??" Poink "Find it!
            Look it up online!"
        (*CAN* people make this up?) Enjoy the warmth of your own eviserated riding beast.
        Mutt "You get in through the side, right?" Poink notes the insides are shaped
            like intestines. "You SLEEP on his head.."
        Webpage warp to the TaunTaun Sleeping Bag. Because people are geeky and sick.
1:59    Yappy "For someone's who's been both naughty and nice in 2009.." Poink agrees.
        Rasvar puts HIS favorite present on the screen, the Tin Can Alley!
http://www.skool-days.co.uk/2009/09/tin-can-alley.html (With electric gun)
        Yappy gets an Old Elpaso Soft Taco Bake Dinner Kit! Gas alert.
        The box actually contains Tacos. Compromise between evil and good.
            Mutt "Wasn't that supposed to be kept refrigerated?" Poink "Not anymore."
        One for Simba, needs delivering. "One for.. Bandit! Because he's BanditBandit
            BanditBandit!" Everyone starts shouting Bandit, who comes, looking confused.
2:00    Bandit Cam. Box is still wrapped on the floor, Bandit looks all around, ignoring
            the wrapped box. Ezra "He says 'wait a minute, that's one of the things I'm
            NOT supposed to chew on.."
        Bandit starts carefully checking it out as stagehand opens it.
        High Tea! Yappy "You put it on your dog, and it records what your dog SEES."
            Poink "It's a camera for his collar!" People go nuts! "BANDIT CAM! BANDIT CAM!
2:01    USB, battery operated. People want to try it right now!
        Yappy "Trying to see.. what the catch might me? Which operating system?" People
            thank Garrison for more awesomeness!
        AntiCaptor Bandit-Cam. Seeing what Bandit sees. Mutt wants one of the UP talking
            dog collars.
2:02    Mutt "I'm a talking dog already! And I don't need that stuff."
        JR decodes the instructions.. then finds the devices -charges-, and it will
            take two hours, so it's not for this show.
2:03    Mutt asks what are some things people wanted, but never got? Rasvar "A Lamborgini"
        PC or Mac, but only 5 hours of charge. People want the World, GI JOE aircraft
            carrier. Easy Bake Oven? Poink "I want an Easy Bake Over." "Rufus wanted
            a live kangaroo." Poink "..I want a dead kangaroo. They're easier to have
        Fursuit for Christmas?
2:04    Chubby Pony for Hobbes. Poink "Um, why chubby?" Mutt "So he could ride it.. have
            you seen Hobbes?" Poink ".... wow dude." "What? He's chubby." Rasvar "..woah"
            Mutt "WHAT? Like Chubby's a Bad Thing? Whadyasayin!?"
        Poink "(trying not to laugh) I don't know what I'm saying.. I'm saying we need
            to go to video! :D" "Go to video!"
        Rasvar searches for buttons. Channel still wants things. Motorola drive? "Give
            them time to come down in price!" People want a Poink Plushie? Poink "They
            hard my last podcast.."
        Mutt "From Folksmanis!" Poink "Actually, I go out and take a live ferret, and
            hook it up with.." toys that are too real "It runs around the cries :)"
        (Traitor O_o) Marcus Noble notes some girls LIKE chubby.
2:05    Mutt "Chubby is the new Skinny!" Poink "So.. what's the New Skinny?" "....Beano"
        Pawpet Logo. And some desktop icons. Rasvar "How'd that get there?"
        More button pushing. Anti-technology aura is a go. "It's an -Apple-, (laughs) I
            broke it :)"
2:06    Band jazzes up traditional song, but the rabbit guy really just wants to
            skate with the beautiful rabbit girl. His friends notice, and hmm.
2:07    Santa lands nearby, and the guys have an idea.. HIJACK THE SLEIGH!
        Sweet ride. She likes it! Sant hates it, and goes into Terminator mode.
2:08    Score a hug! Oh oh.. Santa just went Super Saiyan. Giant Snowman abomination, GO!
        Girl still likes the ride. SNOWBALL IMPACT! Falling! Save her!
        Rabbit guy makes a girl Snowman. Snowman jumps for it, dragging Evil Santa
            to his doom.
2:09    Guy gets the girl! Santa is ready to kill someone, but they hand him the reins
            back and he eventually calms down.
VIDEO - THE MUPPETS: RINGING OF THE BELLS (ie Carol of the Bells. If 'mimimi' is caroling)
        An evening of music with: Beaker, Animal, and the Swedish Chef.
        Beaker "Mimimimi..mimimimi...mimimimi..mimimimii..."
        Chef "Derderderder...derderderder...derderderder...derderderder..."
        Animal ".......DING!    DONG....  DING!    DONG....."
2:10    Animal looks at his tamboring "Ding Dong? No, nononono.." way too small.
        "BURN Disi Burchi BURN disi Burchi Burn disi burchi dooon deer deer.."
        Animal makes some clanking noises "mimimiMiMiMiMEMEME ME ME.." Chef wondes what's
            going on.
        Animal returns with dual-wielding BIG bells
        "DING! *ding* DONG! *dong* DING! *ding* DONG! *dong* DINGDONG, DING DONGG!!!"
            Hmm, still not enough. Uh oh.
        Beaker starts Mi-ing with increasing agitation, tries to get Chef's attention,
            more heavy machinery clanging in the background.
        Animal comes back, holding a giant robe. "DING DONG!!!' Church bell, Beaker
            starts to totally freak out. Chef shrugs and keeps on going.
        The bell SUCKS Animal up into the air. Chef freaks now, and runs. Beaker turns
            to watch?
        *DDDDONNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!* The church bell falls, SMASHING OVER Beaker with a huge
            ringing impact that distorts space and time. Which then cracks, Libery Bell
            style, to allow Beaker too emerge, like some sort of alien from a pod. Who
            then pitches forward. Boom.
        Statler and Waldorf (I can't tell them appart) "That was so bad, it locked up
            my computer!" "QUICK! Let's get out of here before it finds the KEY!"
        Hohoho! "No, I mean it." They leave quickly.
        Beaker gets his own recording studio, the Andy Warhol grid treatment, and shows
            how he can play the drums, violin, and metronome all at once.
        And destroy a glass. And set the violin on fire.
2:12    And fry himself with electricity. Cue Statler and Wardorf.
        RL animals sings "Can you do a thing, for me?" with human lips superimposed
            onto their faces.
        "Wish I had a home, for Christmas."
        "Find out about it online, yeah?" fox leaves
http://fliiby.com/file/159255/fjurczfjzx.html (tried searching for this on Youtube? Do it)
        "But this Christmas.. Santa's making something NEW to pull his sleigh.."
        Rudolph's an reindeer/dinsaur hybrid? "We must FIGHT!" "You don't understand,
            SANTA'S A WEREWOLF!" Then things get -really- interesting.
        Werewolf Santa traveling through space "HoHOHo.."
2:15    Dramatic music plays as Evil Santa sends Rudolph out to destroy everyone else.
        The End? "Ok, so that's nor real." "Watch the real thing:"
        "(colorfull) The FLIGHT Before Christmas!" CBS
2:16    Frosty's mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore.
        Another CBS Parody trailer
        VIDEO - FROSTY THE INAPPROPRIATE SNOWMAN (Two and a Half Men version)
        "I've got a rash in my... private area." Laugher "Private? If you get any more
            traffic down there you'll have to open a Starbucks!"
        Frosty stakes out the parking lot of Chuck E Cheese.
2:17    "Name three contributions the Roman Empire made to Civilization."
            Frosty recites "Orgies, wine, and bulimia!"
        More "Happy Holidays"! (Somewhere, Fox News goes on Red Alert) from CBS
        VIDEO: HEY YA! CHARLIE BROWN STYLE, music video of Outkast
        The Peanuts Gang shake it like a Polaroid picture. (Do they still make those?)
2:18    Somehow, I don't see Shroeder and Lucy as putting two and two together.
2:19    Snoppy dances on the piano. Pig Pen on the Cello.
2:20    Charlie goes outside to plant the freaking tree.
2:21    Shroeder and Lucy just stare at Snoopy until he stops dancing. Then Lucy makes
            her move.
        Credits "Used without permission. Please don't sue us. venisproductions.com "
        The Jam gun shoots The Abominal Snowman. "Grraaaaa... AHHHHHHH!"
2:22    Lots of blood. Intro video of the cast. "CSI: North Pole"
        Who Done it. Feline "I figure you're the ice man, from the FBI?" Snowman "Ice man?
2:23    "Something about this little doll.. was worth dying for."
        Little girl doll is jealous.. and creepy.
2:24    Another parody trailer, from the CBS EYELAB!
http://cbseyelab.com/ (Just going to link these guys, because they're AWESOME!)
        Only the first 5 seconds or so "It has come to my attention, that..." (CUT!)
        Piano performance of Pyotr Ilich Tchaikovsky, in a fursuit!
2:25    Tetris doom music! Piano is flawless, inspite of keying with paws.
2:26    Bucktown takes a bow, then waves!
        From the animated Christmas Special. Cue the song.
        "Don't expect a miracle.. unless you help it.. to be.." Rankin Bass, Hobbit folks
2:27    SUDDEN CUT, on to .. the NEXT video..
        Somewhat less traditional. Vixen (a guy reindeer?) does a song in a stand-up
            comedy bar populated by elves, wearinly only a shirt and looking middle aged.
        Rudolph's famous. "When he walks in the place.. everyone knows his face, he always
            sleeps with the prettiest doe.."
        Vixen starts to rant, holding nothing back. "So let's get one thing clear, I'm
            MORE than just a deer.. I'm part of the Original Eight!"
        "DAMN IT, I'M 'VIXEN'!" kicks over the mic stand with a hoof. "I'm I'm FIXIN
            to kick some reindeer booty.."
2:28    "Damn it I'm Vixen.. and this Christmas Song is for me.."
        SUDDEN CUT (What? WHY?) Next video..
        VIDEO: DOG STUCK TO A FIRE HYDRANT (Can't find?)
        Cartoon dog sees a kid with his tongue stuck to a pole "HALP!" Dog laughs.
        Dog passes a fire hydrant, blinks, stops and looks at it, then gets a sneaky idea.
        Lifts a leg, pees... "Ahhh..." Freeze. Crunch. Blinks again. Tugs. "Ah.. NUTS!"
        Chatters "Try not to freeze your winky off this winter!"
        Visit Sugarqube.com for Animated Greeting cards, etc
(The website closed down, they're now at:
        "I'm Mister White Christmas.. I'm Mr. Snow.. I'm Mr. Icicle.. I'm Mr. 10 below.."
(You know what, they came out with a new version in 2008, for "A Miser Brother's
    Christmas". It's more combat intensive. I'll go with Obama and say Change is good.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIPUi2BWNJs (Starts at 7:59, couldn't find clip by itself)
        Spectical nerd mouse learning "There's more to the world that meets they eye."
2:32    Clip is accelerated, moving fast. Believing what you can't see.
2:33    Moves from super-fast to very, very slow. Is the console doing that?
        Weird alient reverberations o_o. Calling the mothership?
        Mouse gets eaten by four-leaf clover.
    (Wow, this video is being hunted down. If you can find it anywhere, grab it!)
        Warped version of the classic. After fixing the Tree, the gang realizes they
            can fix *ANYTHING* just by surrounding it and waving their arms.
        Lucy "You blockhead, this whole time we could have been making money!"
2:35    Charlie Brown wants them to set everything back. "What about the REAL
            Meaning of Christmas?!"
        Shroeder gets turned into the Beattles?
        Linus thinks the lesbians are a bad idea, recites some verses.
            Lucy "YOU BLOCKHEAD!" Linus calls down lighting, blasting the golden calf
            by the swimming pool.
2:36    A few things left to change. Tom Browkaw gets turned into Brad Pitt.
            Group photo "MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!" they start singing while Brad
            does the news.
        VIDEO: "CHRISTMAS IS MY TIME OF YEAR" by the Monkees.
        Beattles wananbees try looking for a tree, trying out bicycles.
2:37    Men hugging, carrying each other on their shoulders.  It gets cut.
        VIDEO:   VIDEO:   VIDEO:  Rasvar's pushing buttons again.
2:38    VIDEO: SOME CRAZY ANIME THING? "Chinese Christmas Song.. BUFFALAXED!"
        "Jingle Bells.. In Chinese.. this is Obviously not a translation!"
        ***NSFW*** lyrics as happy happy joy joy cartoon kids enjoy a sleigh ride!
        Fun with deliberate mistranslations.
        Famous tune! Everyone sing with the Children's Chorus!
            "Poop a cup of shit!"
            ".. and sauce the sister shop!.."
            ".. high bitch she workin here!.."
            ".. watching you push mop!.."
            "Marlene shes sucking cock!.."
            ".. here season low priced ham..."
            ".. Come sink my bus, the chef, i love I'm marching on a child!"
        ****BLUE SCREEN EMERGENCY VIDEO CUT**** (Yep, it's very, very, very dead.)
(I did manage to find the real, non-corrupted version. It does, however, have fewer hits.)
        Rasvar tries something else.. pushes more buttons.
        Robot Bear "It's ChristsmaAAAaaAAaaaaAAASSS!" Robot snowman "WooooAH!"
        Robot santa shows off his butt. Mrs Claus is preganant?
2:39    Super frantic high-energy sugar penguins, dwarves, kissing front lawn reindeer.
        Another video cut.
        VIDEO: INDIAN (as in, India) JINGLE BELLS
        A very Eastern style take on the traditional Christmas song, even though it's
            still in English. Cartoon Santa wonders where the snow came from?
2:40    The rocking horse bull doesn't seem pleased to have the Fat Man and 2 girls on
            his back. HEY!
        RL dogs gets a head start on the Christmas decorations. Sort of.
        They actually do get ornaments on the tree! Nice.
2:42    No way.. a dog climbs a LADDER to put on some tinsel?
        Dog puts the presents under the tree, and only play with them a -LITTLE-.
2:43    www.kutysauli.hu (If you can read Hungarian)
        Dog waits for their humans to return, read to surprise them!
        "We wish you a Merry Christmas!"
2:44    Super high-speed time-lasp photograph of decorating a Christmas Tree.
        Music "Dark Disguise" by Solar Powered People.
2:45    Poink "And there's the kitchen!" people wave, having received foodages.
            Herbie "(deep) Everyone is Eating..."
        Back to the stage. Rasvar "Everything is backwards from before.." Poink "I noticed
        Poink Ohs! "It's Christmas." laser eyes flash at you "Anyway :)"
        Herbie thanks Blitz for the German Stew.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/69325
        Mutt "Didn't sober me up a bit, though." KP "Do you know what TIME it is?"
            Mutt "Cause it's German stew.. what time is it?" Ras votes for Howdy Doodie.
        KP "I think it's time.. for a Pawpet Gift Exchange!"
            Poink "We wish you some hairy fish nuts, we wish.."
        7 Castmembers, 7 Gifts. One person to Pick them All.
2:46    White Elephant time, take one, or steal another! Poink "The person who gets #1
            gets to go #2!"
        Mutt is having a Rich Food induced slumber. Poink "If you think it's bad now,
            wait till the Holidays.." Mutt zzzzzzz
        Bandit's eating the helicopter while people debate.
2:47    KITCHEN CAM, Yappy goes first, #4. Ying Yang get "E!" "3" Ras "He has number E!"
        Bandit hides? Rasvar "Ah, poor Bandit.. he's hiding under the.."
        Ras suddenly coughs as Herbie gets #7 "Wha..? OH! *coughs* GOOD GOD!"
2:48    This time, it really WAS the dog? Ras thinks it was Bandit or JR.
            JR "Bandit.. GOD DAMN! *coughs*" Escapes into the kitchen.
        JR is #2 (insert joke here) Rasvar is #6! (Insert TV's "The Prisoner" joke here)
        Blitz is #1 (Sphere-inflated animals bounce around, growling, and attack people)
2:49    Blitz goes first, while a faction votes to get Bandit out of the house.
            Mutt "He's gonna poop on the carpet!"
        Bandit returns, and sits on POINK. JR "Get off Poink.. Get off Poink.. GET OFF
            POINK...!" Ezra tells Bandit to butt-scoot. "He has Poink in a head-lock!"
2:50    Blitz opens a bottle of Manachevitz wine. Poink "By the way, here's what's
            going on in front of the stage."
        Black screen. Then Bandit dutifully sitting on Poink, looking up curiously.
        Ras pushes more buttons. For a moment, a Nutcracker glares back at you, evilily.
2:51    JR *IS* #2, and has the control. He tosses the number card back to KP. KP "Ah!
            Right in the mouth!" JR "That's not the FIRST TIME that's been said!"
        Yin Yang ews. JR opens a box from Yappy.. "You have gotta be kidding me.. this
            is NOT what I think it is..?"
        KP "You just got a roll of toilet paper!" "No.. that would be useful.."
2:52    Opening the box takes some power tools. Yappy "This is probably something that
            will get stolen from you.. it's a Kenwick D7 battery charger."
        Bandit's not finished yet. Poink is doomed. Ras OUGHS!
        JR isn't impressed? Mutt "Don't you have any D7 batteries?" "My adult toys' gottem
        YinYang's puppetter Brace Bear asks Blitz if
            he's a wine drinker? Blitz shrugs. "He doesn't know if he's a wine drinker,
            so I'm going to help him out and steal the wine."
2:53    Rasvar pushes buttons, then jumps as LOUD applause reverberated through the stereo
        Brace chugs wine for the camera. Blitz goes for another cylinder.
        Danny Dingo sends in more Christmas Carols on a card. Blitz opens his present
            to find.. "What IS that?" JR "It's a BONG!"
        Mutt "Holey Smokes! I want it!" Nope, it's a lamp?
2:54    Chimey music plays in the background. Sonic God says Merry Christmas in message.
        Yappy's turn. Tries to figure out of Herbie's gift is chicken bones.
            Mutt "It's not chicken bones! I swear!.. It's turkey bones!"
        Yappy doesn't want any chicken bones. "It's NOT chicken bones, it's funny!" "Funny
            to you :P" "It's funny to Everybody, and TOPICAL!"
2:55    Yappy passses, Mutt still assures him "It's not chicken bones.. that was last
        Yappy suspects they're Green, Neoprene shorts? Rasvar suddenly starts cackling
            as Yappy tries to identify it.
        Lincoln-Berries, from IKEA!
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTJEtMSuMqg (Johnathan Coulton rocks)
            Yappy "What the hell are Lincoln-Berries?"
2:56    KP is #5. Rasvar "We made an IKEA run yesterday."
        KP takes the large, flat envelope. "Free Buffet at CC's pizza.."
2:57    Bandit Farts AGAIN! JR "... GOD DAMMIT!..." Rasvar "He's fartin' all over Poink!"
        KP gets a Chuck Norris TShirt! People WOO! KP "I don't need a weapon.."
            Mutt "... I *AM* one!"
        Rasvar *IS* #6. "I'm taking the charger!" A man in control of his own destiny.
        JR has to go get something else. He is now.. the New #2.
            JR steals the wine. The heck with #1. Rasvar "DARNIT!"
2:58    Brace (YinYing's puppeteer) gets to pick something else now. Goes for a new one.
            A collection of Christmas Cups, and a Corky Rudolph.
        Mutt #7 steals the booze! JR steals the roll of quarters?
        Brace gets to chose again, gets Danish Cookies. Bottles tops you can put on
            soda cans to keep the carbonation in?
3:00    #1 has the final say. Blitz must choose between his IKEA lamp.. and anything else.
            Elects not to steal Yappy's berries.
3:01    Christmas music intensifies for The Final Choice. Goes for the wine.
            KP "I'm glad I got that.. that went around more than anything!"
        Herbie returns from outside, to find himself stuck with the IKEA Bong lamp.
3:02    Herbie arghs, no more wine tonight. Yappy "Why? This lamp was MADE for you!"
            Poink sings a chord of the IKEA song.
3:03    Merry Chrismtas music of peace and love. Hugh returns, blinged out in 60's gear?
            Hugh talks about peace and love as angels sing "It is time.. for forgiveness"
        Ezra "We forgive you for existing." (Angels sing) Hugh "Bandit, forgive me for
            farting and blaming it on you." Round of laughs. Mutt "I.. KNEW IT!"
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/86596
        Hugh "I was.. flatulent." Mutt "He flippered." "Flipflipflipflip.. I look gay."
            KP "You ARE gay." Ras cackles. Hugh "I look Liberache gay!"
        Ezra "You are a flaming homosexual ManeTTE." "Yes ^_^" Man on Manette action?
        (Angels keep singing) Last call for art jams. Stagehand gives Hugh a cape.
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/65330
        Rasvar "(low and sinister) EGG-NOG..."
        Mutt reads channel answers. "turkey-minced-pie-beer-pastries-*PUSSY*-?..."
            Tamales, coleslaw, lasagna, enchaladas, cream rolls, ham, ham, ham...
            Mutt "I like the green-bean cassarole that KP makes." KP ohs "I'll make some
            for Christmas Day." Hugh votes for Sauteed mushrooms. Mutt yucks, plans to
            buy pumpkin pie.
3:05    Apple pie, lemon pie. Mutt tries out the lamp. Wow "That is.. definitely.. a
            lamp." Ezra wants to put fringe and a high-heel on it, Christmas Story style.
        Tacky Xmas presents. Mutt "You know, I've never been to Ikea?" Hugh "WE have."
        Rasvar swears they went there just for the meatballs. Mutt actually did go to
            one "I wanted to buy a CUP. They don't SELL a plastic CUP in the entire
            store!" Rasvar nods "They sell FURNITURE! They don't sell cups :)"
3:06    Others chim in, they do, but only glass cups. Mutt "What the hell kind of IKEA
            is this?.."
        Rasvar sees a room at IKEA, ohs. "This looks nice." Hugh uhuhs "This looks like
            what would happen if a guy in a trailer park got money!"
        Mutt "I thought IKEA was just a giant home department from Walmart?" Hugh "It's
            not even that good." "You'd find cups.."
        Still, gotta love the meatballs. No more hour waits either. Lincoln berries.
3:07    Hugh shows people Lincolnberries, or threatens to.
        Rasvar "Hey, I followed the rules. Supposed to be less than ten bucks."
            Ezra "Less than -$20-." Ras ohs.. laughs maniacly.
        Stagehand holds up Lincoln Berries for your perusal.
        Mutt goes into more Christmas messages.
3:08    Lots of people say Merry Christmas. "Steal the Kenwick D7 battery charger for me!"
        Ezra has an annoucement about Yappy's schedule. "He's solidified his schedule
            for next year.." Mutt yays! "He's employed!"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G29Cz5oxA3A
3:09    Ezra "He's employed, and his schedule's not AS bad as it could have been."
        Pawpet Show will be starting one hour later with new schedule to reflect when
            Yappy can get there.
        Channel spammer gets kicked. Ezra continues, were afraid show might have to go
            off the air if Yappy had to take a second shift, glad his new schedule
            allows the show to continue.
        Working 4 to Midnight and only having Tuesday and Wednesday off would suck.
3:10    Next year, things start at 6PM Eastern.
        Poink "(preacher-like) Everybody in channel.. join me in a quick verse of Yappy's
            favorite song.. just to celebrate." inhales "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh
            Christmas Tree.. Yappy works for Dosh-bags."
        (Angels are still singing) Mutt "What about the Rapid T-Rabbit and Radiolawn
            shows?" FPS won't be streaming them, but something's in the works.
        Mutt yays for time-slot competition! Show still four hours long.
3:11    Mutt "So it'll go from 6 to... 10? Whew.. almost got a 9 in there."
            Ezra "SIX to NINE Dude! WEEEW!" ducks down, taking the red hyrant with him.
        Other shows pushed ahead too. Mutt "How LONG does this show GO?" Poink "Our show
            or their show?" Mutt "Well, it's like this big network of shows.."
        Poink notes they're the NBC of Furry. Mutt "Do I need a TV Guide?.."
        (That might help, I dont know the show lineup either o_o)
        6-10 Pawpet Show
        10-11 The Sonic God Radio Uniferse
        Yappy "You forgot, there's like four shows BEFORE us." Mutt "I don't know
            any of these shows.. I don't watch this show."
3:12    Wolf's radio show. Mutt "So we're listening to.. what?" Yappy "It's just radio."
            Back and forth. KP finally calls it Wolf Radio. Mutt "Thank you KP!"
        Channel doesn't all know the shows either.
http://pawpet.tv/pre-show?s[]=fps&s[]=pre&s[]=show (info only)
(I *think* this is the lineup before the show, but I usually link to the FPS Watch
    page, wish there was a button or something with the whole hourly lineup)
        Most channel people chime in 'No' for knowing what shows are on and when.
3:13    Wolf's radio show. "That starts at?" Yappy "Undetermined time."
        Radiolawn. Possibly taking a break? Undetermined.
        Rapid T Rabbit, streamed by someone else. Poink "And just for those people that
            don't know, Rapid T Rapid is a show featuring a rabbit." 5:30-6:00
            Yappy notes that's up in the air too.
        All that's sure is that FPS is moving, and the shows behind it are moving too.
            Rasvar "This show is the guerilla in the room, all the others have to move
            around it."
        Mutt "Nobody else matters, just Pawpet! Shove your.. throw your computer out the
            window as soon as our show is off!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsfwVkKBSCk&feature=related (hhehheehAAHAHAAhHHEEEEE!)
3:14    Megaplex gets pushed around by other cons, what goes around..
        Poink "I just want to clarify something.. Rasvar? You're the big guerilla in
            the room."
        Yappy notes the other shows go on until 2am "I'm in bed by 9:30!"
        Mutt keeps whispering subliminal messages in the background "Only our show
            matters.. no one cares.."
<Background *NSFW*> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/268853
            Poink looks up "You're like a demonic Jimminy Cricket! 'I want to donate
                to the church.. -getahookergetahookergetahooker-.. I want to donate.."
        Fun with subliminal messages. KP "Buyanlcdtv! Buyanlcdtv!" Mutt "buyadvdplayer.."
            "hideff..hideff.." Sound clip "SHUT UP YOU FOOL!!" YinYang "Give it to Mach.."
            "HOW DO YOU KNOW WE CAN TRUST.......(growing drama).......**THEM**??"
        Ren and Stimpy finish. Mutt "...bluray..."
        Chillimouse has a show too, lots of shows. (Just don't know when they're on?)
3:15    Sarek DJ's. Mutt notes they still don't know when and where to find them?
            Poink "They may go to DVD only."
        Poink notes, after the comments they made tonight, Yappy might be filling up
            Pudding Cups anyway. Poink "He may be working for Bill Cosby!"
        Poink "This is probably gonna hurt.. someone keeps asking.. what is YAP TV?"
        Ezra "YAP TV is the time Yappy uses to test BEFORE the Radio Lawn."
            Rasvar "That will be canceled.." Yappy "Well, maybe not.."
3:16    Yappy "It's Music Video, it's like MTV." Rasvar "Are you still showing that
            Bollywood kit video you used to show all the time?" People blank.
        Ezra "So Rasvar watches it!" Rasvar "No, No! You gotta remember.. who was always
            here in the house, when he was already playing it?" Ezra "NOT ME!"
        Yappy notes show would start at six.. he MAY get home at five, but traffic is
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/250910
3:17    Blitz lives there now. "He can let us in!" Poink "You see, it's not the same as
            it was with Rasvar.. *Blitz* has already admitted that he's a human being,
            and he has rights.." Rasvar cackles. Poink "The thing with Rasvar.. it took
            a long time to train him.. but when he finally did, basically what would
            happen is Yappy would leave a sandwich on the board, and then Rasvar would
            take it, it would flip a switch, and it would start to show!" Rasvar lols.
            "And Blitz has said 'I have dignity' and he won't do it."
        Rasvar's laughs sound almost tearfull. Poink "I'm riding with Ras.. I'm SO dead."
            People not. Yappy notes Rasvar was used to Windows! Poink "And back in
            Ras's day we had computers made of Legos!"
http://blog.pcnews.ro/2007/08/10/lego-day/ (Duo-core? The whole thing is six-peg!)
        Ezra "POINK! You still DO have a computer made of Legos!" Yappy notes the
            Amiga used to fall apart in pieces like that if you punch the side.
        (Somewhere, Eric Schwartz gathers an army of Transformers) Rasvar "We had
            THESE GUYS!" holds up an old Amiga for ridicule.
3:18    Or is it a Compac? Poink "That's what we had, the Compac pizza box." Rasvar "The
            Com-cracks. DANG, this thing weight a TON!"
        Yappy notes that more and more of the devices he has to repair.. "And double-side
            sticky-tapped to the bottom of these, are sheets of LEAD. They put LEAD in
            devices nowadays to make them HEAVIER! Go buy a $2 phone from Kmart, and you
            think 'Wow, that's a nice phone!' until you take it home and take it apart
            and find that it has steel plates in it, to make it HEAVY enough, so it stays
            on the counter when you pick the handset up and walk away and the cord
            springs.. so you don't pull the think off the counter!"
        Poink "Simba's in channel!" Rasvar "... OH!!" Poink "Don't. You. DARE!"
            Ras "Hey SIMBA!" Poink "He's gonna run that video.." "Hey Simba, Simba,
            Simba.. we have some VIDEO!" Poink "I'm dead.. I'm DEAD! I'm DEADI'mDEADI'm.."
3:19    Rasvar "SIMBA! *JR* says he found a VIDEO of YOU while you were SNOWBOARDING!"
            Mutt and Ezra and Ying Yang "YEAH!!" Poink "I'M DEEEAAD!!" runs
        Ezra "(To Simba) JR not only said it was you, but he ran it several times!
            Mutt "We played it again, and again.." Rasvar "Oh, we wanna do it AGAIN!!??"
            Mutt "Can you loop it? I love looping it."
3:20    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6eqpmTLOtI "THERE you GO! It's SIMBA!" Wham.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6eqpmTLOtI Ezra "You know what would be awesome?
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6eqpmTLOtI "Overlap it so the spot STAYS there.."
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6eqpmTLOtI "Is this how you hurt your shoulder?"
        Ezra has a sad annoucement to make "I went to Target.." Mutt "That is sad."
        Ezra picked up a Battleship game, different now? Single double-sided board,
            when you put pegs in one side, it knocks out the other side.
3:21    New version of Battleship is hard to play, pieces keep getting knocked out.
            Milton Bradly goes cheapo.
        Poink assures people the Snowboard Crasher isn't Simba.
3:22    Poink "We actualy do have a video of Simba though.. that guy was on skis. We just
            like to mess with Simba because it's fun."
        Folks want the real vid, but Rasvar lost the video! "You just HAD it!" "I closed
            everything!" Ezra "Why do you close things you're about to open??" "You
            said it was too long!"
        Mutt "Banged-up.com" http://www.bangedup.com/  JR "It's like nine minutes...
            but find Scott in it and show him!" Rasvar urghs. "Urrk Kay fine.."
        Mutt "Two Scotts and a cup!"
        Rasvar brings up the video on Youtube.
        VIDEO: KILLINGTON WEEKEND '09. Ronin Otter, Simba and friends go skiing.
        Halley, keyboardist a Megaplex.
        Simba gets strapped into his snowboard. "This is your third day skiing, at all?"
            Simba "Ever." "Ever?" "On a mountain, ever." "The white stuff your sitting on?
            We call that snow."
3:23    "Snowboarder..snowboarder, snowboarder, snowboarder, snowboarder.. Impatient
            Person, and (kids ski out) and Remote Control micro-skiers."
        Ronin waves.
        Skiing cam.. activated! It's all downhill from here.
        Faster.. faster... FASTER... side to side... "You're watching, ESPN WEEKEND!"
        People MST3K it "I hear wind!"   "Zzzzrrroooowwww!"
3:24    Improvised sound effects blur with real ones.
        Jess cam! "And there is Jess!" "Yay, Jess!" Poink "Our favorite pecker!"
            Simba's catching his breath, shot of lodge in background.
            Halley "You look so Dramatical." Simba waves his arms and stuff.
        Poink notes the video is pretty long "But we did want to prove that Simba actually
            does know how to snowboard."
        Mutt "What's the difference between a Hotel and a Lodge?" Poink "Ah.. one stays
            crispy in milk."
3:25    Snowboarder turns, heading right for the tree in front of the camera on a
            kamikazi run. Poink "Thank you, Simba, for being a good sport." Mutt "BOOOSH!"
        Snowboarder turns at last second.
        Poink gives Simba Merry Christmas "Even though he was preoccupied, and could not
            be here tonight." Mutt pops up "He's out having FUN! Enjoying his life. He
            realizes there's only two years left.. Hey what's the date today?"
<Background> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GusLypfx7OQ
        2012 is around the corner. Poink stares "(Simba) ARE YOU IRCing on your
        December 20, 2009. Mutt "So tomorrow is the 21st? Then -tomorrow- is Two Years
            Left." Nobody commissioned the Aztec guy to make a new calendar, so everything
            ends. Support the arts people.
        Poink notes channel is still calling for Roll call "Do we have time?"
        Rasvar waits "Three years!" 2010, 2011, 2012. Mutt ohs "We've got a long wait!
            I can't wait that long!"
        Poink "They want roll call." Ezra "We're not gonna DO rollcall this week, so
            there, NYAH!" Mutt "Meme Me MEEEH."
        Rasvar "FINE.. you want ROLL CALL? I'll give you Fricken ROLL CALL.."
3:26    OH NOs! Poink "You've unleashed the Beast!" Mutt "You unleashed the Fail Whale!"
        (Angels singing) Rasvar "ALRIGHT! Here we go.."
        Rasvar freezes the channel names, then starts reading them in REVERSE. "Zorro,
            Ziggy..." People "aaAAAAHHHH!"
3:27    Rasvar hehes "I'm gonna mangle all your names.." Yin Yang mimics him speaking.
        Rasvar sees himself in channel. "WHAT? Who the hell is using my name.."
3:28    "Kuddlepoop..." OOPS! Rasvar tries to keep going, but keeps laughing.
3:29    Mutt "sssERVED!" "Kira, Showshaw, 'ICantreadrollcall' Yeah you're darn RIGHT.."
            Rasvar finds EagleBeagle in channel "Hey, what are you doin..?"
        Don'tTaseMeBro, DominicTheDonkey "EEE HHHAA, EE HAA!"
3:30    Finds BeagleEagle. Nice touch.
        AnthroDiceClay? "AYouAllSUCK, ATheEnd, AItAgain, AStarWarsHollywoodSpecial,
            ARasvarFailsAtRead, AChristian, AAAzztophasgreatlegs, Pipe and Console!"
        People Yay! "There yah go."
3:31    Mutt "Roll-call's never been read backwards before, ever!"
        Art Jam time! Mutt "Let's erase all the drawings.. do it backwards!"
        Rasvar "It's Art Jam time!? YAPpy!!" Poink "He's laying down with his dog, be nice
            Rasvar "Yeah, but I don't show how he does the Art Jams anymore." "YaPPY!"
        Mutt oks "He's in bed with Bandit? Gross!" Ras "Let's put it this way, if I
            did Art Jams, I'd probably blow up the computer."
        Pros and Cons. Poink "Well Bandit was lonely." "Yeah, but still.."
            Ezra "Bandit got tired of chewing on the helicopter!" Mutt "Bandit wasn't
            THAT drunk, was he?.. to lower himself?... sleep with YAPPY?..."
        Poink "Well, you're assuming something.." rethinkings "I'm not gonna say it, I'm
            gonna get hit." Ezra "You're gonna get hit ANYWAY!" "I'm not gonna say it.."
        (Angels singing) Cold night? Poink "It is a cold night. If you've got a pet, do
            what I do.. set them on fire."
3:32    "They'll keep you warm for days,AND run around the house!" Mutt giggles nervously
        Lighting the Christmas Cat.
        Rasvar still doesn't know why the tree isn't falling over.
            Simba reads rollcall in order people -join- the channel. Poink "You're reading
            the next time you're here!"
        Poink notes "If anybody can do it, Simba can do it." Mutt "He can do anything!"
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/122848
        ART JAMS!
        Bandit gets some doggies wipes. Real item?
3:33    Poink "Do not use them on a stray dog.. use them on a pet that knows you.
        "Poink T. Ferret FPS: A CHRISTMAS STORY" Poink's spectral head in a tophat is
            rising out of the toilet, everything bathes in an errie red glow.
            Mutt "Awesome." Poink "I was proud of that thing ^_^"
        Cast members take turns reading them.
        40. <Methitis_Reinskunk> Rasvar eating, no watching channel
        39. <ColinDaRedNosedFoxtail> SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID(TM) PICTURE!
        38. <Reese_Tora> Wow.. most furries DO dance like the cast of Peanuts, all teh
            basic dance moves are there :<
        37. <BassMan> Oh my God! They killed Yeti! You bastards!
        36. <Sawblade5> Gong this and I'll beat you up
        35. <Stray_Cat> You're a dude named Vixen?
        34. <DL_Leonine> seperated at birth? Heat Miser and Coah McGirk from Home Movies.
        33. <Kamikun> I preferred Snow Miser, but Heat Miser is ok.
                Poink adds ".. in bed!"
        32. <Calbeck> A Very Al Gore Christmas.
                Poink "Meaning that the environment's screwed.."
        31. <Fillyjonk> Goodbye lesbians...       Mutt "In bed."
        30. <Calbeck> The Bible is all fun and games until someone gets turned to salt.
                Mutt "In bed."
        29. <Mouser> The are your Christmas decorations. These are your Christmas
            decorations on drugs. Any questions? .. in bed. "In bed."
        28. <Colley> .. you skip the Scrubs Xmas parody for THIS?" ".. in BED?"
        27. <XypherWolf> You can't gond this; it has puppies in it!  "in Bed!"
        26. <The_Lizard_Rat> For some reason I can see Liesl dancing on a polt to this o.O
                Mutt takes the risk "In bed." Poink "Thank you!"
        25. "That stew didn't sober me up at all.."   Ying Yang "In bed!"
        24  "The guy who has #1 can go #2.. in bed!" Ying "In bed!" Mutt "EW!"
        23  "Yappy just hit his you-know-whats with the cattle prod." Poink almost isn't
                able to finish the "in bed!" part.
        22  "Oh, sure, blame it on the dog." Everyone "IN BED.."
        21  "That's dog talk for "I WANT OUT" Is he pooping, or reading the paper?
                Three people "In Bed!"
        20  <Caroline> WHY AREN'T THE PUPPIES PLAYING POKER!?!  Rasvar "In bed!"
        19  "DON'T YOU HAVE KENWOOD 7D BATTERIES!?!" Laughing "In BED?"
        18  "I know who sent that. Its chicken bones and lard! It's funny and TOPICAL!
                "IN BED" "..in bed!"
        17  "He wants some six.. sure it's not nine?" "IN BED!"
        16  "You can steal Yappy's Linganberries!" "In Bed!" "In Bedhhh..(laughs)"
        15  "Ok, Mutt you can pick a gift or steal one. He's going for the booze, folks."
                "In bed!"
        14  "Bandit, forgive me for farting and blaming you." "IN BED!" Hahahaha
        13  "I'll trade you mu pumpkins for your mushrooms."In bed!..well that's a bargain
        12  "Yes......that's a Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamp." "In bed!"
        11  "Man on Manatee action in bed!"
        10  "No plastic cups!?! What the hell kinda IKEA is this?!?! "In bed" Weird.
        9   <Hest> Danish meatballs beat swedish meatballs. Jus' so ya'll know :P "In bed"
        (The angels are STILL SINGING!)
        8   "Here, let me show Yappy's lingenberries on camera." "In Bed!"
        7   "We're like the NBC of furries." etc
        6   "Oh Christmas tree oh Christmas tree, Oh Yappy works for douchbags."
                Multiple people sing, crack up at the In Bed.
        5   "No one else matters, JUST PAWPET!" "in bed!"
        4   "So.. our show will be a 6 to.....ni-TEN! Almost got a nine in there." IN BED!
        3   "You're like a demonic Jimminy Cricket!" In bed.
        2   "Just to let those who don't know.. The Rapid T. Rabbit Show" is a show..
                about a rabbit." Everyone "IN BED!"
        1 <Mouser> When did Chrismtas specieal become mortal duels between D&D
            elemental planes? IN BED and..
        1 "I Love Loopin it!" IN BED "And.."
        1 <A_YouAllJustLostTheGame> You sound like a drunk jewish elder dude. "IN BED!"
        Poink "AND NUMBER ONE WAS!.."
        1 "Yappy's lying down with Bandit, leave him alone." "... IN BED!!!" "YAY!""
3:36    Poink "It's Christmas, IN BED!"
        Poink "From Milton Bradley!" "YOU SUCK!!" "IN BED!!!!"
3:37 http://pawpet.tv/archives/view/2009/2009-12-20,Atkelar-Atkelar-FoundPorn.png
        Kangaroo dives into a stocking, looking for porn. "I found the porn! Sniff Sniff
            Yappy?! DID YOU WASH THAT SOCK!?"   "..IN BED!!"
        Ezra inflates like a giant butterball. "XMAS DINNER WAS GOOD TO YA, HUH?"
        Group photo! "Have a Merry Christmas!!" Caroline "IN BEEEEED!!!" Bandit squeeks
        Fudgy the Reindeer's Dead Air Timer This Week: "1 min 58 seconds."
            "Just blame Rasvar! :P" Everyone "IN BED!!!"
        Fudgy's Channel GONG Counter - 97 Gongs this week "IN BED!!!!"
        Fugdy "The FPS Rasvar On Console Rating:
        We rated Rasvar on 3 things:
        Figuring out the console: 9/10
        Resolving problems: 9.5/10
        General Running of Console: 9/10
        Yappy or Rasvar on Console?: Yappy but also Rasvar
        Would We let him back?: Yes!
        Poink "The Funday Pawpet show.. Blah Blah o_O"
            Ezra "Ok, you folks read ALL of that..." (Drum roll) "IN BED!!!!!!!!!"
        CHANNEL LAG COUNTER: LOTS  "IN BED!!!!!!!!!!"
        Bandit eating the Helicopter
        "Bandit... IN BED!!!!!!!!!!!"
        Pencil drawings for A Pawpet Christmas Carol, taking a moment to study.
        "It's.." "IN BED!!!" ".. it's our characters from the Poink Christmas!" "IN BED!"
3:38 http://pawpet.tv/archives/view/2009/2009-12-20,Kresblain-DSC03188.JPG
        Inked version this time. "And there it is again!" Pause "IN BED!!!!!!!!"
        A Christmas card with a barcode? Long read. Quality Guarnateed!
        LET'S PLAY: Who's that silhouette at Yappy's Fridge? Looks like Alfred Hitchock?
        "IN BED!...?"
        Ezra runs hell-belt away from the helicopter, as a manical Bitch Voop controls it
        "Nooooooononononono... IN BED!!!!!...."
        A canine boy scout jumps toward Santa's lap, while Santa holds up his hands to
            shield himself. Is he going to poot?
        "No art jam tonight, trying to finish my Christmas Comic, Here's a preview if
            anyone wants to see.. "IN BED!" ..Merry Christmas FPS.. in bed."
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/17671 (Freakin LOOP IT!)
3:39    Yappy sings "Somebody farted in Santa's lap.." Ezra "I.. farted in Santa's lap."
            Poink "I.. farted in Santa's mouth." Ezra "In bed?" "In bed."
        Kitchen Cam. Poink "That was it, and there is Rasvar's head."
        Mutt, Ezra, Poink and Ying Yang all on stage. "So, we're almost done with the
            show?" "In bed!" "And we're 5 days away from Christmas.." "In bed!"
        Poink "And now we're gonna do the shout-outs!" "IN BED!!"
        Yappy "Ok.. shout outs.." "IN BED!!!"
        Yappy recites "MST3K went off the air due to the cast's own decisions, not
            because they were in the negative side of ratings." "IN BED!"
        Mutt "Then why did they do Rifftracks?" "IN BED!!"
            Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? People are laughing. Angels sing.
            People recover for a moment. Poink "... IN BED!" they start laughting again.
        Yappy "Hey guys, just wanted to wish you a Merry CHristmas and a Happy New Year,
            from Rebel Reptile." "IN BED!!!"
3:40    Mutt considers "I'm going to go to sleep.." "IN BED!!!"
        "Hey FPS crew, this is WolfFox09's mate saying this: He told me to tell you guys
            that he's dropped under 2 feet of snow on Long Island, and will not make
            the Christmas Show. Peace to you guys, and Ezra... 'it may be a bad idea'"
                "IN BED!!!!" Ezra "WHAT would be a bad idea..?"
        Apoc says "I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, to
            everyone watching I wish the same to you. PS. Dear Mr. Jackrabbit and Mr.
            Yappyfox I'm wondering if it's ok (take a breath) if I place a -link- to
            Mr. Jackrabbit's Poinkcast and to the Pawpet show on a website such as mine,
            as favorite links catagory.." "IN BED!!!!"
                People nods. Poink "You are more than welcome to do so." Mutt "In bed."
        Poink "Mater of fact, send me your informarion I'll help plug you." "In bed."
        Yappy "Wishing you all Merry Crumble and Happy New Year" Poink waits "I'm NOT
            gonna -plug- this person in bed.."
3:41    "Season's Greetings to one and all!.." "IN BED!" Yappy continues ".. your friends
            at the Walnut Gallery.." "IN BED!"
        More seasons greetings, and things to do in bed.
        Guy turns 23 on the 22nd. "IN BED!" Mutt "Don't.. don't.." Ezra makes a show of
            farting. "AAHHHHH..." In bed.
        Mutt starts beating Ezra with a pink loofa. On stage.
        "In Bed" becomes every third word. The angels are STILL singing..
3:42    "You guys suck! Just kidding! - Whitepaw (3..2..) Someone distanst goes "in bed."
        Mutt starts.. DOING things to Ezra.. just have to watch it.. I don't know what.
        Mutt and Ezra are now both joined at the neck by fuzzy handcuffs? They play
            tug-of-war. People cackle.
        "Tiger Woods was hitting another eight holes on the side.." Struggle continues.
        Finally, at long last, THE TREE FALLS OVER. Rasvar YAYS! Yappy "Oh MAN!"
            Mutt and Ezra fall behind the stage.
        Stagehand tries to right the tree, but it stays dead. FINISH IT! Dododo...
        Yappy arghs! "I basicly have.. too many.. shout outs to air! We're not even
            through a quarter of them.. so if you wanna see the Shout Outs, they're on
            the Website!"
3:43    Mutt "SCREW YU!!!" Poink "IN BED!!!"
        Yappy hahs "Because I won't get through them with *THIS* Cast!" "SCREW YU!!!"
            "IN BED!!!!"
        Mutt goes old school hiphop "You mean NUTHIN! We dan't work for YU! You don't
            own us! *I'M AN ADULT*!!!"  Laughter "IN BED!"
            Ezra "And if you're an ADULT, don't touch me there!!"
        Rasvar "We killed.." Mutt "I TUUK YOUR SHOUTOUTS AND THRUW THEM ON THE GROUND!!"
            Rasvar "YOU KILLED *FOREST* YOU BASTARDS!!" Mutt "(quiet) yay..."
<Background> http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/101632
        People cough, recover. Poink "I will say THIS, this is one of the funniest
            shows we've done in years!" Ying Yang nods, then blinks, turning "In bed."
        Poink "You know, we did kick it off with the Acid Flashback, which seemed to
            light a lot of people up. And something we were discussing during the
            dinner break.." "..in bed?.." "..us getting togther and producing something
            else?" "..in bed?" "In Bed!"
        The "In Bed" project. Mutt "I thought we just did that? (Strong Bad) We did et
            to deeeeath.." Poink nods. Ezra holds up a huge cane "Mutt has licked this
            candy cane stripeless!"
3:44    Poink "That's not the only thing he licked the stripes off of!" Mutt "....in bed."
        Forest is ressurrected as Mutt disappears "Der's twu much BED guing on!"
        Ezra "For-EST!" "Nah whut's with da BED?" "It's CHRISTMAS TIME!" ".. en BED?"
        Ezra "That's our newest Christmas Carol! Instead of 'Christmastime in Hell', it's
            Christmastime in BED!"
        Forest understands about people decorating him so he looks gay "But Hoonestly,
            Luuk at MI! I luuk like someune drunk and gay, decurated mi.."
            Ezra "You look like you came right out of that BB store at the mall!"
        Forest doesn't like electric lights? "I'm on a LEESH. *tug tugs* I can't muve..
            anywhure.. it's like I'm stuck to the wall.." Ezra pees on him "AH YOU BITCH!"
        Forest lays down and stabs Ezra with his crown. Ezra laughs, tickled.
3:45    Forest "I'll Keeeeell Yuuu!" Ezra "You don't even look like a BB, you look like
            you came from Claire's!" Stab. Ezra ducks, then pops back up "You are the
            -ghettoest- Christmas Tree.."
        Forest "But I'm da Christmas Twee! And you wanna Bee me!" Ezra "I don't wanna BE
            you, I wanna (leg lifts) PEE you!" ".. if you DU you're wonna DIE cause I'm
        SONG! "I WANNA HIPPOPOTAMUS FOR CHRISTMAS!" Poink "Music from Weiners.. I'll lead
            the chorus.."
        "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas.." Poink "In bed.."
        "To play with and Enjoy.." "IN BED!"
        "I don't think Santa Claus will mind.." "IN BED!"
        Cast keeps add "IN BED" to everything!
3:46    Dual-screen mode, video AND the stage playing at once.
        "IN BED!" "IN BED!" "IN BED!" Mutt "We're going to get our tires slashed if we
            keep doing this.."
        "I only want.. Hippopotammusses.." "IN BED!" Stick figure girl rides the hippo,
        VIDEO CUT.
        Poink "ELVIS!" Mutt "I *HATE* this song!" "Let me give you my panties!!!"
        Everyone except Mutt keeps singing. "Elvis don't smile.. you don't deserve to
            smile.. this song sucks!" Ezra mimes kissing Mutt
        Pan out to the supporting band. Mutt "I gotta gun, I'm gonna kill the background
            singers!" ducks under. Yappy whats? "Those were the Gordanaires!"
        Bluuuuuuuuuuueeee Christmassssss without Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... "I don't CARE!"
        Mutt mimics using a bazooka, while the others augment the background singers.
        "Pppppp!" "ooOOOAAAAoooo.." "PPPP!" "oooOOOAAAAoooo.." "PP PP PP PP!!!!!"
        Mutt scores repeated headshots on Ezra with the legs of a held naked Barbie.
        The angels have finally stopped singing.
3:48    Poink tries out being Elvis for a while. It works. "WHY DO I SOUND THAT CLOSE!??"
        Poink goes to Hugh to remove the curse.
        Video cut.
        VIDEO: DOMINIC THE DONKEY! Poink "You've been asking for it! Here it is..."
        "HEY! ChingaitChing HEE-HAA HEE-HAA It's Dominic the Donkey!"
        Grown men cavort down the street. Mutt "Oh my GAWD.."
3:49    The Mario Brothers reveal their new secret weapon for Christmas.
            Mutt "Is this like.. the REAL video?" Poink "YES."
        Donkey with a mustache.
        Santa uses Dominic "Because the reindeer cannot climb the hills of I-taly! HEY!"
        Playing leapfrog with a donkey (risky?) do-see-doing with a donkey.
3:50    The important thing is about being happy, really. And they are.
3:51    Chorus of Hee-Haas. Cut
        Poink "Well.. Forest just tries to hang himself." Tipped over, not moving.
            "I cowldn't taqe the sung no mooor.." agonizing sounds.
            Donkey puppet pops up "HeeHaaHeeHaaHeeHaaHeeHaa.." "I COWLDn'T Shtop watchig
            It! It twas like watching my brothers BURNNNN..."
        Forest hates the show. Poink "Amen." YingYang "A-men!" Donkey tries to kick Mutt.
            Mutt "Are you.. Dominic?" Donkey gives Goofy laugh "I cowld bee.."
            Poink "We just brought Christmas to a screeching halt."
        Mutt "What video's worse than that, EVER?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joNwYPdEBTc (You know, you make it easy sometimes)
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/233795 (And here's the "English" translation..)
        Poink ".. you GOTTA ask that?" Rasvar "REALLY! Do you REALLY want to go there?"
            Mutt "For Offical Music Videos?" Poink "Not sure how Offical that was.."
            Donkey "Apache!"
            Long pause. Mutt "That was WORSE!"
        Mutt nos "This is Weird Al! It ain't gonna be bad, it's gonna be good!"
        Fun with Stock Footage, Black and White Bomb Test videos and Christmas Shows.
3:53    "Everywhere the Atom Bombs are droppin! (Sax riff) It's the end of all Humanity!"
        "No more time for Last-minute shoppin! (Sax RIFF) It's time to face your final
        30 seconds of musical interlude as people caught in everyday tasks duck and
            cover to ward off The Bomb.
        Ronald Reagan "(serene) Well.. the Big Day's only a few hours away now.. I'm
            sure you're all looking forward to it as much as we are (smile)."
        "You might hear reindeer on your roof top (Sax riff) Or Jack Frost on your
        "But if someone's climbin down your chimney.. (Sax RIFF) You better load your
            GUN and shoot to kill!"
3:54    Girl swoons, and is kissed by five guys in a group hug. "HEY! WOOO!"
        Al Grins up from his carol book. Mutt "I miss Al with a mustache."
3:55    Mutt "That was a lot of guys kissing.." Poink "Well when you think about it,
            when the Bomb drops.. it's no holds barred."
        Donkey "HEY MUTT?" Mutt looks "Hey?" Donkey kisses him and runs. "Aw! Shmoopie."
            Ezra ayucks "You just got KISSED byan ASS!"
        Pause. Mutt "ALRIGHT! No one said it." Poink "What?" Mutt "Score.. we're done."
(IN BED!!) "It.. they're dead, they're gone."
        Mutt still thinks Dominic sucks. "Four minutes of my life I can never return.."
            Ezra "Four minutes that will come back to HAUNT you!"
            Poink "What are you TALKIN about? It's FOUR HOURS of your life!"
                Mutt "(resigned) Even THIS show's better than that VIDEO.."
        Stagehand puts a penguin puppet over Poink's head. Poink just looks at you, beaky
            Ezra "Poink actually looks cute now!" Mutt "It's an Owl!" "No, it's a Penguin!
3:56    Poink starts WHOOOOing. No joke yet about where his head is.
        Ying "Poink?" Poink "WHO." "Poink?" "WHO." "Poink.." "WHO?" "Poink." "Hooters!"
            Poink tosses the puppet off "Oh the hell with it.. TITTIES!"
        Yappy fires up some music "Now we have to close up the show now!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yasSkqJBytk (Complements of Runescape)
        "The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.. is finding a Christmas
            Tree.." *ding*
        "The Second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me.." "Rigging up the Lights"
            "And finding a Christmas treee!" *ding*
        Pawpets mime the voices, one by one
        Ezra tries to rig up Forest's lights, but it's no use.
3:57    9 puppets on stage! "5 MONTHS OF BILLS!!!" Hugh "EW!"
        Frankie the evil waiter from Rainforest Cafe (Teddy with long arms)
            "Salvation Army!"
        11 puppets on stage!
        "I want a Transformer.. for Christmas!!" Mutt "CARROT! CARROT!"
<Background> http://ocremix.org/remix/OCR01069/
Yappy Fox     Herbie     Kuddlepup      Brace Bear     Jakrabbit      Blitz
                                "WHAT WE HAVE NO EXTENSION CORDS??"
        Big Carrot "DADDY I WANT SOME CANDY!" Mut "YAY!"
3:59    TWELVE Puppets on stage!
        "And finding a Christmas Tree..." *DING*
        "The 12th thing at Christmas That's such a pain to me..."
        "Stale TV Specials!"
        "Batteries not included?"
        "No parking!?"
        Carrot just starts crying.
        "Gotta makem DINNER!"
        "(chorus) FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!!!!!"
        "I'm not sending them this year, that's it!"
        "Shut up YOU..."
        "(chorus) And FiiinndING a Christtttmasssss... TREEEEEEEEEEeeeeee.e..e.eeEEEEEE.."
        Hugh "Why am I the Girl?"
                            *****TIMELINE CREDITS******** 
Paragon X9 - Polar 240
BAD MAN INCORPORATED - BBQ Beefburgerman Theme2
EVIL DOG - The Little Drummer Punk Droid
MARIAH CAREY - SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN' TO TOWN (I couldn't find either Devin's version or the Toxic Audio one, or a decent-sounding Accapella)
Fred - Christmas is Creepy
SHADOWFOX2 - Hipster's Halloween
M.S.MEHAWICH - Super Mario Bros 'TheItalianPlumber'
KAIJIN - Animal Crossing 'Traveling'
ALEXX PACIFICI - Tetris (Rock Version)
The Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams are Made of These
THE MARVELOUS TOY - Song by Tom Praxton (thanks to Longtail for this one)
SUPRADARKY - Ducktales Fun on the Moon
Pheel - Still Alive! 8 bit cover
Fred's 12 Days of CHristmas
Joe Bethancourt - The Murderous Toy (... and this one)
HEY HEY 16k!
Inflation. Male. Kangaroo.
TmsT's "Frosty vs Rudolf"
LESSTHAN3 - DER WEIHNACHTSMANN (Yes, this does translate to "Santa Claus" in German. It's
actually a very happy song, once you get past the Angry German 'Du Hast' Rock style.)
Johnathan Coulton - IKEA
WuSchell - Jordan Rudes??
Luigi Cipriani (Sorrow-316) - Kakariko Snow Village
World Record "Throwing TVs Out Of A Third Story Window" Video
PhantomRepublic - Transmission X
PianoForte - Skywards
SEGATA SANSHIRO! The Epic Music Video of the Champion of the Sega Saturn
DruoxTheSHredder - SEGATA SANSHIRO - The "English" translation of the above song. NSFW!
DarkeSword - Mario Kart 64 'Party in the Snowland'
FAILBLOG - Because it's so awesomely funny.
Map of IKEA consuming the world. The Superpowers are already neutralized.
What eating IKEA Lincoln Berries eventually does to people.
SKI JUMP FAIL aka THE SIMBA VIDEO (I spent 3 hours trying to find this, searching for snowboarding. When you folks mentioned the guy had skis, it took 30 seconds. Thankx)
RIFFTRAX-The new thing the MST3K people did, MP3's you can play in-sync with a legit DVD.
Rick Roll'D!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5QI4ESioUM Opus the Penguin! Chapter 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7T70O7GgwU&feature=channel Chapter 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3emUZ64OeY&feature=channel Chapter 3
A WISH FOR WINGS THAT WORK - Youtube 3 part edition
**** MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOR VALENTINE'S DAY **** (Wishes for a brain that works)